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Abandoned ...

Posted by cordeliaVorkosigan , 01 April 2012 · 26 views

Abandonment and feelings of being abandoned are things that have plagued my adulthood. My soul mate has abandoned me. He chooses not to help me right now and now told me he won't call for a couple weeks. I believe he just doesn't want to hear about what he won't change. I emailed him and told him that it must be getting so easy for him to walk away. I was pathetic but I was hurt and crying again. I just told him that I would never get over him and he was kidding himself. I completely believe this to be true. I've never loved a man as I love him; not even my ex-husbandand we were together for 12 years. I cry every day. Every time I think of him I cry. When at work I don't think about anything so that is the only part of the day that I am not close to tears. Thank God for my job. It's my one ray of sunshine in this dark world.

Wow we do have simular experiences.

I have abandonment issues big time. I was married to my ex for 15 years. I met my soul mate after that and was with him for 7 years then one day without warning he walked away. Decided to return to his ex so he could see his children everyday. His parting words were he will always love me and in 7 years when his children are all grown and out of high school he would find me. Haha it now has been 8 years and he hasn't found me and he only lives a block away. I never loved or trusted anyone as much as I did him. I believed him and I believed in him. It may have been all a lie but how I felt about him was true to my already scarred heart. IDK. I still miss him and cry sometimes but time lessens the pain.

I know how much pain you are in and I am so sorry cuz you don't deserve it. You deserve love from someone 24/7. It is hard but I know you are a fighter and you will get through everything. Man your life sucks right now but you are still standing, doing and moving. Hold on to that and your son. You can do it.

I am still your quiet cheerleader. I am here whenever you need to PM me.

Blessings and I hope it is okay to send hugs cuz I think you need some. :hug: :hug: :hug:
Apr 05 2012 08:48 AM
Thanks. I enjoy your support. Been trying to settle in a little at this temporary place I'm staying. I'm desperately trying to find a place for my son and I to rent that i can afford. Not an easy task. I don't cry every single day any more over the loss of my soul mate. I had a guy text me last night that I haven't seen in almost a year. That made me feel good. He probably is single again. Not sure how I feel about it but it felt good. It gives me hope that I'm not dead inside.

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