Pandora's Aquarium: danusia007's Blog - Pandora's Aquarium

Jump to content

Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.

You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.

Guest Message © 2013 DevFuse

danusia007 and usspandora like this
Posted by danusia007   in career and COLLEGE, CLINICAL SERVICES housing, MY RAPIST
August 11 2007




Babe: Yo' Babe Hey Babe

Darling

Love


Pet Sayings

Love You Lots

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 0 Comments

Posted by danusia007   in My Family MOM the delimna perp and survivor, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT
at least for a while.


I find their behaviour disturbing

it has been nine years of hide and seek


and their friends are still involved


my mom is behaving better than my rapist

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 1 Comments

Posted by danusia007   in MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY RAPIST, CLINICAL SERVICES support, CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., ACTIVIST, support
My Rapist and i were both active in our part of the community

now i find that to my disadvantage


her manipulation is far reaching

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 0 Comments

Posted by danusia007   in MY RAPIST, support
cleaning out items from previous anniversaries

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 0 Comments

Posted by danusia007   in MY HEALING CIRCLE, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT
I will be busy this weekend

there has been a lots of reminders for the last few weeks


yesterday though I saw a beautiful solid rainbow in the east


for some reason seeing the rainbow helped

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 1 Comments

Posted by danusia007   in CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES support, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, support
the group was for both counsellors and clients


the boundaries were pretty blurry


the group met in different locations



my rapist got to see my apartment


during one of the group meetings

less than a year later

we were dating


and the rapes started pretty early


no counselor I told considered them to be rapes

an advocate and my present...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 0 Comments

Posted by danusia007   in CLINICAL SERVICES support, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, REFLECTIONS, support
So about 9 years ago I was assaulted by my rapist


it was suppose to be a special day for me


she and a mutual friend assaulted me

during the community march

and then later my rapist assaulted me

when we were " alone "


my stalker was around however


and in 2008, the two of them show up at a community event


I have written a...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 1 Comments

Posted by danusia007   in My Family SISTER, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, support
that they continue to choose public events

that they do the assaults in pairs

that they attack especially I am vulnerable

that their actions speak louder than their coercion


again and again


see my story






to be continued

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 0 Comments

Posted by danusia007   in CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT
this post under construction


while i recover

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 0 Comments

My rapist's sister

11 December 2008
Posted by danusia007   in CLINICAL SERVICES housing, My Family I salute my brother, My Family MOM the delimna perp and survivor, My Family NEPHEW, My Family SISTER, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, REFLECTIONS, support
it is strange when you date someone

and you spend time with their family

I enjoyed the time i spent with my rapist's sister


i have written about what it would have been like

if my rapist had met my family

or if my rapist's sister had met my familyy

my rapist never did meet my sister

my rapist's sister stayed at my place

my...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 0 Comments

Community event

04 December 2008
Posted by danusia007   in career MY CAREER, CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES support, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT
I was at a community event last night



no stalker !!!!!

no rapist !


I had memories of my old life

the event was held where I used to work


I also attended a number of community events with my rapist there in the past

the dinner was okay


I ENJOYED the dancing

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 0 Comments

anniversary packed month !

12 November 2008
Posted by danusia007   in MY RAPIST
I have yet to explain why

with november being packed

with childhood anniversaries and family anniversaries


that this month is megaz packed with anniversaries about my rapist



no wonder I am exhausted !!!!!!!

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 1 Comments

If I am being raped ?

29 October 2008
Posted by danusia007   in MY RAPIST
One of my wendo instructors suggested saying this when you are being assaulted



you are raping me !!!!!

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 0 Comments

Posted by danusia007   in My Family OLDER BROTHER Perp and Victim, MY HEALING CIRCLE, MY HEALING CIRCLE sometimes a friend, MY RAPIST, MY STORY
last weekend I flooded with memories

about both

my older brother


and my rapist,


this is the time of year for memories


and trying to belong

even if just on the fringes

of one of my "communities "


2 of my workers are still behaving abusive

and denying their conduct

I am refusing to behave

in their game playing and...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 0 Comments

Top 10 comments plus

17 June 2008
Posted by danusia007   in CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES support, My Family I salute my brother, My Family MOM the delimna perp and survivor, My Family NEPHEW, My Family OLDER BROTHER Perp and Victim, My Family SISTER, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY, REFLECTIONS, support
if you don't want to drive the car, dont reve the engine

- a message to my rapist from my t,

it did not deal with the pressuring by her around sex


you deserve (fill in the blank) various comments by a CSA/partner abuse counseller


you are a good person - repeatedly said by a counsellor who protects both my stalker and rapist


its not...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 0 Comments

Posted by danusia007   in MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY RAPIST, CLINICAL SERVICES support, CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., ACTIVIST, MY STORY
There is a conspirancy of silence

hidden behind a wall


of silence




do not tell what happen

we do not want to hear

do not write about what happen

we do not want to see

we do not want others

to know

that you were raped here

by one of our clients

we do not want others

to know

that a rapist

attends our agency

we do not want...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 2 Comments

Posted by danusia007   in MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY RAPIST, CLINICAL SERVICES support, CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., ACTIVIST, REFLECTIONS
I think that some of my rapist's clothes ended up in the donation bags. hmmm ?

I do need the closet space.

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 0 Comments

Posted by danusia007   in MY RAPIST, MY HEALING CIRCLE my books, career and UNIVERSITY, ACTIVIST, MY STORY
As a child, I was gang raped by relatives at birthday parties

In high school, I was at a party where a classmate was gang raped.

In university, my perps acted in pairs, covering for each other.

My abusive boyfriend was one of these types of perps.

My rapist is different from him.

She is the only perp in my adulthood

to rape me vaginally with...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 0 Comments

Posted by danusia007   in CLINICAL SERVICES health serv..., CLINICAL SERVICES housing, CLINICAL SERVICES support, MY HEALING CIRCLE sometimes a friend, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY, REFLECTIONS
how could they rape me ?

how could they assault me ?

how could they steal from me ?


how could they harass me ?


and how can the professionals turn away and deny ?


I had a mutual friend ask me these questions ?

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 1 Comments

Posted by danusia007   in CLINICAL SERVICES support, MY RAPIST, MY STALKER AND ASSAILANT, MY STORY, REFLECTIONS
I have been advised that my rapist will be at the same location as me for nine weeks.

This is an uneccessary stress in addition to a number of other stressors.

The anxiety is coming out at night.

I am destracting myself during the day.

Tags: My Rapist what was that look about ?

Icon 0 Comments

danusia007 and usspandora like this

Back to blog home →
  • 2 Pages +
  • 1
  • 2

About my blog

This is basically my space to spill out everything I'm thinking and feeling.

Please note that some of the content here may be triggering.

What I write here is just me being honest with myself. Mostly just venting about things, realisations, and my path through healing.

There will be talk of CSA, SA, R, SI and ED here.

Recent Entries

Recent Comments


Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.