Lis

The pandy's insomnia club

220 posts in this topic

Thanks Sass!!!!!!!!!!!! Read all your post ! You Rock! Sorry I'm still here but continuing being upbeat? kekeke

Its 8.40am here now I am not a wee bit tired! Guess what I found some avatars and a beautiful quote to go with it!

I know .... Im driving myself crazy too! Mind if I take the passenger seat and you drive me to sleep? (That might work.... beats being crazy... :blink: !) :D

cantsleep_pillowtoowet.gif

sleepless_nights_tree.gif

"Cast me gently into morning, for the night has been unkind." - "Answer" by Sarah McLachlan

Enjoy Sleepless In Pandy's!

Adeline

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Ok, I am trying to get back into my regular sleeping routine again.

I am going to try starting to get up at 6:00am to get ready for school. How exactly is this going to work if I am still up at 3:00am??????

Ugh!!!!!!!! Me thinks it is time to maybe talk to my P. This is like the 3rd night in a row that I've taken my Ambien CR and am still up hours later.

I have no idea what it going on, but I can tell you this, I am tired of it. In fact I am just plain tired, I just don't think I can go to sleep.

fhtf

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Fhtf ~

I swear that I'm not playing tag with you or following you around this board. Sleep is an issue for me too! For my sleeping pills, I was advised that it would take a three weeks to a month to really get in the groove of them. When I first took them, I took a double dose and seven hours later... I went to bed. i was SOOOO frustrated. I continued to defy my sleeping pills and was prescribed three different kinds.

I think the stress and alertness deep down in our psyche is very powerful.

I bet once you get on that 6 a.m. wake up schedule, you will slowly adjust back to those hours. You will be exhausted from not getting enough sleep and may start passing out earlier and earlier every night? You never know.

I hope so, for your sake. I can say for me, I am uneasy about my sleeping habits/insomnia getting in the way of new responsibilities.

Hang in there...

:butterfly: Chocolate Sassafras :butterfly:

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Hello to anyone else awake this am! :oo:

Sass, you said "I think the stress and alertness deep down in our psyche is very powerful." Amen to that.

That's the story of my life carrying over from last week. I had a period of insomnia...bad...back in May/June. Then things got normal for me, but now it is back. I'm stressed about a friend I haven't heard back from, two friends who have move stuff going on, my job search, school stuff, summer almost being over, therapy, my emotions, the dang brownies (downstairs) calling my name...

I've been considering sleep meds, but I'm not sure if that's the best choice for me. Sometimes my sleeping issues can toss me into bad migraines and getting too much sleep can do that sometimes. I'm going to start a yoga class in September that will hopefully let me learn some breathing and relaxation techniques.

Hope someone out there is sleeping.

PR

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Phoenix ~

Well that somebody certainly isn't me. That's a tough call with your migraine's! My friend who was over in Iraq has to set the alarm for every 2 hours so that he doesn't get in dream mode and never gets into R.E.M.

If there is one thing that amazes me is our Psyche! I mean, we all have dealt with and continue to deal with serious levels of stress. But sometimes things get easier and you don't feel "so stressed" but &*^& if you can't sleep. There are so many days that I have thought... ya, ya, I know I am stressed but my body must be more wigged out than I can even know. It's wild. Our bodies are amazing... and frustrating.

I chose against the pills myself because a lot of sleeping meds, not only knock you out but they are anti-depressants. A lot of times our doctors prescribe them as sleeping pills for us, but wrongly diagnose us with "depression". I'm not saying by any means that we aren't feeling down, stressed, negative, pushed, etc. but it my counselor said it best: I wouldn't diagnose you with depression, I would diagnose you with anxiety. And she was right. I just figured that I was just a mess... that was my diagnosis. And the sleeping pills were starting to make me depressed and gain weight... which is depressing!

But she is right... our bodies are so on alert because such wrong and unnatural things have happened, that it goes beyond our conceptual mind... to the deepest part of our core...our psyche. I mean... we use like 2% of our brain. Our bodies are so complex and when faced with assault... we are just 100% thrown off and alert.

So, like in your position, your body is probably responding to conditioning. You probably have a lot of stress already, but it gets conditioned to that level and you sleep better. Then, you get thrown a little 'pinch' of life and your body and its stress level is too heightened.

I know that after I was raped, it is like every last thing i have ever experienced came up in full force and more intense than it was in the first place. Now, I thought to myself... isn't that a b****! lol (please forgive... I have a really bad sailors mouth 0:) ). Point is that our bodies are processing so much at such rapid speeds, from our fast paced world, to each and every experience in your life, to financial survival, to break ups, to assaults, to fear of the unknown.... everything... we just have no way of truly tapping into it all at once... which makes it hard to tell whether today's stress is going to keep you up vs. last week's. That's also my reasoning for how things just pop up out of nowhere after years and smack us in the face. It never goes away... it's weird.

So I find that even if I can't sleep normally, I try to keep my body in a relaxed state as much as I can the rest of the day to compensate. Your yoga idea is a great one. Tai Chi has been AMAZING for me. I think exercise, breathing, keeping your body very relaxed, and trying to have patience with the process are the true keys.

BUT HEY.... I'M STILL UP... so what do I know? lol I'm stubborn though... I fight sleep sometimes.

You sound like you have a lot going on! These are the times you need sleep the most, ya know?

:butterfly: Sass :butterfly:

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Thanks Sass for making me laugh and breathe. Your "really bad sailors mouth" would love my my foul-mouthed gremlins. I've been sensoring them, but they dance out when anxious (and tired). );)

One thing that let's me know I'm doing better since starting counseling is my not freaking out so much about not sleeping and letting the process be. Sometimes it bothers me b/c I have something important to do the next day and know I'll be a bit off/spacey or b/c I think I'm trying to avoid something. But at least I'm not making myself an even more anxious rabbit like I was back in May from not being able to control my sleep. I've got a long way to go, but yeah for the little realizations.

PR

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Yeah, I hear you. I mean I like to think I am this big bad army of one :ninja: ... but if my body won't let me sleep, what can I do?

I'm just waiting until y'all get use to me then I'll unleash the sailor... jk. If I did that my avatar would have to be an icon saying "Rated X'. That is if I could ever get my avatar to work! Grrr

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Geez is this a slumber party!!!!! :lol:

Sass, Phoenix and fhtf ... if you all arent asleep yet! GO TO BED ALREADY! rofl :lol:

Love u all !

Adeline

P/s wanted to join this awesome slumber party but its 6.47pm ... my insomnia wont kick in till your afternoon! Man ... I always miss the party!

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Ok Where's the party? Its 3am now... I am still wide awake! :lol:

Told ya I always miss the slumber party here! <_<

:lol: Adeline

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Hey Adeline!

We're going to need to schedule a party specifically at your "early am rambling" time. :lol:

As I rambled this am (it is 5:15pm for me now), I tried everything...reading, computer time, drinking tea, lying down, etc. I then tossed for a few hours and didn't really settle down for a good nap until almost 9am. Then I got in almost 3 hours before I had to wake up and function. Guess it is good to be a student and not working right now...though I'm steady looking for a gig. How we function on so little sleep is nuts. Maybe we are special effect zombies? Pod people? Vampires? :rolleyes:

Take care,

PR

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Dearest Phoenix (Love your name) aka zombie aka pod aka vampire

Its 5.43am here and I am wide awake! I am so sick of this not being able to sleep thing..... but now my mum is on to me like a hawk... I went downstairs at about 6am yesterday morning because the wind and storm was just unleashing and I wanted to bring my poor baby Patches into the house. My mum screamed at me ... she said ....... you always make me worry...you're on your internet and in your room all the time...what are you trying to do to yourself huh? you think I dont know about sick people who are addicted to internet .......................you better do something !!!!!!! you do better do somethingggggggggggggg !!!!!!!!

I have no sanctuary... even in this mind of mine... !!!!!! ok rant over.

Yeah.. you were saying phoenix? Where is the party? LOL You dont know how much your invitation to come over means to me! I want to excape this h*ll here sooooooo bad!

Give me wings Phoenix! I want to fly!

Adeline

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"My mum screamed at me ... she said ....... you always make me worry...you're on your internet and in your room all the time...what are you trying to do to yourself huh? you think I dont know about sick people who are addicted to internet .......................you better do something !!!!!!! you do better do somethingggggggggggggg !!!!!!!! "

Yikes! Your mom and my mom were separated at birth. :wacko:

My mom is always asking "why are you still awake? What do you do in your office all the time? What are you doing on the computer? Are you in chat rooms? People have come up missing from playing in chat rooms. (She watches way too many news stories.) You aren't meeting people on the Internet are you? You better get some sleep. You aren't going to be able to function in the morning."

It is great to have someone care, but eggads! I swear she became a totally unleashed voice around 50. Just full steam w/limited tact. Ha ha ha...gotta love them though. :P

(Putting on some music and dancing for your party.)

PR

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Dearest Phoenix,

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

:dancingbunny: Dancing with ya Phoenix :dancingbunny: (music : Who let the dogs out? bark..barkbark... who let the dogs out? ..... ~~~~~~~)

LoveHate relationship with my mum! Now I cant even go downstairs to find some peaceful quiet time patting my baby Patches and calm myself from this anger! Im afraid the mother Hawk will come screaming at me!!!!But I cant hate my mum forever especially since she made me pork chops and she made sure to marinade it and prepare it yesterday so I can have them later today.......... ! Got to love them when they feed ya!!!!!! :P

:crazy: Adeline

P/S Thanks Amazing bird!!!!!!!!!! Your reply was wings for me!!!!!!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Im flying! THANKS )))))))))Phoenix((((((((((

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What do you know...its me again! Its 10.40am and I have not slept a wink the whole night... this is bad!

I am so looking forward to my hip hop and jazz class today. We're doing Buttons from pussycat dolls and Hips dont lie by shakira. I want to finish and learn those steps but but but...... I have not enough rest... eeeeeeee... hope i can wake up in time for the classes !!!! *Addy does the boogie*

:dancingpanda: Addy :dancingpanda:

Cute dancing pandas! :lol:

night night Pandys!

Adeline

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I don't know how you do it... You didn't sleep yesterday and were up still today... and you're talking about Dancing class? You are amazing! I'd have to be scraped off the floor! Love that song 'Buttons'.

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Another night of sleeplessness... its 6.48am...... so frustrated with myself!!! :down:

Sass... I am not tt great! Im struggling... hmmpph....wish i had better news of myself.......

Adeline :down:

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Well, i just wanted to let everyone know that I have actually been in bed and asleep by 12:00am for the last two nights. I hope this doesn't get me kicked out of the "club". I have a feeling that tonight is going to be a rather long night. It is like I can feel inside me that I am not going to be able to sleep tonight. But, I have to get off the 'puter now because I need to drive home. It is only about 30 miles each way to school, and I only have had to drive it 3 times this week. I guess this is one of those times where it is good not to fall asleep to easily.

fhtf

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YOU ARE WARNED..... SWEARING.... F BOMB

Fhtf ~ Any night that we can get to sleep by midnight calls for a celebration. You are never kicked out of the club; once in the club, always in the club.

I got to bed at 9 am but that's only a couple hrs later than usual. What are you gonna do?

I hope you have many early nights ahead of you. :)

((((((((((((((((((((((((Adeline)))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry you are not doing well. I hear you and know how serious you are when you say that you are not doing well. I'm worried about you and can't wait for friend's son to go home. I hope you don't have to do any favors for a while after this... you need some you time to recoop from this recent insomnia coming back. I know that not getting sleep really affects our happiness. I'm sorry I didn't respond to the Sense of (forgot name) Future' post because I don't know what to say. I REALLY REALLY REALLY hurt that you don't want to live or feel your time will be up soon or that you are on borrowed time. I don't think I can change that but I would if I could. All I can offer is to be here as long as you want me to be or need me. I also don't want to discredit your feelings. Your feelings are valid and I want to honor them. I thought that responding back with a GDFD would be not honoring your very real feelings. You know how I feel about your beauty and how much you have to offer in this world, AND you KNOW I believe there is a happy life out there waiting for you. Everyone has their right to choose what they want ... to live or die. It would break my heart to see you go.... and I MEAN THAT. Those fuckers don't deserve that, you don't deserve another day of unhappiness or to die, and it would be a HUGE loss. Your beauty shines here.... you can be happy again. But in the meanwhile... I will just love you! I open my arms to you however you want. They are here for you in acceptance and admiration. You fucking matter.

Sass

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fhtf! As Sass said you are always a club member! I just wish you got some rest though....

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))Sass(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Exhausted but yet restless! Cant sleep.....as usual but dont feel like doing anything except surf the net and watch dvds . I dont even want to IM anyone. I dont know whats wrong...Im just picking at my face alot ..looks like bubonic plague!!!! AAArrgggghhhhhhhhhhh ! On top of that I skip gym today coz I just didnt want to go. Got shouted at for eating garlic bread last night....so I cant even eat tonight! Sigh! Im drowning here... barely have my head above water! I wish I had better things to say about myself. Something good...but everything is just dark dark dark................ terribly lonely eventhough I have lots of people I know who care about me and would sit and talk to me...I just dont want to. Im just sick of this...I hate it when I whine about myself....enough already! Later my dear Sass! I hope you are less angry less frustrated today. I hope you have more good days than bad days ! I hope everynight you have beautiful restful sleep with wonderful dreams and wake up to a bright sunny day just waiting for you to brighten it even more!

Love to all at pandys and to you sassy one!

A

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Howdy to all in the "club!"

I haven't been here in our clubhouse for a bit, but I've been awake. I'm awake now. I've been anxious for the past few weeks. It is anxiety, emptiness, feeling broken, stress, smoldering anger...all baked into one. I've been eating very very very very very badly. Today, knowing better but doing it anyway, I baked some instant (the break apart and just bake kind) cookies and have made myself sick eating them. I've had at least 12 today. :down:

Just want to give a big ((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))) to you all. I'm struggling w/trying to put new patterns into place and fighting w/the inside urges to choose bad coping avenues. I hope you all are havng a better time of it.

Take care,

PR

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PR ~

I'm glad to see you are fighting the urges to choose bad patterns. That is all you can do! Today you ate 12 cookies and it is ok. I am sorry you feel sick, but you will take care of yourself. You are strong, rising one! :)

Hang in there... sending hugs your way!

((((((((((((((((((((((((((PhoenixRising06))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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I just want to sleepppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAARRRGGHHHHH!

I hate this! hate hate hate hate..............

:hissyfit: Adeline

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i went to a new church this evening where a friend pastors at. he preached on keeping the Sabbath holy. i've grown up in the church, i've heard this sermon before. but before he closed out, he told the congregation how important it is that we get rest...sleep. at this point a friend of mine looked back at me and told me that i need to be listening to him. and i didn't know what to say to her. how do you explain this to someone?

i wish i could get people to understand that i'm not making a choice. i haven't chosen to deprive my body of sleep in an effort to become unhealthy (and apparently unholy)...i just can't sleep. it's such a simple concept, yet so difficult to explain.

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((((Iris)))) if okay.

Fear not, you are not "unholy." It is something you can't explain to anyone if they aren't in the position to understand what you are going through. I've heard sermons re: taking care of your body/temple, but not specifically to sleep. The sermons I've heard sometimes go to eating the "wrong" things and being overweight/obese. Those gnaw at me as I am overweight. But insomnia is a tricky thing. For me it comes and goes. My fears, anger, stress, tears, etc. all find a way into my sleep patterns. When people ask me about why I am so tired or why I'm having trouble sleeping, what do I say? How do I explain what my mind and body chooses to do (vs. me choosing to make it sleep)? I don't have an answer for you, but I do have hugs and words to let you know you are not alone. Something I've worked on a lot this year through my counseling is letting go of the control (or lack of it) regarding my sleeping and just letting it be. Sometimes it regulates and other times it doesn't, but me getting even more stressed about it by far makes it worse.

Take care,

PR

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Thankfully my pills are working!!!

For now...

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