Shannon

Kind Words

59 posts in this topic

"You are too strong to let this destroy you. Jeanette, you are brilliant. I refuse to believe that this will be your legacy. You will more than survive. You will thrive."

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When i was feeling like my story isn't that bad a friend said:

"Its bad because it happened to YOU...."

And another friend encouraged me to talk about it by saying:

"You're the one who went through it. Don't feel bad telling me about it, I'm just listening."

Another friend says to me "You must be hurting" . its comforting to have someone acknowledge that for me, because I can't bring myself to admit it.

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THE KINDESS THING THAT WAS TOLD TO ME WAS MY LIFE IS NOW LIKE A JIGSAW BUT DAY BY DAY PIECE BY PIECE YOU WILL MAKE IT WHOLE AGAIN AND CREATE A PICTURE WORTH LOOKING AT AND TOGETHER WHEN YOU GET STUCK ON A PIECE CALL ME AND I WILL HELP YOU REBUILD IT

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-Silence and tears. About 6 months before my r*pe, my friend told that I should limit my bar visits. I was expecting some comment like "I said so" from her.

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One thing that has helped me that many others have done; people I know as well as people I have just met: shown me respect, treated me like the person that i am, a worthy human being.

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I felt compelled to share an email that my genetics professor just sent me this morning. I am fairly close to him - well, for a professor-student relationship anyway, and I also work in his lab - and he noticed that I was not acting like myself. So I finally decided to tell him yesterday that I had been date raped four weeks ago. Anyway, it said:

Hi Kayla,

Had a couple thoughts:

First, you should feel free to talk to me anytime, day or night. You know how to find me at school, you have my cell phone #, and you know where I live. I’m very happy to talk, on the phone or in person anytime, no problem. I’m not a trained counselor, but I might be a good person to talk with.

Second, all I can think of to say at the moment is that there are a lot of good people in this world, and there is a lot of good work, and good living to do. If you don’t feel much like engaging in work or living right now, I think that’s fine, as long as you know in your heart that you will be doing it when you are ready.

The last paragraph, especially, made me want to cry. I just can't believe that someone - especially a man - could be that kind. And I do have hope.

Edited by KaylaIs

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sometimes the kindest words come in written form

I questioned is it rape if you start, change your mind, and say stop

written in an article, by someone who didn't even

know I existed and wasn't just telling me what I wanted to hear,

was my answer, YES.

and I had incredible friends:

when all I could say was the short version, "I said stop, he didn't"

they said that's all we need to know

When I said, "it wasn't a classic rape case"

they said, "it never iS"

"you were so brave!" the day I finally left him

when I thanked my best friend for everything

"you don't have to thank me, that's what I'm here for"

I still couldn't tell my story out loud but I wrote it out for the councelor

when I asked her if it sounded like rape she said "yes", and "what he did to

you sounds pretty terrible",

and here I was thinking it wasn't so bad and I don't deserve to be here.

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It's not your imagination.

Do you need me to say it? "You were raped."

It was that bad!

No means no, stop means stop no matter when you said it.

It doesn't matter what the circumstances were, it's not your fault.

This is completely normal.

I've been there too.

You will get better.

thank you, thank you, thank you.

It helps to read that, it helps a lot.

Do you need me to say it? "You were raped."

My husband did that for me too and it helped.

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