Jackie

If You Were My Sister or Brother...

93 posts in this topic

If you were my brother or sister...
I would tell you (as tears threaten to splash down my face) that you are loved and what has been done to you...is not your fault. These nightmares will not last forever. You are valued. You are still you. You are worthy of love and attention. It is okay, it is good to cry. You are beautiful, and the moments you feel that way now...are good. If you were my brother or sister, we'd watch movies late at night and laugh. Because you are loved, valued, and wanted...and what has been done to you...was not your choice, it is not your fault, and you are no less of the person I loved before than I love now.
Liz

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If you were my brother or sister id ask if you wanted a hug, id remind you that you are a beautiful person and that i love you just as much as i ever will, i would offer u a shoulder to cry on and ask if you wanted to come talk with me, that id always be there to listen, when if you wanted to talk or not. I would ask if you wanted a hug or ur fave teddybear
but id remind you that you are important to me

thank you to all my pandy brothers and sisters
willo

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If you were my brother or my sister I'd look at you and I'd tell you how amazing you are, how your strength inspires me. I'd sit with you and when you were ready I'd hold you close, I'd let you just be. You could cry, you could scream, you could sleep, I'd whisper that I would keep you safe, that no matter what happened there was always a safe place for you with me. I'd bring it to you if you needed me to. We'd look in the mirror and I would tell you how beautiful and special you are until you believed it yourself and you could tell me. I'd know that there was more to you than what happened to you, and I would stay with you until you could see that for yourself. I'd never leave you if you needed me, and I'd know when you did, even if you didn't say a word.

Love to all my Pandy's brothers and sisters, and safe hugs to every one of you incredible, beautiful people.

Faith xxx

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Hi all,

I am new to this site and am so glad I found it. This string has really moved me.

If you were my brother (or sister) I would tell you: You did not deserve this. NO ONE has the right to violate you....I am here to listen to you, and am always available to hear whatever is on your mind. I am not afraid to hear what you have to say. If there is anything at all that I can do, please do not hesitate for even a second to ask. There is no task too small or too large that I will not do for you. Each day will have new challenges and new triumphs, and I am here to support you whole-heartedly through it all.

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If I were your sister...

I would hold you and cry with you as long as you needed, any time.

I would let you know that I love you.

I would tell you I'm sorry you hurt, I'm sorry something so precious and sacred was stolen from you.

I would tell you please don't blame yourself, you're not the one who's evil, your abuser/attacker is.

I would tell you, no matter how long it's been, no matter what happened, no matter how your abuser is related to you...

... if someone is telling you to get over it, to forgive and forget...
... if they minimize what was done or compare it to someone else's pain and say at least yours wasn't as bad, you should be grateful...
... if they try to guilt you with "but they're family/your friend/your teacher/your pastor/your whatever, you should let it go, you should reconcile"...
... if someone blames you, says what happened was normal and you're blowing it out of proportion, or refuses to believe you...
... if they accuse you of being un-Christian or a bad person because you won't forgive, because you have PTSD, because you dare to be angry at the person who violated you...

... don't listen to them. Only you and God know how deep those wounds go and only the two of you can determine how long it will take to heal from them, or if you can forgive... even if the answer is that it's indefinite or that you can't. We don't know what the future holds, we only know what we can do for today.

I would tell you that your worth is not based on what this person did to you, even if it seems like it. Nor is it based on whether you are handling this the way you are "supposed" to. We must all walk this journey on the path that has the surest footing for each of us.

Most of all, I would tell you that you WILL see the other side of this someday, that maybe we don't know what that will look like, but you will get there, and I will be with you every step of the way. Edited by itwas1983

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If you were my brother or sister, I would tell you that you are beautiful, and you have that kind of beauty that can never be corrupted. I would tell you that you are strong and you are brave, and you are an inspiration to me.

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if you were my sister or brother I would tell you

that I believe we see who we are as we are mirrored back by other people, just as we see our phyiscal selves in mirrors

and that seeing ourselves through the eyes and voices of rapists and other violators is seeing ourselves throug broken fragments of mirrors that are covered in mud...

the ugliness is in them and not in us.

and although I thought it would never happen, as I have gotten better, I am seeing that for myself I am not the damaged person I thought I was - b/c I found good mirrors (better people) to reflect myself back to me.

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If you were my sister I would tell you that simply being you is enough. No apologies ever needed. That you are loved,cared for,cherished and precious. Your pain counts and your healing is on your timeline and nobody elses. That I will be there if you need me. Together we are strong and unstoppable. ~BW~:butterfly:

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[quote name='pixie' post='242038' date='Nov 25 2005, 01:05 AM']If you were my sister or brother... I would ask if you wanted a hug. I would tell you that when you see your reflection in my eyes- you are beautiful, pure, undamaged but wronged. You are more than the sum of your body parts and you have rights. I would try to explain why it wasn't your fault even though you may feel unreasonable guilt. I would tell you that everytime someone RE-victimized you it wasn't because they meant to hurt you. That it was the way our society is and not a reflection on you. That they just don't understand rape trauma syndrome. I would try to prepare you for this world, find you a therapist, take you to a counselor and teach you to make a safe place for yourself in your mind where you can go when you need to.

If you were my sister or brother I would love you no matter what.

pixie[/quote]


Wow pixie!
That was absolutely beautiful. I find that so many beautiful souls are here online and know that we didn't deserve that type of traumatic experience. However, maybe some horrific things happen that play a role in the master scheme of the universe and have nothing to do with us? Edited by bubabug

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((((((((((((((bubabug)))))))))))))))))) if okay :)

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If you were my sister I would hug you and hold your hand, I would tell that it was not your fault and now you have to ask for help. I would tell you that it's okay to feel sad, to grieve, to feel angry, to feel depressed, that you don't have to feel better until you want to. I would tell you that I admire you for talking about your experience.

Miire

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I'd tell you not to be scared. :tear:

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aww this is so lovely. now i'm crying................i did yesterday as well, during my mom's concert. she's in a chorus.

anyway.

it's sort of like a village, or a big, blended family.

If you were my sister/brother/cousin/friend/etc........

I would ask if you wanted to talk and respect your answer. I would ask if it was ok if I held you, hugged you. I would let you cry, or sleep. I would wrap the blankets around you as you slept and made tea when you woke up. I would tell you that I acknowledge your feelings and that it's ok to have these feelings.

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If you were my sister I would tell you that you're not alone, you're not the only person to be hurt this way and that there is no way I'm going to let you suffer the aftermath alone. I'm here with you.

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If you were my sister or brother I would tell you that you are a brave and strong person, that you did nothing to deserve what was done to you and that you have no need to feel guilt or shame for what happened. I would also tell you that I love you without reservation.

blue_angel

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Hokay, so I've never been really any good with words, but I'm pretty good at finding quotes to fit the situation, so if you don't mind, this is what I'd tell my Sister or Brother.

If you were my sister, or brother, I'd tell you "the sun goes up and then it goes down. But everytime that happens, what do you get? You get a new day. You get a new one. When you breathe, you inhale and you exhale, but every single time that you do that you're a little bit different then the one before. We're always changing. And its important to know that there are some changes you can't control and that there are others you can". What happened to you was a change you couldn't control, and it is in no way, shape, or form your fault. I love you unconditionally, and you can make it through this. Be strong.

**Sheepish Attempt at The Task** Edited by blooregardqkazoo

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If you were my sister I would tell you that it was not your fault. I would sit with you and voice any emotions that you had. I would let you cry.

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You are my sister and I'M TRYING NOT TO BLAME YOU FOR NOT HELPING ME. I do love you and I'm tryin to get it right.

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This is the most incredible post I have seen yet.

If you were my brother or sister I would tell you that you are a masterpiece...created out of beauty and into beauty and nothing anyone has ever done can change that. I would tell you that you have mountains ahead of you that you will scale with victory. i would tell you that you are beautiful and precious and wonderful just as you are and it is my honor to know you and your amazing heart. You have made it through the unimaginable and you have turned those ashes into brilliance. Thank you for who you are and all that you offer to this family!!

Beth :)

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I just have to say that I [u]love[/u] this thread. It's what really got me to join this forum in the end. All of these replies are so heart warming.



If you were my brother/sister I would tell you that even though it may seem like your world is falling apart you are strong enough to work through it. I would tell you that you don't have to go through this on your own that I am there to help you. I would tell you that you can take your time and recover, that no one expects you to just "get over it". I would tell you that I love you and that no matter what happens that will never change. Finally I would tell you that you're beautiful inside and out and that you can always come to me if you need a shoulder to cry on, someone to listen, or just someone to make you laugh.

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If you were my sister or my brother,

I would tell you of my love for you, I would tell you I believe you, that I was by your side through thick and thin, that I would never doubt you, that my shoulder has a priority area reserved for you to lean on at any time you wished,

I would hold you, I would comfort you, I would sit with you and I would always hold your hand

and I would never let you push me away, but I would always give you space when you needed it

if you were my sister or my brother, I would do everything in my power to help you in every way I could, and I would remind you that there are good things in the world, and when I had reminded you, I would never let you forget

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if you were my sister or brother i'd simply say i love you. and mean it every time

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If you were my sister I would say:

I love you and that will never change no what what you do or what happens to you.

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If you were my sister I would tell you to always hold your head up high no matter what, that your beautiful inside and out, and that all the blame should fall on the bastard that did anything to you, absolutely nothing was your fault!

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