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A lil ramble with a happy ending

Posted by , 12 May 2005 · 35 views

I wa thinking about this yesterday, somedays man I could probally easily dislike myself. I'm so irritated with myself lately or atleast anymore. Its like I know the things I have to do, I know the things I must get done and I either do not have the cash to pay for them or I am afraid to go through with them. I figure if I describe each thing as them then I don't really have to realize that they are there.I know this whole damn thing sounds like a riddle, I just am so tired of so much. whether it be my life, my job, my choices. It probally doesn't help that soon being 28 years old kinda throws me off. It makes me feel like I have thrown alot of my life away. I can't excuse myself and I can't go back, I just feel like my life is sitting in some rut right now and I am unsure of how to pull myself out of it.Sometimes I think that if I just ignore it all enough, it will change the way I want it to without any work on my part. I wish I was at the very last thing that I have to fix, then life would be just that much easier...atleast for now. I'm sick of my job, I am actually starting to hate it. It doesn't help that I am not a fan of most of my coworkers anymore. It doesn't help that many of my close ones are leaving soon. I feel lifeless. I hate it. I hate feeling that way. I feel like it wouldn't matter if I was seen or unseen, like its possible to just be a fleeting thought. Sometimes I feel like that. Today though, I'm just annoyed. With myself and with others.But on a happy note, exactly 23 days until I meet another Pandy survivor!! :D



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