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danusia007 and usspandora like this
Posted by danusia007   in PROFILE
so six years after joining

i am still hiding (huh ???)

my landlord and i are WWWWWWing together ???

my chiro is treating the injuries from my landlord

dad has been dead for years

his birthday is coming


sis would have had a landmark birthday this year



nephew seems to be recovering from his surgeries


i need surgery...
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Posted by danusia007  
I get to see the counsellor's perspective

and a context for that time period

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Posted by danusia007  
When I left the forum last week

I was crossing at a crosswalk


and there was my old "t" from my work days

some of my pocketriders know some of her story

my stunned response was "Small World ! "


i think she would be stunned to my version of t with her


dear T you costed me my career


with all your emotional abuse and...
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Posted by danusia007  
I am sorting through the various events of my life


sometimes I use music to describe a day or a moment

sometimes I draw or do a collage


other times I write

sometimes here

sometimes using poetry

sometimes there is very little

writing and then other times

I have assorted insights for events

or try to explain a decision


i would like to...
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Posted by danusia007  
I left home age 17

Sis runs away from home age 15/19


Brother's suicide

Assault by rapist

Rapist's name day

Rapist's birthday

Brother's birthday

Dad's death

Romantic relationship anniversary

Relationship anniversary


and I need to add childhood anniversaries

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Friend phoned

27 October 2008
Posted by danusia007  
She was shocked to hear about my cousins's behaviour



She understands about my rapist and my stalker



She understands about my benefits



maybe she can explain it all to my workers


so that they stop making things worse



hmmm maybe a cease and desist order on my workers ????

Tags: My Story

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Posted by danusia007   in My Family I salute my brother, My Family MOM the delimna perp and survivor, My Family NEPHEW, My Family OLDER BROTHER Perp and Victim, My Family SISTER, MY STORY
So after staying in my parents house



i should not be surprised that I had a nightmare about

Dad raping me


strange though that he can rape me



years after being dead


* shudder *

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A quick update

04 February 2008
Posted by danusia007   in CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES support, My Family I salute my brother, My Family MOM the delimna perp and survivor, My Family NEPHEW, My Family SISTER, MY HEALING CIRCLE, MY HEALING CIRCLE my books, MY HEALING CIRCLE My Movies, MY HEALING CIRCLE My Music, MY HEALING CIRCLE sometimes a friend, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY, REFLECTIONS, support
mom is probably unwell

nephew I need to go to his life plan


brother birthday fast approaching



stalker, may have run into her during a snow storm



rapist, I have seen several times



I finished reading LUCKY ........ wow May 1981, her story is amazing !!!!!!



I also read I never called it Rape ... a lot of this...
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Posted by danusia007   in CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES support, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY, PROFILE, REFLECTIONS, support
I continue to be perplexed

by the concept

that "my adult " is to heal

my childhood sexual assaults

as an adult would be traumatized by these assaults

and would experience ptsd;


and paradoxally some of my adult sexual assaults


are for lack of a better term

"less" traumatic

according to the criminal code


any comments...
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Posted by danusia007   in MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY
December 6 2002 a marker

December 6 2006 a marker on the stage

December 6 2008 an assault

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Posted by danusia007   in PROFILE, MY STORY, My Family SISTER, My Family OLDER BROTHER Perp and Victim, My Family NEPHEW, My Family MOM the delimna perp and survivor, My Family I salute my brother
REMINDER OF TRIGGER WARNINGS

this is still in progress ...

My birth Dad's dad takes mom to hospital because Dad is unavailable

My Big brother's first birthday I am 1 month old

My first christmas I am age 2 months I am holding a toy doll as my mom holds me.


I am in photo's for cousin's birth I am age 3 months


My family...
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context

26 June 2007
Posted by danusia007   in CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES support, My Family I salute my brother, My Family MOM the delimna perp and survivor, My Family NEPHEW, My Family SISTER, MY HEALING CIRCLE sometimes a friend, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, support
May

sis anni
aunt anni
perp's death

Nephew and Mom

laptop problems

June

ultrasound
Nephew
train tracks near miss

July

friend anni
bros cancer
Worker's death
illness
laptop problems

Aug

legalaties

Sept

tribunal

laptop prob

Oct

Cat Scan
Mri
Nephew
aunt anni

Nov

stalker on bus
Dad and nephew
tribunal

Dec

worker's...
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Posted by danusia007   in MY STORY
a list in progress started feb 3 before my laptop crashed



Mega trigger warnings











Grandpa (Dad's dad) age 3 ... age 4 ... baby sister's birthday baby.... brother's birthday


Uncle age 4 ...age 15 family reunion
Uncle... age 2 ... age 3 ... age 15 family reunion
Uncle... age 15 family reunion
Cousin before age 13 ......
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Posted by danusia007   in My Family I salute my brother, My Family MOM the delimna perp and survivor, MY HEALING CIRCLE, MY STORY, My Family OLDER BROTHER Perp and Victim, My Family SISTER, MY HEALING CIRCLE sometimes a friend
unresolved grief major trigger warnings






my mom's mom age 3 I named her as a victim of violence in 2001

aunt on dad's side age 4 breast cancer triggerered 1991

my dad's mom age 7 she should be named as a victim of violence

my godmother age 11 - 12 cancer

my dad's dad age 13 ??? PERP

my older brother age 21 self...
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About my blog

This is basically my space to spill out everything I'm thinking and feeling.

Please note that some of the content here may be triggering.

What I write here is just me being honest with myself. Mostly just venting about things, realisations, and my path through healing.

There will be talk of CSA, SA, R, SI and ED here.

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