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In my head



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And ur a Doctor?

Posted by lostinsideofme , in My Stories 24 September 2011 · 81 views

Ok so where to begin...


So I take my kids to the doctors yesterday morning, after working a 16hour shift and being up for a total of 20something hours.

I sit there with the two of them aggravating each other, waiting for over an hour for the doctor, even though this was the first appointment of the day...

When the doc finally comes in, i tell her all...


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Mistake

Posted by lostinsideofme , in My Stories 14 June 2011 · 58 views

Sunday, I think I made the biggest mistake of my life. I broke down for some reason. I was drunk and in my mind I had to call him. I dont know why, but it was almost as if old habits were falling into place. So I called him. He came over. :cry: and then he left.

I hate myself. I didn't even care for me. Stayed just long enough, then ran.


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Saturday

Posted by lostinsideofme , in My Stories 29 August 2009 · 62 views

There was a night when I was having fun, a little too much fun. I decided to smoke some weed and drink. I felt fine, walking around talking, laughing everything, even after 5 wine coolers, 10 shots, and a blunt. Then about 15 minutes after that last shot, it hit me, and hard. I got sick everywhere. I could barely even hold my own head up... This was t...


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DIRTY

Posted by lostinsideofme , in My Stories 28 June 2009 · 77 views

I feel so damn dirty. I don't even deserve to cry. I knew what I was doing. I just couldn't stop it. I don't even know where to begin this. I guess i'll just ramble until I find out.

I've been feeling really lonely and self destructive lately. Like really destructive. I'm sort of running out of destructive things to do, so I...


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That Bastard-The Beginning

Posted by lostinsideofme , in My Stories 16 June 2009 · 65 views

May 10 2009, 10:31 PM

It happened when i was 15, but i know thats not when he first thought about it. Since i was 12 he was infatuated. My aunt was just getting serious with him, so he was around alot. He always seemed skeevy, but it was never him i worried about. He told me that he knew we would be together when he saw me playing in the playground...


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In the woods

Posted by lostinsideofme , in My Stories 14 June 2009 · 54 views

I was in this summer program at my school and it was going great. Sorta. I mean a lot of kids made fun of me and I didn't have too many friends, but I still liked it, and I had the right amount. But this summer I guess I was SI'ing alot. One of the counselors saw one day (she was a cop), and she wanted to talk with me. I was scared. I said I h...


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Friend?

Posted by lostinsideofme , in My Stories 13 June 2009 · 60 views

I wonder, if you ask me to be your child's godmother, why then would you exclude me from her life. Granted it was before she was born, but why. Why is it that i'm the last to know whats going on with her. I'm the one excluded from the damn labor and delivery room. The last one to get notified that she was born. The last one to be notified...


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NO, i dont like older men, older men like me

Posted by lostinsideofme , in My Stories 03 June 2009 · 62 views

My "mom" makes jokes about what I went through, and asks me if I'm going out on a date with uncle. She will never let me forget even for a second (not that I could) the horrors I lived through. She thinks its funny. She thinks I must have wanted it, or else I was too stupid to say no, and to get away. Every time she jokes, I try like mad to...


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When I was 9

Posted by lostinsideofme , in My Stories 13 May 2009 · 61 views

Summer vacation is supposed to be fun. Mine wasn't. I remember taking a trip up north to visit with some family I'd never met. When is it ever ok for two your girls and two older boys to sleep in the same bed? My cousin had this game we played, I was his teddy bear and he liked to hug me. At first we used different blankets and he would just hu...





Guide to my world

I put up a general *TRIGGER WARNING* for all those who read. This is me being as real as I can get, trying not to hold back. Working through memories and life's challenges in the aftermath.

Contents:
Randomness tends to have the most content, but I warn you, it gets pretty random.

When I find more courage, My stories, will have more content. For now walk with my through my therapeutic adventures and rants.

School sucks, but at least its finally over.

Emotions, Memories are full of raw emotion.

Recently I've been Exploring My Sexuality

Welcome to my world.~lost~

What I'm Pondering

How do you overcome something that has been ingrained in you? Is it possible, or is it like fighting against your genes?

How on earth do turkeys get their fat asses in the air?

If I evolved from a primate, how come I've forgotten how to climb a tree?

Who can fry an egg on a sidewalk? I can barely fry an egg in a pan.

April 2016

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