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In my head


FB- The lot

Posted by lostinsideofme , in Memories 29 September 2011 · 74 views

Sitting next to me in the car. Parked in a dark lot. I can hear myself thinking, why are we here. Something bads going to happen. Instinctively I grab at the door. When you ask what i'm doing I say I'm just going to throw this in the trash. U lean across me,pulling the door shut. U look up at my with your head on my lap and I shut down. I knew...


when i was 9

Posted by lostinsideofme , in Memories 19 July 2011 · 88 views

AND then the nightmares came. I would wake up every night in terror. I so was so scared that there was a man trying to get into my bedroom through the window, and no matter how loud I yelled and screamed no one came to help me. for some reason the window was always open. I would have to rush to slam it and lock it, but he was so strong that it never seeme...



Posted by lostinsideofme , in Memories 12 July 2010 · 62 views

So lately things have been rough. Which has basically forced me to come back to this site (not sure I'm happy about returning). I've been so emotional lately and its just been building. then I stopped to think about why have i been feeling this way. Then it hits my, my supposed to be due date was a couple weeks ago. Barely acknowledged it on the o...


Thinking of him

Posted by lostinsideofme , in Memories 12 July 2009 · 66 views

I dont know why, but it seems that lately he's been in my mind daily. Maybe its because he called me about 5 times the week before the fourth of july and a few time on the fourth. I actually listened to the messages too, which was stupid of me. Now I just feel bad. I can sort of remember the fun times we had together. Going to the beach, taking my...


A good one?

Posted by lostinsideofme , in Memories 18 June 2009 · 101 views

I found a good one. I was talking to someone about crickets, yes crickets of all things and bam, it hit me. A good memory.

I remember in the *** grade there was this girl I hung out with. The only girl in my brand new class who didn't hate me and try to fight me or make me feel like shit. I'd go over to her house after school and just play. H...



Posted by lostinsideofme , in Memories 15 June 2009 · 74 views

I wish I had a better memory of what went on. I remember coming home from therapy, not planning anything more than to maybe hurt myself a little. Normal stuff. Somewhere between digging for my razor and finding it, another plan came to mind. I dont know what I was thinking. Well actually I'd been thinking about it for a while, dropping hints here...



Posted by lostinsideofme , in Memories 12 June 2009 · 69 views

I remember. I remember hiding in my bedroom closet in my moms house. I don't know why, but i know I climbed into my closet and hid under a shelf and put a bag of clothes in front of me. I was so far wedged in that corner. Who was I hiding from? I remember going there alot. I remember being sad when they took the shelf out because I had no where t...


Scared to sleep at night

Posted by lostinsideofme , in Memories 27 May 2009 · 76 views

Nightmares have been a part of me since i was little. Why is it that the same nightmares that scared the piss out of me when I was little are surfacing again? I see that same creepy man, dressed in the yellow fisherman's gear, in the pouring rain standing outside my window trying to break in. I feel the same fear I did when I was little. Only now...


Make the pain stop

Posted by lostinsideofme , in Memories 26 May 2009 · 69 views

My stomach hurts. I wish the pain would just stop. I don't even know why its hurting, is it in my head or is it real? Either way its painful, emotionally and physically. My stomach feels like its being ripped and torn, and i keep flashing back and reliving bad memories. I need the pain to stop. I'm having a hard time just keeping myself presen...



Posted by lostinsideofme , in Memories 23 May 2009 · 75 views

My grandpa collected coins when he was in the war. Idk just something he did. He gave some coins to my dad to start his own collection, but he grew out of it and gave them all to me. I started collecting. Looking all over for coins, shining them up really nice. I even had a secret storage place for them. I had so much. Then one day when i came home fr...

Guide to my world

I put up a general *TRIGGER WARNING* for all those who read. This is me being as real as I can get, trying not to hold back. Working through memories and life's challenges in the aftermath.

Randomness tends to have the most content, but I warn you, it gets pretty random.

When I find more courage, My stories, will have more content. For now walk with my through my therapeutic adventures and rants.

School sucks, but at least its finally over.

Emotions, Memories are full of raw emotion.

Recently I've been Exploring My Sexuality

Welcome to my world.~lost~

What I'm Pondering

How do you overcome something that has been ingrained in you? Is it possible, or is it like fighting against your genes?

How on earth do turkeys get their fat asses in the air?

If I evolved from a primate, how come I've forgotten how to climb a tree?

Who can fry an egg on a sidewalk? I can barely fry an egg in a pan.

July 2016

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