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Falula's Random Stuff



Posted by Falula , in suicide, depression 08 April 2013 · 150 views

About amonth ago I was pretty much suicidal. I was planning my death. On my list was todo my funeral arrangements and buy my cemetery plot. I was really, really depressed. I was feeling pain so deep that the only thing that gave me any comfort was the thought of ending my life. I even asked a close loved one if he would understand if I took my life g...


That Last Molecule of Hope

Posted by Falula , in hopelessness, hope, suicide, depression 21 February 2013 · 110 views

I have so much boiling and brewing in me. Thoughts coming and going from every direction. Two polar opposite forces within me: suicide and "I don't want to be 'here'" and somewhere somehow despite everthying an ounce....no....a molecule of "hope" that pushes me to continue my seeming unrelenting pursuit of that ever elusive "somethin...


My First Love...My Molester

Posted by Falula , in love, depression, abandonment, incest, molestation, long-term childhood sexual abuse 21 February 2013 · 129 views

Entry originally written 2/12/13...

We all lived in the same trailer park. His parents were managers there and he did odd jobs around the park. My earliest memories of him are when I was probably around 4-5 years old. He gave me marbles. When my parents separated/divorced he came around and helped my mom out by mowing the yard. He was married with t...

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