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In my head



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Sad

Posted by lostinsideofme , in Emotions 19 July 2013 · 66 views

I'm sad... Can't seem to shake it. I've having a hard time just trying to do me. Because I'm fighting me. I see my goals ahead, not to far away and yet i'm stuck. Stuck in the same place I was way back when. And its tru, I wish it wasn't now. I wish it was then. Back when I was happy. Back when I still resembled me.


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I'm Throwing in the Towel

Posted by lostinsideofme , in Emotions 28 September 2011 · 53 views

I'm done. I give. You can take me. I don't want to be the Devils plaything. I'm done.

$135 citation for talking on my cell phone, despite the fact that I wasn't on my phone. Harassment from the officer who literally forced me into my car.

Then when I'm finally able to go I'm late to my drs appointment and the guy gave me a...


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Feelin Insecure

Posted by lostinsideofme , in Emotions 10 September 2011 · 58 views

I feel like I'm worth next to nothing right now. And insignificant, useless, piece of nothing.

Why should anyone bother talking to me, listening to me, paying me any kind of attention. I only say stupid things, that mean nothing. I don't have good ideas. And I do nothing but stupid things.

I'm don't want to talk anymore because it fall...


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when it rains

Posted by lostinsideofme , in Emotions 06 September 2011 · 44 views

When it rains it pours, when it pours it hurricanes, when it hurricanes it monsoons, and so on.

I don't know how much more of this I can take.

My best friend came into down from LA and forgot to stop by and see me. :( A visit that i was actually looking forward too. And the absence of this visit made me realize a few things, that honestly I'm n...


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struggling

Posted by lostinsideofme , in Emotions 26 August 2011 · 41 views

I am having such a hard time right now and I can't put my finger on it. All I know is that I'm cycling between not sleepingat all and sleepin for 18+ hours a day. I'm so depressed and I have no energy I don't know what to do. Right now I'm glad for the lack of energy because I feelif I had more energy I might actually follow through w...


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scream and yell or hide and cry?

Posted by lostinsideofme , in Emotions 24 August 2011 · 53 views

I've spent so much of my life hiding my emotions, hiding from my emotions that I have no idea what to do with them. I can feel them causing so much chaos inside me I just don't know what they want from me. Do I scream or do I cry? My initial response is to SI or to grab a bottle of vodka. But I don't want to do that, its not helping anymore....


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i quit

Posted by lostinsideofme , in Emotions 20 August 2011 · 49 views

I'm done pretending everytbhing is ok. Done pretending that I don't fight the urge to seriously injur myself everyday. Done pretending I'm "normal". Done pretending that I want to continue living. Done with pretending.

:cry: please let it be ok for me to let this facade go. Its too heavy to hold :cry:


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What I'm feeling

Posted by lostinsideofme , in Emotions 16 August 2011 · 42 views

Currently I am :
angry,agitated, aggravated,annoyed, bitter, bothered, contemptuous, disappointed, disgusted, enraged, exasperated, frustrated, furious, hateful, hostile, impatient, irritated, jealous, mean, resentful, stubborn, touchy, pessimistic, provoked, vindictive, capable, caring, competent, creative, curious, innocent, involved, proud, self-relian...


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Pissed the F off

Posted by lostinsideofme , in Emotions 14 August 2011 · 47 views

FUCK YOU.... WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE THAT YOU GET TO TALK TO ME THAT WAY. AGAIN, FUCK YOU. YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER NOR MY FATHER AND EVEN IF YOU WERE I'D STILL SAY FUCK YOU.

You don't get to silence me. You don't get to tell me I can't say things. You don't get to reprimand me for bullshit that i have no control over. You don...


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Tired

Posted by lostinsideofme , in Emotions 11 August 2011 · 46 views

Why am I soo tired? I feel like no matter how much I sleep I'm tired. I can get 10, 8, 6, 4, 2 hours doesn't matter I'm equally as tired. I can't last more than 20 minutes without feeling like I need to fall asleep. I spend my whole day fighting to stay away and then at night I have to fight to go to sleep. I'm tired of this.

I'm...






Guide to my world

I put up a general *TRIGGER WARNING* for all those who read. This is me being as real as I can get, trying not to hold back. Working through memories and life's challenges in the aftermath.

Contents:
Randomness tends to have the most content, but I warn you, it gets pretty random.

When I find more courage, My stories, will have more content. For now walk with my through my therapeutic adventures and rants.

School sucks, but at least its finally over.

Emotions, Memories are full of raw emotion.

Recently I've been Exploring My Sexuality

Welcome to my world.~lost~

What I'm Pondering

How do you overcome something that has been ingrained in you? Is it possible, or is it like fighting against your genes?

How on earth do turkeys get their fat asses in the air?

If I evolved from a primate, how come I've forgotten how to climb a tree?

Who can fry an egg on a sidewalk? I can barely fry an egg in a pan.

February 2015

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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.