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Reach For The Morning


Catching Up To Reality

Posted by SkyAtNight , in Triggers, Beyond 08 August 2011 · 52 views

May be triggering

The last time I saw my father was 1989. He was a meat cutter/butcher and strong enough to lift a side of beef.

I wish I could imagine my father as weakened by age. He is 74 years old now. I have no idea what he is like now. In my head, he is still bigger than me and standing right behind me. If I yell or move, it feels like he will s...


Evolution of thought

Posted by SkyAtNight , in Triggers, Uncategorized 28 July 2011 · 30 views

Could be triggering...

Putting the shame where it belongs...

My girl loves him. I think she actually loved her father. He demanded love and respect. She complied. He was excited by control and torture. He liked having all the power and reducing my girl to a collection of masterbation holes and pain. He sexualized her so young. She didn't understand...


Two parts struggling at the same time

Posted by SkyAtNight , in Uncategorized, Triggers 06 May 2011 · 24 views


I have two parts struggling with inter-related issues. They are having flashbacks that include mutilation with his sharp knife. I have never really told her about the knife injuries. Parts may have but it is all getting more and more real to me. It is terrifying.

I can feel a thumb press my windpipe shut. It happens really...


Cleaning Up Other People's Messes

Posted by SkyAtNight , in Work, Triggers 05 May 2011 · 32 views

It was so nice to have some peace this morning. The Thursday meeting was tough but I was listening while I was trying to remain in a safe space. I was able to stay insulated from the punishing school counselor by focusing on things she was doing I could support. 

Then the conversation turned to a student that was not on the agenda. Evidently, his teacher...


Where Is The Off Switch?!

Posted by SkyAtNight , in Triggers, Uncategorized 24 April 2011 · 25 views

I am disappointed and angry.

I was convinced that by this afternoon, I would not be experiencing the intense urge to escape but I was wrong. It feels like I dove into a deep pool and it is taking a long time to resurface. I need to escape the same way I need to break the surface and get some air.

I am so angry than I can't find the off switch. As th...


On The Anxious Train, Next Stop ?

Posted by SkyAtNight , in Uncategorized, Triggers 23 April 2011 · 21 views

I was watching Harry Potter and doing laundry. My spouse wanted the volume up on the tv. I don't know why but I got very anxious and cramped up.
There is one thing that I know is freaking me a bit.
I am going to Cirque du Soleil tonight. When I got the tickets, I just knew it was going to be in a city. I did not know that it would be three blocks from...


Simple Things Gone Wild

Posted by SkyAtNight , in Triggers, Uncategorized 21 April 2011 · 25 views

I keep trying to be flashback free but it is not happening for me. There are so many things I attempt to let blow over. I just duck my head and hope it will be short.  I hope it will not be as bad as last time. I hope that it will not seem as real. I hope it is not real. D$&!, I just hope.

I hate getting my hair cut and styled. More than tha...

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