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castellum's metaphor



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Unexpected hope...

Posted by castellum , 22 May 2014 · 31 views

Unexpected Hope....
 
Sometimes, throughout this over 20 year journey to heal, I have found unexpected hope.
Sometimes it is hope from people, sometimes from a change in scenery, sometimes it is hard to accept how others see us.
we have been twisted up for so long that we cannot see ourselves clearly...nor how someone else might actually see us as we...


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How family becomes strangers...

Posted by castellum , 13 May 2014 · 47 views

Little Cas was pretty anxious that we had to go back home this passed weekend.
Knowing that a 'run in' with mother was likely....knowing it throws things off balance etc.
Several months ago this happened and Cas the 'actress' was in full form so all the other people that were
at the same event would not know how much it shook her.
 
It was weird then...


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little Cas

Posted by castellum , 04 May 2014 · 39 views

Little Cas...... warning may cause triggers for some.......!
 
little Cas is still so angry....she wants justice....she wants protection and unconditional love.
little Cas has been upset with me, as I have shoved her into silence and not wanted to deal with her pain.
little Cas is what I have decided to call the little girl within...trying to figure...


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If they only knew....

Posted by castellum , 02 May 2014 · 41 views

Sometimes I think to myself, 'if they only knew' the anxiety I am trying to hide.
The pain that bites so deeply sometimes and for so many years that my eyes do not know how to cry.
But within me, well it sounds so melodramatic, but there is such suffering within me sometimes.
 
And yet, most people would never know.....I became so adept at hiding and...


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creating cas

Posted by castellum , 29 April 2014 · 39 views

I love poetry....my favorite poetic device is the metaphor. I often see my life as word pictures....
some of the poetry of my life is beautiful because it does not hide behind the pretenses of what others expect of me. For a long while, I have felt as though my voice was silenced. The farther away from the catharsis of theatre (which was my therapy for ye...





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