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Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
Okay, so is everything that we do, how we live is it a reflection of our past? It would seem as though it is, and I am not saying that is bad necessarily because it made us stronger. We are better for it because we know real pain, I would think that one would be more compassionate, empathetic, and caring if they have went through the pain we have....
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Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
I know that he did, I remember him doing things. I think that I try to wish it away, I want to think that I am wrong. I want to tell myself that I am wrong because here I am having a relationship with him, how could I after what he did. It is like I am saying that it is okay, what he did. My sister resents me because I treat him good, she resents...
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Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
I hate the way I handle things sometimes. I know that what my father did when I was younger was because of the way I am. I was so very passive when I was younger, scared to death to make anyone angry, cause anymore problems than I already had, and I know that it was obvious, it made me an easy target, I guess. I am still like that. I am still the...
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Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
Guess, it is just time to go there again. Need to try to deal with the emotions and reality of it once again, off and on it comes. It has been off for a while, guess it is time again.

It is easy to not think about it, to minimize it, to still sometimes wonder if maybe, possibly I have it all wrong. Maybe it was not all that bad, but then looking...
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Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
Well, I have my bad times. But, in all reality, it is not that bad. I sometimes will read my past blog entries, and though it can be very triggering and difficult, I realize that it has gotten better. Maybe I should stop complaining, feeling sorry for myself. I went ahead and made an appointment to start therapy again. I have some things that I...
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Depressed

01 March 2012
Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
Wow, I will be going on doing so well (at least it seems) and then something will trigger it, and it will all come back up again bothering me. I am feeling really depressed right now. It makes me so sad that I don't think I will ever get what I need. What I need, that is the question, I think that I know what I long for, but then again, maybe...
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Wish I could go to therapy

02 October 2011
Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
How do I get help when my children, my life takes all of my time,energy, and money?! How do I seek it. I have been to two different therapists, who have both helped me. I have had to stop two different times because of money. I still need help though, I just don't know how to get it. I have so many underlying problems that I can hide...
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Even though...

02 August 2011
Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
Even though I have posted the fact that I wish that I was normal, and that I sometimes really wish things were different, that I was different, that I could somehow change this thinking, even though I am tired of it all, it is going to be okay. I will continue on. I am okay. I can look at myself, and in reality think, "No, you're not, I...
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Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
I am driving myself nuts. Most of the time I can live my so called life the way it is and be happy, but then there are those other times. The times when reality slaps me across the face, and I realize how very screwed up I am. Oh, how I wish I could be normal. Of course normal is a relative term, what is normal. Well, normal to me is being able to...
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Feel sad and beaten

01 June 2011
Posted by ChristineMarie   in Memories, Pain, Thoughts all ...
Well, here I am with all this time on my hands and I am already feeling very down and thinking about things again. It has only been a couple of weeks since summer break started (I work at a school) and already having a rough time.

Today, I feel very sad and beaten, I give up. I have wrote this in many posts before, 'I give up' but I am...
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The Kelsey Briggs Story

Child Abuse Casts a Shadow the Length of a Lifetime

~Herbert Ward~

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RAINN

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