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tjmom726's Blog


Having No Voice

Posted by tjmom726 , 24 April 2011 · 64 views

As a child I felt I had no voice. I would try to tell someone, Anyone that would listen what I was facing each day and night, but no one came. No one protected me. The teachers I told felt bad for me. The friends I told kept their silence for they didn't know what to make of me. My mother didn't help for she was part of the problem. My aunts and u...


no voice

Posted by tjmom726 , 10 April 2011 · 54 views

for many years i had no voice. I didn't matter in the world. i am there again. 8 people against me. including my husband. They all want to move to another state. I don't want to go. I don't have a say. If I fight, I lose because i am known as the selfish one. if I don't fight, I lose myself.

I have a life here. I have a beautiful home. I...


To tell or not to tell?

Posted by tjmom726 , 02 February 2011 · 58 views

I have a new friend. She is not someone that I am supposed to be friends with. But I am friends with her. She has been kind to me. She has opened her heart up a little to me. I have only known her for a few months, but I am hooked. She I didn't know why I felt so bonded with her, but I do now.
For the past few weeks, my head is filled with chatter. I...


The Day My Father Died

Posted by tjmom726 , 21 January 2011 · 56 views

On January 28, 1991, my father died from suicide. I was the last person to talk to him. During our phone conversation, he begged me to help him get him back together with my mom. Because I was 16 at the time, I felt it was not up to me. I felt he had done wrong by sexually abusing me and my mother and he just could not live in the same house anymore. He s...


Anything For Love?

Posted by tjmom726 , 16 January 2011 · 52 views

I am wondering tonight how much people who were not wounded like we all were handle all of our memories and emotions. I sometimes express how much I care for people, and they don't have it in them to love me back. I know I am fine with that, it is just hard for me to understand why. I often wonder what else I can do to get that person to love me. I wo...


Why Do We Bother?

Posted by tjmom726 , 16 January 2011 · 53 views

I was feeling badly yesterday. I was in and out of flashbacks. I was having physical memories along with emotional ones. I was mad, scared, confused, and alone in my head. I reached out to a few people and received some comfort, but not enough. I went to bed exhausted and feeling betrayed. I try to help so many and yet, when I need help, or think I need h...


random thoughts

Posted by tjmom726 , 11 January 2011 · 77 views

For years I wanted to go unnoticed. I wanted to hide behind the mask of abuse. I wanted to keep the shame hidden deep inside, but now I want to expose it for what it is. I am so tired of feeling like I burden people with the truth. People are so quick to talk about a death in the family or a tragedy. But it is still considered taboo to talk about someone...


The Good Stuff

Posted by tjmom726 , 06 January 2011 · 34 views

My son today told me that I should get a better job that makes more money. My reply to him was that I did have a good job that paid money, but I quit that job to be with you more. He then told me that I left him with his grandmother all the time. (now, I brought him to his grandmother's from 8:00 am until 3:00 pm and he cried each day when I had to pi...


An aha moment

Posted by tjmom726 , 04 January 2011 · 58 views

While searching my brain for answers to questions that aren't out there, I came upon a thought. lol. I am so busy trying to figure out my past that I am sometimes forgetting to live in the present. I have been trying to get people to love me and tell me so. I have been putting myself out there hoping that someone will find me worthy enough for their l...


What is Love?

Posted by tjmom726 , 03 January 2011 · 34 views

Love is committing to one person for the rest of your life before God

Love is letting go of who you were and becoming one with another

Love is a newborn resting on their motherís chest

Love is a father playing catch after a long day at work

Love is searching for the perfect birthday gift

Love is saying no to buying junk food at the store


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