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Learning not to Remember



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Breaking

Posted by SilverandBlue , 14 July 2016 · 42 views

Lately, my husband seems to want nothing to do with s**. He's perfectly fine and playful during the day but once the baby is down he goes to bed and either reads his ridiculous budgeting book of it's early or if it's 9 already he just goes to bed and wants nothing to do with my cues that I want to get down to business. A few times he has actually pushed m...


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Breaking

Posted by SilverandBlue , 14 July 2016 · 16 views

Lately, my husband seems to want nothing to do with s**. He's perfectly fine and playful during the day but once the baby is down he goes to bed and either reads his ridiculous budgeting book of it's early or if it's 9 already he just goes to bed and wants nothing to do with my cues that I want to get down to business. A few times he has actually pushed m...


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Yuupp. As I expected *TW

Posted by SilverandBlue , 16 June 2016 · 53 views

I suspected I was pregnant again and while I was right, I also miscarried the same day I confirmed it.
Don't think my body was ready to carry another child at all. This came on the heels of discovering I'm severely anemic from savi's birth, and severely B12 deficient. I don't think with those circumstances my body could sustain a pregnancy and I was righ...


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Difficult decisions

Posted by SilverandBlue , 03 June 2016 · 49 views

Money is really tight in this household now, especially having a new baby, my diabetes etc. I feel horrendously guilty for even seeing my T. Part of me wants to quit/take a break just so my husband will stop mentioning how expensive it is but I'm starting to make progress finally and don't want to stop or start over with a T that is covered by insurance....


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Baby Savannah

Posted by SilverandBlue , 26 March 2016 · 116 views

I just realized I forgot to update y'all! So as my last entry said, I delivered my baby girl. She was born March 14th at 8pm, and her name is Savannah. It ended in a C-section because I spiked a fever, my uterus was worn out from contracting every two minutes for two days straight and I was stuck dilated to a 9. SO CLOSE! But it was a good decision, they...


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I'm having my baby this weekend!

Posted by SilverandBlue , 09 March 2016 · 190 views

I was hospitalized last week for preeclampsia and now will be induced this weekend. I will be 37 weeks exactly.
I did not expect this! I expected to be able to go at least till week 39 (due to the type 1 diabetes that was as far as OB was willing to let me go) but all of a sudden I have to wrap my brain around delivering a baby within a few days. Luckily...


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Let's have this baby already!

Posted by SilverandBlue , 27 February 2016 · 116 views

I actually may be having this baby soon. I'm 35 weeks tomorrow but my blood pressure is not responding to the meds that were doing a great job until a week ago. My dose has been tripled to no avail. We'll see how it it on Monday but the doc told me to bring my bag, so...
I'm not sure I want this baby to come yet or not. Honestly, I know it's best for her...


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Sexual misconduct policy

Posted by SilverandBlue , 18 February 2016 · 83 views

I'm part of a committee to write the sexual misconduct policy for my church. It's a new congregation part of a larger organization and not all the congregations even acknowledge sexual abuse can and will happen in their beloved church. This pisses me off. Ignoring it is just as bad as being a predator yourself. So I'm glad the members of my congregation a...


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Just chilling until baby comes

Posted by SilverandBlue , 31 January 2016 · 117 views

Yet another hospital trip. Woke up to loads of blood and cramping. Would be indicative of a miscarriage if I wasn't 31 weeks along so of course I went in. And it was... Nothing! Babes is fine, waters have not broken, am not in preterm labor! All well and good but I'm still contracting and cramping. Basically still having all the signs of preterm labor but...


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In the hospital

Posted by SilverandBlue , 03 January 2016 · 302 views

I was bleeding yesterday morning and the labor and delivery nurse I talked to asked me to come in to be checked out. 28 hours later and I'm still here.
Bleeding is almost inconsequential. Either a small tear in the placenta or irritation somewhere. But I also have an infection and my pulse is high. Coincidentally, baby's pulse is randomly dropping so the...






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