Pandora's Aquarium: Seanna's Life - Pandora's Aquarium

Jump to content

Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.

You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.

Guest Message © 2013 DevFuse

Seanna likes this

I hate spring

17 February 2013
Posted by Seanna   in TRIGGERING, FLASH-BACKS, MEMORY, SELF LOATHE
spring is that season of dread. I can smell the old dead leaves left from the fall. The crispness of the cold air mixing with the mud. The temperature is too cold to go without a coat, but maybe to run into a store it'll be ok without one.


The color of the sky. that white/gray color at all times. even on sunny days. it reminds me of...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

Posted by Seanna   in FLASH-BACKS, MEMORY, POETRY, STORY, TRIGGERING
THE BOAT

[i][font="Palatino Linotype"]Wrists bound together, Up over my head
Tied to the Table as a makeshift bed.
A Knock at the door, Some whispering I hear
An Officer Enters, Show of relief through a tear.

I plead for his help, To untie me to be free,
He removes his hat & credentials and places them on top of the TV.
My...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 1 Comments

Posted by Seanna   in FLASH-BACKS, MEMORY, POETRY, STORY, TRIGGERING
THE TABLE

[font="Palatino Linotype"][i]The blindfold removed, I could now see
You bound my wrists together, I'd struggle, but would never be free.

The belt used was brown, with a light leather braid
The coffetable I was tied to Completely vulnerable and afraid.

Arms tied above my head, Tears sstreaming down my...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

My own therapy recap

03 June 2011
Posted by Seanna   in MEMORY, T SESSION, TRIGGERING
Since Therapy on Wednesday, I just can't stop thinking about my new memory.
I can still feel the belt around my wrists, holding me to the coffee table. I can feel my legs tied apart.
I remember the relief I felt when I saw the police. Then the heart sinking dread when I realized he wasn't there to help me.
The humiliation when I realized...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

Posted by Seanna   in FLASH-BACKS, MEMORY, POETRY, TRIGGERING
I don't remember, the last time.
nor the second, third or fourth.
I only remember the first time
Attempts to take me from this earth.

You held my face over fire
You choked me with your hands
You drowned me in the bath-tub
Because I wouldn't give in to your demands.

Those memories are jumbled
I hardly remember at all
Like that one time...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

POETRY: Isolation

08 May 2011
Posted by Seanna   in FLASH-BACKS, MEMORY, STORY, TRIGGERING
Part of my story (I do best with poetry)

:trigger: :trigger: :trigger:

Alone in a room, I exhaustedly sigh
Emotions are numb, does no good to cry.
Staring in shock of the eyvents of the day
To make it out alive is all I can pray.

afraid to close my eyes to sleep
The wounds I survived are starting to sewep
Nowhere to run, nowhere to...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

Posted by Seanna   in TRIGGERING, POETRY, MEMORY, FLASH-BACKS, Uncategorized
He's no longer with me, in a physical way.
The memories will stay with me until the end of my days.

Sound of a door locking
means his footsteps are near
heart flutters in panic
paralyzed with fear.

Pour him a drink, as the nightmare begins
Pleading quietly begging forgiveness of sins.
Silently whispering an dpleading to stop
Nobody...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

POETRY: Last Breath

07 May 2011
Posted by Seanna   in FLASH-BACKS, POETRY, MEMORY, STORY, TRIGGERING
LAST BREATH

"On Your Knees" they loudly direct
my tears and expression; easy to detect.
body shoved hard to the floor I kneel
Unable to stomach taht this is for real.

Head pushed under water, so cold I scream,
They're going to kill me; as that's what it seems.
Pulled back from the water and told to obey
Other words are...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

I'm fine; I always am

07 May 2011
Posted by Seanna   in TRIGGERING, STORY, MEMORY, FLASH-BACKS
"I'm Fine, I always am" is what I used to have to say outloud to him if I was crying from something he did to me. I still find myself saying it sometimes if someone asks me how I am. it makes me instantly sick...but It was so engraved into my head to say it on auto-pilot I say it still to this day.

"I'm Fine. I always...
Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

Seanna likes this
Back to blog home →
Page 1 of 1

← May 2013 →

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
192021 22 232425
262728293031 

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

My Blog Links

Mark Blog as read
Archive

Recent Comments


Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.