Katy

Chat Room Etiquette

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Chat Room Etiquette

Since we have re-opened the chat room, we have to applaud all for helping to return the chat room to a place which is generally conducive to the supportive and healing environment we would like to maintain at Pandys. Thank you all for helping us achieve that. This is a general notice to educate new chatters about the way we like to treat each other in the chat room, and to serve as a reminder to existing chatters. We hope you find it helpful :)

As you are aware, we have chat room guidelines which incorporate the general rules and regulations that you should adhere to if you are using the chat room. However, in many ways, what is the most important thing is ensuring that we treat each other with dignity and respect. When the room is busy, or if we are upset or tired, it can sometimes be all to easy to let these things fall by the wayside. So - please try to remember that at Pandy's we have to strive to ensure that everyone has the opportunity to have a voice, and that we all try to hear that voice, no matter how quiet it may be.

Be Welcoming to Everyone:

It takes no effort to say a simple "hi" to someone as they enter the room - and yet, on occasion, this is still not happening. It is important to welcome whoever it is that enters the room, whether it is someone who is new to the room or someone who frequents the room all the time. If someone is new to the room it is also nice to take the time to welcome them to Pandy's and make them feel like this is somewhere where they can belong.

Show you care:

We have all been through horrible experiences that have left us feeling alone, isolated, scared, afraid, sad, angry.....or everything all at once! Many of us have relied on the members at Pandy's when we have needed support, or someone to listen , or someone to just show us they care by giving us a hug. The flip side of this is that, when we are feeling able, we have to give support to others as well. If you notice someone being quiet or not engaging in the conversation, take the time to check up on how they are. If someone is talking about a healing subject do not interrupt or belittle their issue by jumping around the chat room and playing games with someone else. If someone is having a hard time, showing or telling someone that you care can make all the difference.

Listen to each other:

If someone is talking about a particular issue they are having, try to make some response to let them know that you are listening. You can do this by just telling them you are listening, or giving them a hug, or letting them know that you understand. Try not to have multiple issues being discussed in the room at the same time. If you have an issue you wish to discuss and someone is already talking, just let the room know that when X has finished talking you also have something you would like to talk about. If you enter a room, take a moment to check out whether a healing conversation is already in progress - and if so, wait your turn. There is plenty of time for everyone to have their say.

Be respectful of others

We are all at different stages in our healing and have different triggers, and so what we are prepared and able to listen to is different for all of us. Do not talk about anything which is particularly graphic or descriptive in the room - and if you are not sure, err on the side of caution and discuss it on the board instead. If you are going to discuss something which may be triggering to some, ensure you warn the room first, so that people who do not feel they are in a place where they can safely listen to a triggery subject have the option to leave first. Do not try to bypass the chat filter by using clever spelling or ** as it does not take away from the content of the word which may upset or trigger other chatters - the chat filter is there for a reason.

If you have a disagreement with someone in the room, try not to drag the rest of the room into your disagreement, and if you feel you need to discuss the issue with this member, then do so through PMs on the board. Under no circumstances (whether it is because you are annoyed at someone or worried about someone) should you talk about another member in the room when they are not there. We're sure that you wouldn't like to be talked about in the same way!

Do not engage in fights or public disagreements with other members. We are all adults here, there is simply no need at all for this kind of behaviour. As stated above, you can try to resolve the issue privately and respectfully with the member via a PM on the board (not in chat!). If you don't believe this is possible, you can change rooms to a different chat room, or log out of chat and come back in a little while when the member you have an issue with is gone. If another member has not followed the board or chat guidelines in the chat room, we strongly encourage you to contact a chat moderator to let them know of what happened (including the approximate time and date of which it happened). If somebody has upset you by breaking a guideline, please manage your reaction to this and let the chat moderators know so they can handle it - rather than taking it upon yourself to have a fight in the chat room and increase the drama.

Try to have a voice:

The room is a "chat room" and as such, it is designed for members to interact with each other. We understand that there will be days when you don't want to talk much - and that is okay - but try to at least interact a little in regards to saying hello and goodbye when people enter and leave the room. It may help to tell the room that you are not feeling very chatty, but that you just want to hang out. If you feel afraid or sad (or whatever the emotion) try to say "I feel sad today" rather than telling the room you are hiding in a corner. It is so important that we all find our voices and learn to express how we feel appropriately - and very often, "hiding" or using emoticons over and over again does not always allow others in the room to understand how you are feeling.

Moderated Topic Chats

Every month we have several moderated topic chats. These chats offer members an opportunity to discuss specific topics in greater detail than is possible in open chats. For these chats be beneficial please be mindful to try and stay on topic.

If you are unable to remain focussed on the topic, or you need to discuss other issues, please excuse yourself from the Topic Chat Room and enter either the Healing or General Chat Rooms. If the Chat Moderator notices you going off-topic they may ask you to stay on topic. If you consistently go off-topic, you will be asked to leave the topic chat. Thank-you for helping to make topic chats a healing and beneficial experience to all those who participate.

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i am interested as a new member to see how the chat can help me..........

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I am also interested to see how chat works and how it can help.

Kristgen

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Hi Kristgen,

I hope you find chat to be helpful! You can read here in the chat guidelines what the process is for requesting access to be able to log in to the chat room - have a good read and then send one of the board moderators or chatterators a message with your answers to the 6 questions outlined at the start of the guidelines.

Take care,

Kate

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Joined the chat yesterday, so far I've had a good time, people have been very friendly. :)

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Hi Thundere, This is good to hear! :)

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I cant able to join in chats please help...

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 It is so important that we all find our voices and learn to express how we feel appropriately - and very often, "hiding" or using emoticons over and over again does not always allow others in the room to understand how you are feeling. I find i do this in real life when in groups with friends. Maybe being mindful of not doing this in the chat room will in some ways help me not do it in life.?Hopeful anyway.

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I agree. 

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Little unsure what I need to do to be able to get into chat? Probably a really stupid question. I'm sorry 

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3 hours ago, Forevergone said:

Little unsure what I need to do to be able to get into chat? Probably a really stupid question. I'm sorry 

Hi forevergone, not a stupid question at all. to get access to chat you have to be a member for a week and have 10 posts. 

you have to pm a Board mod or a Chaterator  and answer the questions listed below. Then they will be able to grant you access :) 

1) The date that you joined Pandy's.

2) The number of posts you have made.

3) That you have read and understood the chat room guidelines.

4) That you agree not to use the chat PM system unless its to talk directly to a chat moderator.

5) That you will remain respectful of all members and Pandy's staff members.

6. That you agree not to enter the chat room whilst you are "in crisis" which we define as being actively suicidal, actively self-harming or threatening to self-harm, in need of medical attention, or in need of police assistance.

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Is the chat room gone?   It is not showing up when I sign in.

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cool I can dig it

I thought so

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i have been a member for a long time but have not been active was wondering if I still get into the chat room thanks Ladynumberone

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@ladynumberone chat is currently unavailable to everyone on pandys due to a need to upgrade it. If you keep an eye on This thread  you will be able to see when the new chat is launched :) 

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I am interested in joining as a new member.

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2 hours ago, BWI said:

I am interested in joining as a new member.

Hi BWI,

if you take a look at this thread, you will see that there are a few requirements you need to meet before you can access chat: 

 

 

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