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Lost and Struggling. Could T for general depression and other such nonsense

Posted by heaeliper , 04 March 2014 · 142 views

I have been making a list of the things in my life that are going well and a list of the not so well. I am under an extreme amount of stress and my ptsd is really taking its toll here of late. I don't know who this will help but I am going through with it to take a personal inventory. 
Contributing factors to anxiety.
Took emergency custody of a really angry and damaged 13 year old so new parental unit role for me . This was not a voluntary or expected addition to my life. My long term boyfriend's ex got arrested and well you date the guy you date the kid.
I have unexplained rapid weight loss and the docs are sending me for test after test but still don't know what is wrong. As a cancer survivor this is startling.
I sleep 3 to 5 hours a night if I am lucky.
I have no job but huge debt
My role is sort of maid. parent. counselor, nanny.
I feel my life has little value.
I find it hard to believe in faith hope but still believe in love.
Now the good
I am alive
I am educated
I am loved
I have a soul
I can beat anything once.
Out there somewhere someone gives a crap about me.
Yeah like I thought the good still outweigh the bad. I can still do this.

Mar 05 2014 09:51 PM

Thinking of you. I can relate in that I am also under a tremendous amount of non-trauma-related stress that is making me more high strung and stressed out in trauma-related ways. Hang in there, and thank you for posting this.

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