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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

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I am. I am not.

17 March 2013
Posted by Slower  
I am a woman of many layers and emotions.
I am not singularly or entirely what has happened in my past.

I am someone who endured sexual assaults and abuses.
I am not victim-- I am no one's victim unless I allow myself to be.

I am a person with many emotions, beliefs, and dreams.
I am not a person who only sees through the lens of my...
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Considering quitting

10 March 2013
Posted by Slower  
I have started on a rough first draft outline for my book. By sort of compiling my history on a timeline such as this I have put some things into perspective.

I'm able to see my history in black and white and it has shown me some things about myself. It has (dreadfully) shown me some things in the types of people that I have placed a...
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Looking for me

04 March 2013
Posted by Slower  

Quote

I haven't seen that girl in the picture in a very long time; if you happen to find her, could you please tell her I miss her and would like to see her again soon.


That is something that someone who once cared about me said upon seeing a picture of me. In this picture was a smiling teenager who was at the time...
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Posted by Slower  
My best friend uttered those words to me tonight. I was telling her how the detectives and my bosses were reacting to me being kidnapped and raped a few weeks ago.

"So, it's not like it's the first time that something bad like this has happened to you."

I mean no harm by this.... but sometimes those who call...
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I WANT TRUTH!

26 February 2013
Posted by Slower  
A while back I had put in one of my status updates: " Truth--The most feared weapon to those who profess to have pure and genuine motives." I believe that a great deal today. I also feel that it is a terrifying prospect to those who have some terrible truth to hide; one that would make their lives very uncomfortable if it were to be...
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Posted by Slower  
I burned my face today. I wanted to have it to be as ugly as possible. I didn't do a good enough job on it. I will have to work on it some more.

I'm tired of people not hearing or understanding what I'm saying. Sometimes they need a visual aid. Maybe a monstrous face as a reminder of how much I hurt will help them to understand.

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Self Loathing

17 December 2012
Posted by Slower  
I don't like myself right now.

I have terrible thoughts of retribution to some people who have hurt me. I don't want to feel this way.

I hate this to my core.

Pain, betrayal,loss, isolation,and exclusion have created someone I hate and can't recognize.

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Soul Death...

18 November 2012
Posted by Slower  
I truly don't know what is wrong with me. I think my soul has withered and dried up of any thing that made it a viable spiritual human entity.

I remember once being able to make jokes and try to make others feel at ease... even when I had been through and was going through some pretty horrendous things.

I remember hope. I had hope that I...
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Lost my way?

12 November 2012
Posted by Slower  
I'm sad. No, maybe I'm hopeless or disillusioned?

I was once such a believer in the basic goodness in humans. I believed that for the most part humans wanted, no, they needed to have TRUE connections with other humans in order to survive. What about Maslow's hierarchy of needs?

Alas, I am now convinced that for the most part humans...
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