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Word Vomit


Dear Diary, My teenage angst bullshit has a body count...

Posted by beautiful*disaster , 23 November 2013 · 190 views

Taken from my personal diary entries from the past couple month**
TW for ED/SU...I don't censor my personal writing... although I did edit one part.
October 4th, 2013.
I feel like I'm drowning. Like I've been pulled back out to sea and I suddenly forgot how to swim. How have I managed to find myself back at this place? I was doing so well...My mood...


So Much Noise

Posted by beautiful*disaster , 18 November 2013 · 106 views

I have so much going on in my head that I don't even know where to begin....
I've been having a really rough time. Things seem to be getting even more out of control than normal. I can see how I am sabotaging myself, yet all I can do is sit back and watch it happen. I can't seem to do anything to stop it- perhaps deep down I don't want to do anythi...


Just an update...

Posted by beautiful*disaster , 05 December 2012 · 147 views

I have not blogged in quite some time.

I'm moreso doing this to remind myself. Remind myself what has happened. Where I've been. And where I never want to be again. Hopefully by blogging more often I can gain some insight and also practice "talking" about things...

It's exam time. It's also my birthday today.

Yesterday, I wrot...


February 5/6, 2012 *trigger warning...

Posted by beautiful*disaster , 07 February 2012 · 117 views

Today was a horrible day. Horrible is probably an understatement when describing my day.

Nightmares, flashbacks, body memories, memories, hearing things, smelling things, being so fucking scared and so fucking alone. Panic attacks that made me physically sick to the point where I was throwing up bright red blood and my ribs and back felt as if they were...


January 31, 2010

Posted by beautiful*disaster , 31 January 2012 · 100 views

I really should be writing my paper that is due tomorrow BUT I have way too much going on in my head right now and I cannot even think about doing it.

I had my frist appointment with a new counsellor today-WHAT A FUCKING SHIT STORM THAT WAS!
I hate when Ts ask you what you need/what would help you...like if I knew that I would be doing it and not si...


January 22, 2012 *read with caution.

Posted by beautiful*disaster , 22 January 2012 · 72 views

I've decided to create a blog on here...I don't know why but for some reason this site feels safer than most in regards to me expressing how I actually feel and of course who, if anyone, will read it.

Another reason I wanted to start blogging is in case anything happens. I guess it is fair to say that lately I have been having lots of SU t...

February 2015

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