Pandora's Aquarium: the two thousand year stare - Pandora's Aquarium

Jump to content

Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.

You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.

Guest Message © 2013 DevFuse

 
Posted by indigo_rainbow  
My ED and urges to SI are taking me over today. An alter really wants to hurt our body but I can't let her. I don't even want to sleep because I'm afraid I'll be different or switch when I wake up and she'll hurt us. I'm struggling but I don't have therapy again until Monday. I'm trying to go through the list of...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: PTSD, dissociation, mental illness, emotions, DID, MPD

Icon 0 Comments

another "episode"

11 September 2011
Posted by indigo_rainbow  
I'm in the midst of a another dissociative episode. I am passing as fine on the outside but inside I am scared and confused. I couldn't talk about it to my partner today. I know that he wants more sex with me but I just can't do it. D: How do I tell him for the millionth time that I am a scared little girl inside who needs his support?...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: dissociation, PTSD, mental illness, disability, psychology, emotions

Icon 0 Comments

had a night terror

05 September 2011
Posted by indigo_rainbow  
Now I am afraid to go to sleep again. It was like being r*ped and I was frozen in my bed. I feel this horrible blackness inside me and I want to hide forever. I have been avoiding people and I feel dissociated and scared all the time. Nothing feels real. D:

Tags: PTSD, dissociation, emotions

Icon 0 Comments

not feeling safe

20 August 2011
Posted by indigo_rainbow  
I am shaky and my stomach is sick. I feel as if one of my abusers is right in my face and I smell him there. Then I feel another one push me against the green couch and I want to throw up. I managed to take a shower today but that was not enough to make me feel "here" and awake.

I feel ~not here~ so much. I hate hate hate this. I feel...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: SI, SA, sadness, abuse, rape, emotions, PTSD, dissociation, mental illness

Icon 1 Comments

Posted by indigo_rainbow  
Emily Dickinson wrote "there is a pain so utter, it swallows substance up." Although I do not know if she meant that to refer to the pain of abuse, it describes the anguish in my heart. I am in deep mourning. I have survived physical, emotional, and sexual abuse and rape in my life, all before the age of 19. I am now 21, unable to work...
Read Full Entry →

Tags: abuse, rape, emotions, telling, PTSD, dissociation

Icon 0 Comments

 
Back to blog home →
Page 1 of 1

← May 2013 →

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
192021 22 232425
262728293031 

Recent Entries

My Blog Links

Mark Blog as read
Archive

Recent Comments

Categories


Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.