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My Journey



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My lowest

Posted by journey29 , 01 April 2013 · 13 views

If there's any day that's lower than today then am done for...I have nowhere to run, no one to turn to, felt like the walls were closing in on me, can't think straight, can't function, am just numb. I want to scream so bad but tears just come out. How can a person feel so mortified, so depressed and after such a good day. Am convinced am B...


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Slipped back !

Posted by journey29 , 29 March 2013 · 15 views

Well I had a great 2 weeks of being at peace and somehow I thought I could conquer the world and to the back of my mind I just new it was too good to be true, something wasn't feeling right, I know that I was going to slip up somehow and revert to my dark place. Now I feel so stupid for even trying to be at peace cause its always a constant struggle d...


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Old Photos

Posted by journey29 , 29 March 2013 · 9 views

I finally got around to clearing up some old clutter and I came across an old photo from graduation, I just stared at it for a while and it made me sick to my stomach, I look so sad, its so obvious you can see it in all my photos from then, not a smile in any and if there is, it still looks horrid, I can't stand to look at it anymore. I guess it broug...


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Dark days are never ending

Posted by journey29 , 27 March 2013 · 13 views

When you least expect it those dark days always hit you like a car travelling 150mph. I thought I was literally on that path to healing, but its so hard to stay afloat, everyday its a constant battle to convince myself that everything's ok, its going to be a good day and I always say to myself why, why, do I have to live like this, its so unfair that...


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New Beginnings

Posted by journey29 , 10 March 2013 · 11 views

I feel empowered, I feel strong, I am beautiful, I am no longer weak, I will overcome this, I will achieve happiness!!!!

I have to start turning around my life and start living it for me, finding out who I am, what I like, and not have anything hold me back. Its time to stand up against abuse, its time to flush rape down the toilet, time...


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Overreaction!

Posted by journey29 , 07 March 2013 · 8 views

Dear Friend,

Sorry I overreacted about this, you just have to understand from my point of view that its a lot to expose my most deepest secret to you, I dont know why i reacted the way that I did, its never happened before, I guess its because I never opened up to someone, or I should say, let someone read my secerets and what I fear most.

Am a wreck, a...


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Possible encounters

Posted by journey29 , 05 March 2013 · 11 views

I never really gave it any thought at all until recently, encountering my cousin who sexually abused me, he should not have that title any longer, he is not worth it. I have so much hatred inside me and each time I think of it am so enraged. My abuser has a daughter of his own now and she is about the age I was at the time of my abuse and I wonder if he...


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Slowly figuring it out

Posted by journey29 , 04 March 2013 · 8 views

I am not afraid of death, in fact for as long as I can think back to the time of my demise I have craved that one day I shall leave this godforsaken place and be elsewhere where I can find peace in my life.
It may be sick and morbid but I had wished that I had a terminal illness so that I could just die, give up and just let it be done with. It still ling...


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Today was a good day!

Posted by journey29 , 25 February 2013 · 11 views

Today was a good day, haven't had much of those lately, but I must say, I was flying of my chair today, don't know if I had some extra endorphins floating around, but wow I was on an ultimate high and I still am.....

I wonder if its due to not having slept for 2 days and more than likely am headed for a 3rd night :unsure:

Am just enjoying this...


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How it all started

Posted by journey29 , 24 February 2013 · 18 views

Growing up in a household where my parents were always working, it didn't leave much space for a child to be a child. I was constantly pushed back and forth to relatives houses whenever the summer vacations came round and that's how it all started.

I remember staying at this farm when I was 5 years, my parents thought it wasn't safe to leave...





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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.