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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
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niki likes this

Bad thoughts

26 November 2012
Posted by niki  
So for the past few weeks I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts again. I thought I would be able to get past them and move on but it seems to be getting worse. I don't want to tell my therapist because I feel like a failure having to go through this all over again. I'm just scared and I want to be better and get over this....
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Difficult past few days

18 November 2012
Posted by niki  
I've been having such a hard time these past few days. I'm not even sure why everything has hit me so hard...the big dates are a few weeks away so they shouldn't be bothering me this much. I've just been having bad thoughts again lately and the nightmares are in full swing...so very frustrating! I don't have anyone here at...
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Dont know what to think

29 October 2012
Posted by niki  
My rapist committed suicide almost a year ago now. I've really been missing him lately. I know I shouldn't and I hate myself for it but i miss the way he made me smile. I miss falling asleep next to him and feeling safe. I miss the old him...the him before the rape. I dont know what to do and I dont know what to think about these feelings...
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Need some advice

09 July 2011
Posted by niki  
I just got a letter in the mail form the college i will be attending this fall...it said i needed to take a sexual assault class and a responsible drinking class before the fall. Both of which would take 3 hours online...i understand the drinking one but i REALLY dont want to take the sexual assault one. I dont think im ready to read all the...
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Whats in a name?

09 January 2011
Posted by niki  
Hearing his name anywhere is so incredibly hard! It doesn't have to be him...hearing the name associated to anyone makes me cringe! yesterday it was my cashiers name and today I saw it written out on a commercial...twice!. I know its something extremely small but some how it still has a large affect on me and makes everything seem...
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Dont know what to do...

06 January 2011
Posted by niki  
I told my other best friend today what I went through…it was extremely difficult but I felt better after telling her at the time. Now I’m starting to regret telling her, not because she took it the wrong way, she is an amazing friend! but because I don’t want to be a burden to her…I don’t want anyone to worry about me or feel sorry for me. ...
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Frustrated

04 January 2011
Posted by niki  
So i have a month off for winter break, which means a month away from him and him stalking me at school. i thought this would be easier and give me time to actually start healing but its not. He still is constantly texting nasty things...I have not seen his car in my neighborhood lately but that doesn't mean he hasn't been here. It...
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Anniversary

31 December 2010
Posted by niki  
Tonight is the 9 month anni since i was 'r'...It being new years eve makes everything harder!
Anyone else count the months since that night or is it just my minds weird way of thinking??

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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.