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Learning not to Remember


Baby gender and improved therapy sessions

Posted by SilverandBlue , 17 November 2015 · 32 views

I learned last week that I'm having a baby girl! Much pleased as I wasnt sure I could handle a boy. Little boys trigger me so I hoped and hoped for a girl and I got my wish! She'll be here end of March 2016 barring any more complications. Chance of earlier delivery due to blood pressure problems but it's being managed so hopefully not.
Due to this blood...


Trying to wait it out

Posted by SilverandBlue , 07 November 2015 · 50 views

It's going to be a long week. I've been constantly worried about my next T appointment, and I can't get off the worry boat.
On the bright side, I'll know the gender of this baby on Monday morning! So excited for that, I want to know if my instincts are right 😀.
But just... I hate this constant anxiety on my mind and I don't want to tell T about...


So bad, terrible crying fit in T today

Posted by SilverandBlue , 05 November 2015 · 70 views

My last couple sessions have been mostly me getting out the stuff that's crammed in my head. being pregnant has taken over my brain. So that's what I've been talking about. My T doesn't have kids, and as far as I know has never been pregnant so I think subconsciously I've been unfairly dismissive of her opinion. She told me today that today and last week...


EMDR and therapy in general

Posted by SilverandBlue , 29 October 2015 · 54 views

My T has been quite blunt with me with what she notices I do. She doesn't miss a thing, which is why I still pay her. I mentioned just as a passing thing, and quite quietly that we're switching insurance providers in December and I didn't think she had heard but she had 😄.
She mentioned mind mapping and apparently I am quite adept at it. Which I...


Really intense session today -TW-

Posted by SilverandBlue , 17 September 2015 · 107 views

My T has really started cracking down on making progress with me. She'll get very blunt and ask me an incredibly difficult question almost purposely to set me off. While I don't want to go to T right now, I do anyway because I don't want to be a psycho and I don't want my husband and future children to have to deal with a psycho. That is literally the onl...


NO. No no no!

Posted by SilverandBlue , 28 August 2015 · 78 views

I had a dream about my old T last night and now I can't stop obsessing. 😭 I've had a similar dream before, where I was her patient again but it was a different location and everything was just different. It's one of those dreams I have that feel so realistic I feel like it actually happened because it's also usually nothing outside of the ordinary...


T yesterday

Posted by SilverandBlue , 26 August 2015 · 106 views

I sense a growing frustration in my T with my inability to focus and get work done. When I actually do, I always dissociate and it all goes to waste.
We're focusing on my issues with intimacy right now. I was fine the first month of marriage but ever since I realized I was pregnant I just can not handle any kind of sexual intimacy. I tense up, and I get...


Continuing pain and fading nausea

Posted by SilverandBlue , 21 August 2015 · 98 views

Well since I got nausea meds that work, that has faded. But as my ligaments and tendons soften pain has increased. I have one shorter leg, which makes my hips off kilter and my spine tend to curve. Which has been treated with physical therapy to the point of little to no pain. Well, in pregnancy, your ligaments and tendons soften and loosen to allow for a...


Big news!

Posted by SilverandBlue , 26 July 2015 · 113 views

While I'm posting this a little premature, I can't help it.
I'm pregnant!
I've always wanted kids as has my husband so it was neither shocking nor a negative to get the confirmation of something I already knew.
That was the good news. It comes with a whole lot of not so good news.
I am at high risk for miscarriage. I'm only 5 weeks along so that risk i...


Married life and T

Posted by SilverandBlue , 09 July 2015 · 83 views

I've been married for almost 3 weeks now. I'm really enjoying having constant company so far, my husband is so kind, caring and gentle I like nothing better than to just be with him.
On the honeymoon, I got a UTI (hooray....). If you've never gotten one count yourself lucky. Mine wasn't as painful as most but it was still painful and my poor husband had...

December 2015

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