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Why we pick bad boys

Posted by fury , 18 January 2013 · 51 views

Almost thirty years ago, talking to the oversight psychiatrist in an abuse shelter, she asked why I had become hostile during a group meeting. An officer had been telling the group how foreign the thought of a loved one inflicting violence on her would be to her. She went on to say that there was hope for us, that we could find someone who would treat u...



Posted by fury , 16 November 2012 · 37 views

So Kat, this is to you, for you. All the sh** you put me through, I went through, everything I lost. I hope you enjoyed how your life ended. Yeah, you were a tortured soul, but instead of dealing with it, you took it out on everyone else. In some way, I hope you became aware of how the biggest lies you told were to yourself. That you could suck in s...


I'm Not So Weird

Posted by fury , 28 February 2012 · 29 views

I basically risked my life to tend my dogs. I left the doc's office AMA, and wouldn't go to the ER for cardiac treatment until I had made provisions for my dogs. They are two rescues - miniature poodles. They are my "people."

I felt lesser than, because I put my dogs first. I know I also have issues with going to the hospital, and I...



Posted by fury , 26 February 2012 · 47 views

It's beginning to sink in that I've been skating - that I've done no real work in several years, and far from my thinking that "I'm so much better," the fact is, I'm deeply into denial and avoidance.

Avoidance has been my number one tool of denial. I live alone, I don't go anywhere but work and necessary shopping, I dress...


All the Crap

Posted by fury , 25 February 2012 · 48 views

Now I'm thinking about why there is so much crap to be dealt with. Why is there this issue and that issue, pile upon pile of emotional garbage and physical ailments?

It's because my parents created controllable victims. I was among the handy vulnerable on whom they could prey. Their shit had years and years, and all manner of situations to f...


My Fear of Medical Care

Posted by fury , 25 February 2012 · 28 views

I was the second of four children, the oldest daughter. My parents were my owners, not my protectors. To the outside world, they did the bare minimum to avoid being charged with neglect, including medical care.

I now understand my father's fear of my going to the doctor, and injuries that could be treated at home, were. Looking back, as a child,...


Writing My Truth

Posted by fury , 19 February 2012 · 40 views

I'm sure much has been written on the matter,what may or may not be fit for publication, but I struggle with this so much. What happened to me happened, but is not appropriate for publication. It is still taboo that these things happen to children, and I am torn about that. No, I don't want to give pedophiles any joy, but, no, I don't think...

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