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SomebodyLoveMe's Blog


mix up.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 15 September 2014 · 142 views

somewhere along the line, I believe there was some slight confusion. the wonderful guy I refer to as "my airman" is my brother, not a lover or spouse. but, my god, that guy is my entire world. our father killed himself when i was two and my brother was five. so this five year old little boy became the man of the house, and played the roll perfectly....


i need a better way to handle my problems.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 14 September 2014 · 166 views

after dealing with stress from the week and discussing my traumas earlier that day, i had a few drinks on friday. i thought i would just escape for the night, and deal with things better on saturday. that was a joke. even though i told myself i was going to take a hiatus from drinking (which has unfortunately become a seemingly regular thing), it didn't w...


medication question: lamictal.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 06 September 2014 · 208 views

has anyone else had a problem with hair loss while on lamictal?
my psychiatrist put me on it as a makeshift mood stabilizer, and my hair is basically falling out. she's had me on it, off of it and then back on it again, and during the hiatus I didn't seem to have this issue.


haven't been on lately.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 04 September 2014 · 137 views

I haven't been on here since august 27th, the fifth anniversary of the incident that brought me here.
it was already a hard day, but my chef uniform for my baking and pastry class made it absolute hell. it's an average chef uniform like all the ones I've worn before: coat, pants, hat, ugly nonslip shoes. but in this class we have to we...


august anniversary #1.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 24 August 2014 · 163 views

anniversaries are a bitch.
today, as of the wee hours of the morning, my dad has been dead for seventeen years.
i was only two, so all of this information is coming from my mom's account. he shot himself while he and my mom were fighting. it wasn't an "oh, i want to die." situation. it was more of a "fuck you!" manipulation technique. so I...


any advice?

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 17 August 2014 · 208 views

I start college tomorrow, and frankly, i'm terrified.
if anyone has advice, tips to make life easier or words of encouragement, I wouldn't mind hearing it.
I actually bought dr. suess folders this year for two reasons: one being that you're never too old for dr. suess. the other is that they have cute little quotes that seem like they...


my way of coping.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 14 August 2014 · 125 views

I've been having a pretty rough day, but there's nothing to distract me quite like throwing myself into my work. not too long ago I posted about food being my escape from the real world, and I've been posting about a tea party i'm catering for Monday. unfortunately, I start college Monday, so I was supposed to make everything sunday night. well now my pre...


having graphic flashbacks.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 13 August 2014 · 116 views

{trigger warning.}
i'll never forget the suspicion that something wasn't right, but i foolishly stifled my intuition.
i'll never forget the look in his eyes. they were dark and empty, like there was no soul behind them.
i'll never forget the sadistic smile on his face, enjoying watching me suffer.
i'll never forget the feeling of his hand around...


my airman.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 12 August 2014 · 145 views

oh, god, my airman. we got a call last night. he's having a crisis. physically, it's gonna be okay, but psychologically, he's not doing good. at all. I've always been the unstable one and he's always been the strong one for me. it's my turn to shape up and return the favor. I just want to fly across the world and give him a hug. and build a blanket fort w...


inside my head.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 11 August 2014 · 107 views

geez. one week from today, i'll be starting college. i went and got my books, located all my classes, figured out parking, and practiced getting from home to there and from there back home. and guess what? both years will be 100% covered by grants and scholarships. no loans for me. but it's scary. i haven't been to a traditional school since the sixt...

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