I also spent some serious cash on new books to study at home. They started coming in the mail this week. I am excited about starting a programming project on my own at home to help me learn more. I'm terrified of not performing well. This job means everything to my family, which consists of just myself and my son. It means stability. I need that in my life and my son definitely needs it. I worry about providing him a better life every day. I check myself and don't get overwhelmed anymore. I give a lot up to God. It's how I got the job and the apartment. I didn't worry about it or feel the terrible anxiety because I told myself that if this is the path God wants for me then He will provide. I've never been able to do that before. I like to be the master of my own destiny. Each day is a trial to be the best ME.