danusia007

How a child has DID by being raped

50 posts in this topic

it has been 2 years since I did my first post here

a lot has happened

5 more deaths

being assaulted from behind by my stalker

while my rapist watched

mom finally being diaganosed with a serious medical condition

being in and out of a tribunal

finally getting some of my own medical conditions identified

ongoing chiropactic treatments

a writing group that I enjoy

nephew coming to visit me

nephew visiting brother !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lots of changes with my supports

friend still safe

another friend coming through for the after math of the dec 6th assault

strange twist there

says more about my stalker

actually speaks volume

assaulting some one at the anti stalker event of the year

same as going to take back the night with a rapist for years

or international women day

my perspective keeps changing

as does my story

finding community support from local merchants

missing sis and friends

learning more of their stories

these are some of my reflections 2 years later

to be continued

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today I am adding another friend's death

and a lot of inquiries

I am putting more pieces together

on my own

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:hug: if okay.

I am sorry you have such a painful story and have met so much hurt. What an incredible, strong person you are especially for speaking up, seeing the cycle and wanting to stop it. I know you are an inspiration to all survivors and that you can survive and get through this. Please take gentle care of yourself okay? I really hope something can be done about the stalker if he is still there (which is horrible I'm so sorry someone has been doing that to you you DON't deserve that all!!) and I'll be thinking of you, your friend that passed and sending as many good wishes, thoughts, and compassion as I can. You ever need someone, I've here for you

~Best of wishes

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it is an anniversary packed month

i spent part of the weekend

celebrating sis's birthday

the 2 of us left home 2 years apart

1 at age 17

1 at age 15

it is a sad time of reflection for me

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In my childhood

I had 2 brothers and a sister

we all survived childhood sexual abuse

trigger warning

my big brother died while I was attending university

i am now the oldest sibling

my baby sister died while I was attending college

I am now the only daughter

my baby brother died this year

I now have no siblings

I carry part of each of my sibling's abuse story

I carry memories of each of them

and may be at some point

I will write my complete story

to all children who have did

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It is my first christmass as an 'only child"

I have definitely become an non-custodial parent

for my nephew

mom is experiencing a really intense grief reaction

what i want is

some holiday traditions to hold on to

a SAFE and HEALTHY NEW YEAR

and friends to share my life with

HAPPY HOLIDAYS !!

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today i am remembering all of the stories that i have read

today i am remembering all of the survivors that i have met

today i am thinking of my family

today i am thinkinking of my friends

today i remember

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the last of my father's brothers

died in september

i have yet to have counselling for

most of my perps

there seems to be an one size fits all

approach by most of the agencies

i am bewildered by this approach

every death brings up memories again

sometimes about the same day

just the focus changes

i now have an aunt who is also

the last surviving sibling

she has very little contact with my family

strange twist of fate there

i have had 4 more deaths

since the death of my brother

and an overwhelming number since my sister's death

I am awaiting each new death

with very mixed feelings

to be continued...

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today i remember my family

today i remember my friends

today i wrote more in memoirs

today i showed courage

tgc

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Has more hugs Danu.

:hug:

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What does the title of this mean? What's DID

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there is a support forum here for did

also known as

disociative identity disorder

the child develops ways of coping

with abuse

there are similarities

and differences for each multiple

i believe that both

my brother and my sister had did

and some mds thoughts that my parents had did as well

i am still unable to set up links to other parts of the forum

but there is information available

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Tomorrow (July 20) is an emotionally loaded anni (TRIGGER WARNINGS) (p = perp)

If Dad (p) was still alive, he and mom (p) would be celebrating a landmark wedding anniversary.

One where family and friends would celebrate their marriage. I do not know if I should acknowledge this by

phoning mom (p).

wow abuse is a vicious cycle..........will there ever be an end, I read yesterday and is so true... :bawling: bad people do bad things because they can!

My aunt who died in 2005 introduced mom (p) to dad (p). She was my mom (p)'s best friend.

Mom (p) was abused in her childhood and from what I gather by some boyfriends as well

Her sisters were abused as well.

Her mom was abused by her husband (my grandfather)(p)

Dad (p) was abused in his childhood.

His sisters were abused in their childhood

His mom was abused by her husband (my grandfather) (p)

My cousins were abused in their childhood

My parents had 4 children

TRIGGER WARNINGS

My big brother (P) was abused by numerous perps; he killed himself

he did not survive

I was abused by numerous offenders (see my story in my blog)

I help organize a community event every year honouring the victims of violence

I do this while I hide out from a stalker. My rapist showed up one year.

both my rapist and stalker assaulted me from behind at the event another year

i now have a permanent injury

My baby brother was abused by numerous offenders.

He had cancer that spread to his brain; leaving him paralyzed

He has died from the complications. He did not survive.

My baby sister was abused by numerous offenders, including boyfriends.

TRIGGER WARNINGS

She is dead. I named her on the National Day against Violence December 6th

She did not survive.

Her son, my nephew, my parents' grandson was abused by several perps

He has autism and will remain in a group home for the rest of his life.

Therapists talk about intergenerational abuse and the cycle of violence

I live with the consequences.

July 20 is also the day that I receive a decision from a tribunal

The fact that fate made it the same day as my parent's wedding anniversary left me dumb founded

The tribunal found based on my testimony sexual abuse by the following people

Dad (p)

Mom(p)

Big Brother (p)

Family Friend (p)

Mom's Dad - Grandfather (p)

Mom's Brother - Uncle (p)

Dad's Dad - Grandfather (p)

All of Dad's Brothers ! - Uncles (p)

Son of my oldest uncle (p) - cousin (p)

I was also required to name any other victims:

I named Mom, my siblings, aunts and cousins and classmates.

I did not name perps from the child porn and child prostitution. It was mentioned in my statement.

I did not name any of my abusers from adulthood.

The magnitude of my abuse overwhelms me.

The magnitude of the tribunal's decision overwhelms me.

The act of posting this leaves me apprehensive.

The fact that I am hiding from a stalker as this is posted leaves me at a loss for words.

the fact that my stalker can assault me and not be charged leaves me dumbfounded

SEE MY BLOG

SO THIS IS MY FIRST POST IN MY STORY

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I just want you to know that you are so very brave for sharing, and you are not alone, we are listening... :hug: :hug: if wanted

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thank you for your kind words tgc

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so six years after joining

i am still hiding (huh ???)

my landlord and i are WWWWWWing together ???

my chiro is treating the injuries from my landlord

dad has been dead for years

his birthday is coming

sis would have had a landmark birthday this year

nephew seems to be recovering from his surgeries

i need surgery :huh::rolleyes::eyebrow:

the pain of waiting is agonizing

however here is my pandyanniversary present

:present:

and a virtual party in my blog

listening%20music.gif

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so six years after joining

i am still hiding (huh ???)

my landlord and i are WWWWWWing together ???

my chiro is treating the injuries from my landlord

dad has been dead for years

his birthday is coming

sis would have had a landmark birthday this year

nephew seems to be recovering from his surgeries

i need surgery :huh::rolleyes::eyebrow:

the pain of waiting is agonizing

however here is my pandyanniversary present

:present:

and a virtual party in my blog

listening%20music.gif

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i am honouring my godfather today

and his heritage

maybe he has been looking out for me

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i am honouring those who have supported me with respect

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i am honouring my siblings

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i could really use some pocket riders

tgc

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i have been hearing about the aunts who continue their conspiracy of silence

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