Shannon

Kind Words

59 posts in this topic

Just having people tell me that they're here for me and that they love me is enough.

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I don't think this is the right thead for this, but I just wanted to Thank all you who sent me a Happy Birthday PM. It was very kind of you to think of me on my b-day. I think that it is great that there are people in this world that will think of a total stranger on their b-day and take the time out of their day to send someone something nice. It was a very happy moment for me to get an email from you. You are great people and I hope the best for you in the future.

I know that I have not been around here that much recently. I had a bad experience in the chat one night (a long time ago) and that is why I have not been around as much. I felt that I was unheard and under appreicated. I was there because I was feeling down and the people there were just too much into themselves to even talk to me about anything but how much worse that had it then me. I was not there for sorrow from them, but just an encouraging word, but all I got was them wanted me to feel sorry for them. I am not here to be sorry for anyone. I know what it is like to be hurt, but I don't feel sorry for myself. I feel that these experiences has changed me in a way that I can help others in there moment of weakness.

Anyway, when I got these PM's I noticed that there are others out there that are trying to live their lives as best as they can and spread joy to others and not sorrow.

Thank you all again for you happy wishes. They made my day even better. I think you all are great.

Gentle hugs and best of life to you all, Stay safe and keep smiling.

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D, you've done nothing to be ashamed of. The blame is all his. Your dad and I are behind you 100% no matter what you decide to do. I'm appauled anyone could treat you like that.

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I was told by someone I didn't know very well but told generally what I had been through. He stopped looked at me and said 'I just have to say this, you are an amazing person." It really didn't hit me until a few days later what that meant to me but at the time I was able to say "thank you", I actually accepted a compliment! I was just so astounded that even after knowing all the crazy crap I've been through, he thinks I'm amazing. I've never had anyone in my entire life tell me I was amazing.

I also have a very good friend that I know I can go talk to her any time or just sit and cry, anything I need and she would never think any differently of me. I've said some pretty crazy things to her and she's always been there and she continues to be. That's more then I could ask for with a person. It makes me feel safe, very safe.

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Probably my favorite: "You're having a normal reaction to an abnormal situation."

I also really appreciate it when I'm really down on myself and talking about what a horrid person I am, and someone points out to me the proof that it's not true. For example, if someone asks me, "if we were talking about someone other than you, would you be saying the same things?" Snaps me out of it, and reminds me of all the validating things I say to others, that I deserve to hear myself.

Must be nicer to myself.

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One of the most awesome things that anyone ever said to me was the day after I pressed charges on my father and I was sitting on the floor next to my bed and I called him back and the first thing he asked is if Iwas ok. At the time I didn't know but I was thankful he was the first person to acknowledge how hard that pressing charges was. He will always have a special place in my heart.

And then last semester I said something about being a single mom and this girl in my class was like are you serious you go to school and are a single mom of twins you are my hero !!! I blew if off, I am not one that is good with compliments and I hurried away I was shocked that she would say something like that to me.

Sherri

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I'm not concerned about the blah-blah university's reputation. I don't care how nice he is. You're the only person I'm concerned about here. You matter. Just YOU. You're the victim, honey. You matter. You just do.

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"You are beautiful

You are strong

You are kind

You are smart

You are sweet.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do...

Life is way to short to be unhappy." ----------My friend "Kitten" :)

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"I'll come down there now, Ill take a flight and Ill come bring you back home. I dont care what it will cost me, or how Ill make my way there. I dont want you to go through this on your own, just give me the address and I'll be there."

"It's not your fault. No matter how you twist and turn it, it will never be your fault."

"I dont/cant understand what it must feel like for you, but I do understand your reasons for reacting like you do and feel like you do and you know what, you have all the rights in the world to feel like you do. As a matter of fact, let it all out when and if you need to - we will walk out into the forest together and you can scream as loud as you want."

"What you told me, I had no idea. It hit me so hard. I've spent hours, days afterwards reading information pages on internet to try to understand and I just want you to know, I'm here for you, always. Anytime of the day or night, just call, come over - Ill look after you. You can even have my flat to yourself if thats what you need, anything. You name it."

"You know, you dont have to say anything if you dont want to. Ill sit silent with you till you feel strong enough to let it all out."

"Think about it, in all your life you met thousands of people, hundred thousands and you have always had a smile that makes people think "oh life is so damn good" and of all that people...one idiot...one..and for one on a million you decide to change yourself, to close yourself in a bunker. The chances that you will meet other idiots like that are almost zero, luckily - and you risk ruining your life and live in forever pain, for what happened. Dont you ever forget that you were, you are and you will always be one of the most rare pearls in this world."

"I'll quit my phd, Ill find a job closer to you, I dont care, I just want to be where you are and make sure that you never feel scared or lonely again."

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"being patient and understanding is the easy part. You've got the hard part and I just want to do whatever I can to make it all easier for you." said by my boyfriend when I thanked him for being so patient and understanding.

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I called a rape crisis hotline and after beating myself up for everything they person said "If you were your best friend, what would you think of yourself and your actions?" It really made me look at everything in a different and positive way.

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"You must learn to love yourself first, then everything else will fall into place." - My 2nd cousin M.

This has really struck me, and may have even changed my life and my healing journey. She is totally right. Once you love yourself, the rest of your life will fall into place. But you must LEARN to love who you are, or you will perpetually be unhappy. She has said so many healing/meaningful/kind things to me throughout the years, this was just one that changed my outlook on life.

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"Thriving and surviving is a life long goal. You take two steps forward and one step back. When we take a step back or slide back we need to stop, take a breath, remember all the work we have done and then attack life with your passion, from that strong amazing place in you, all over again." My best friend's mother, who if I can't get a hold of my best friend, is amazing to speak to.

That really hit home for me, it really meant a lot.

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"I'm so proud of you and this amazing journey you have been on." My best friend, my boyfriend, and my best friends mother.

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One of my very best friends was concerned after I went into a depression right after I reported my abuse a year ago. She was frustrated because I wasn't talking to her and she had no idea why I was so sad. I couldn't bring myself to actually tell her I was molested in person, so I wrote her a note. This is how she replied:

"For Ashton,

When I read the note you gave me today, I almost started to cry. I thught my heart had sank inside of me. It was a change of breathing. Concentration was lost and I was speechless. I was so pissed off, not at you; but you know...

You are so strong.

That's how I think of you, and I want you to know that a note won't change that, but only prove that I'm right about you. That you can make it through everything and anything, because that's who you are; that's what you do. I don't know what to say, even though this message is really long. :) I don't know what the 'right' words are or, even if there are any. If there are, I'm not even sure I would say them the way I meant them. I DO know that everything is going to be okay; I know because of how much faith I have in you, and I know because I can feel it. I believe that if God brings you to something, he brings you through it. I've never had a challenge in my life. And if I did, they would look like pebbles compared to yours. To come out from a storm standing, means something. It shows something about you, and your heart. If I could take back anything in the world, I'd leave the option to you. I love you very much, and would do anything in my power not to see you down.

And if these words were the 'right' ones, I hope they were somehow reached. If they wern't, well....I'm working on it. :)

With all my love,

C."

I'm so fortunate to have such amazing friends.

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i am so glad that we've got people in our lives that are good to us...we deserve them.

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To repost what I posted in the "Kind Words" thread in the Healing Together subform:

Thursday my friend apologized for "not being herself" and I responded "You don't have to apologize for anything, after what you went though that is completely understandable".

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"You're so brave."

Simple but impacting :)

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"I love you, baby, and I'm always here for you if you ever need to talk about it. Don't be scared."-My girlfriend Sarah.

That was what Sarah said right after I told her what happened to me. It really meant a lot to me.

Danny.

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My friend Joey keeps telling me that time will heal me, and if I look for answers, I'll find them. When I'm breaking down, he holds me and keeps telling me he's there....it just really helps.

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It's not your imagination.

Do you need me to say it? "You were raped."

It was that bad!

No means no, stop means stop no matter when you said it.

It doesn't matter what the circumstances were, it's not your fault.

This is completely normal.

I've been there too.

You will get better.

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I wrote this down in my journal soon after. I found it again today and I think it might be the wisest thing I've ever written: "You may not be happy today and you may not be happy tomorrow but one day, I promise, you'll be happy again." Sixteen year old me wasn't completely dumb.

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"Don't ever think that I wouldn't drop everything to be there for you."

"I also suspect that your Father has missed you...and is dying to welcome you, just as you are, back into His loving arms."

"It's not your fault."

"You were a child --you didn't have the resources or perspective to stop it."

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In response to me feeling like my reaction made it okay-- "And what justification-ever-makes it okay?"

-my boyfriend :heart:

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