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Over the past month or so I have seen a new therapist and today we started EMDR. A tactic that is suppose to help with my PTSD. I am still skeptical but I think there might be something to some of it. Anyway, I am in the process of really trying to get over the rape. I feel like I have been going through the motions of healing for the last 19 years. I want to feel like the rape is something that happened to me and not something that IS me. I want to feel like a better person. Or, maybe, I just want a clearer picture of well and whole. Right now, well and whole is not even a spot on the horizon. I want to commit to myself and bank on my abilities. I want to feel like an adult who can live with this drama like I do other problems. I hope that I will gain some information about myself from this therapist, even if it is just a few coping techniques. I hope all is well!
I am always up for comments, good bad indifferent. I can use feedback. If you feel like you cannot offer any feedback, that is ok. Just know that I wish you the peace that you seek.
I am always up for comments, good bad indifferent. I can use feedback. If you feel like you cannot offer any feedback, that is ok. Just know that I wish you the peace that you seek.
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Important information
While it is true that I am a licensed psychologist, I am here as a survivor, I do not work for pandys and anything I say should be taken as advice from a survivor and not that of a professional psychologist. Please refer to the crisis information within the site and know that everyone heals differently.
I do not wish to offend anyone reading my blog, however sometimes I cannot express my view by filtering my entries. Please read everything in my blog with care. Please know that I support all of you and I wish you well on your path to well and whole.
I do not wish to offend anyone reading my blog, however sometimes I cannot express my view by filtering my entries. Please read everything in my blog with care. Please know that I support all of you and I wish you well on your path to well and whole.
I was raped 20 years ago, and for all of those years I've just been going through the motions of living without dealing with it.
But now I feel just like you do. I want it to be something that happened to me, and that's all. I don't want it to have such a hold over ever part of me. I've been working on telling my story in my blog, and I think it is helping me.
I hope EMDR goes well for you, and that it helps you in some way. Just to gain some coping techniques is a big thing. It would be for me. I hope you learn some.
Take gentle care, and I wish you the peace that you seek, too
missophelia, on 26 February 2010 - 09:22 PM, said:
I was raped 20 years ago, and for all of those years I've just been going through the motions of living without dealing with it.
But now I feel just like you do. I want it to be something that happened to me, and that's all. I don't want it to have such a hold over ever part of me. I've been working on telling my story in my blog, and I think it is helping me.
I hope EMDR goes well for you, and that it helps you in some way. Just to gain some coping techniques is a big thing. It would be for me. I hope you learn some.
Take gentle care, and I wish you the peace that you seek, too
Thanks for taking the time to respond to my blog post. I guess, like me, the late 80s/early 90s really sucked for you. I am sorry that life has handed us experiences that are almost unbearable. If I learn any techniques I will pass them along. I told my story on the board. If you want to read it, it is titled "the way it all went down" If you need encouragement in pushing past the pain of telling your story let me know. I will leave you with something my grandmother told me about the Ra&e and telling my story at trial. She was a little nutty but I loved her. She compared telling my story to trying to get to the airport. You know how most airports are not in the best location? She said sometimes you have to drive through the ghetto to get on a plane and move on with life. I hope this helps. Take care and let me know if I can help.