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mtma19's Blog



Posted by mtma19 , 21 April 2011 · 154 views

words can never express the emptiness i have in my heart. my soul feels like it has been snatched from my core being. i dnt know who i am i dnt know why im here. ive gotten to the point where i dnt mentally emotionally or physically thts i can continue to care for ava. wat good am i to her?????? im absoutely no use for them.

i dnt know how much more ha...


Daddy Why me?

Posted by mtma19 , 07 April 2011 · 114 views

:bawling: :bawling: I woke up in the middle of the night cring. I tossed and turned all night I have bad dreams horrible nightmares. all night I had body memories how to make me get sick. I just wanted to rest. all I wanted to do you sleep. why did you do this to me. why is it that I continue to blame myself over and over and over again? why me daddy? WH...


March 8, 2011 He will never win.

Posted by mtma19 , 08 March 2011 · 142 views

I loved life so much more than I do now! He took that from from me and that's not OK. I realized now that I am OK. I 'm the solider that he will never be!He won't win my battle because as far as I am concerned he won't ever!


Razor Sharks!

Posted by mtma19 , 03 March 2011 · 102 views

So going to a Razor Sharks game tonight! I don't even know what it is I just know it's some kind of basketball game. So hopefully I will have a good time seeing as to how I haven't slept in 27 hours and counting! I should probably look up the site of Razor Sharks so I at least know who I am cheering for lol! Maybe I will cheer for...


ZZZZzzzz,s..... are nice

Posted by mtma19 , 26 February 2011 · 141 views

I started the chat yesterday and I went in a little sad and came out smiling. I didn't think it would be that way. I slept great last night. Full 6 hours and that's good for me considering I don't sleep well if at all at night. I'm proud that I was able to talk about thins I never really talk about. Thank you my Pandy friends!!!


2nd Box of Tissues and Counting!

Posted by mtma19 , 25 February 2011 · 50 views

I've been a bit sad these past couple of days. I'm not exactly sure why. My mind is under a lot of pressure. I haven't told any of my family that I have been feeling like this yet. I'm not sure I plan too. Just a lot going on in my head and I don't think that I should have gone off of my medication. It helps me from feeling even worse....


New day same feeling!

Posted by mtma19 , 22 February 2011 · 47 views

I've been a little sad ever since yesterday evening. I have an idea why but I'm trying to change it so that way I'm a pleasure to be around. No one wants to be with any one who is miserable. I stared a journal today. I thought maybe to help the way that I have been feeling lately I could find a quote online about my situation then write how I...



Posted by mtma19 , 20 February 2011 · 53 views

I am so annoyed right now. I don't know why. I just want to ne alone is that to much to ask for?


Life For me!

Posted by mtma19 , 20 February 2011 · 58 views

Everyone has their up and down days! This is certainly not a good day! I'm just tired and need some me time! I don't think I will get that at the moment though! I'm always needed for something. It's nice to feel needed but at the same time if your not healthy and feeling down how on earth can you possibly help someone else...


Millionaires WHY?

Posted by mtma19 , 19 February 2011 · 56 views

I wonder why there are so many homeless and hungry families when we have millions of dollars flowing around??? These celebrities (humans) have millions of dollars and yet the goverment says theres not enough funding for this or for that. Theres absoulty NO EXCUSE for the over half the world to be in poverty. I'm not saying that the people who give are...

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