Jackie

If You Were My Sister or Brother...

93 posts in this topic

Thank you to Elektra for this wonderful idea...

I ripped this from a breast cancer awareness commercial on tv. Survivors, one by one, repeated the phrase,"If you were my sister, I would tell you..." and they would go on to offer some practical advice to those at risk or fighting to survive the nightmare of cancer.

We, as survivors of a different sort, have so much to offer each other. Sometimes few and simple words can hold many answers and much hope. I think it will be nice to have a place to share some general, loving advice. No matter what stage of healing we are experiencing, we are never alone, and there is always someone who could benefit from our simple, yet so complex, realizations. I'll start...

If you were my sister, I would tell you to never give up. What we need to live and thrive is within each and every one of us and, as long as we keep searching, we will find it.

What would you tell your sister or brother?

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If you were my sister, I would tell you that no matter who hurt you, and no matter what happened, none of it was your fault and that the fastest way to start feeling better is to internalize that you did nothing wrong. I would also tell you that what happened to you defines a time in your life, not you as a person.

Great thread,

LM

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If you were my sister, i would tell you that you are such a wonderful and courageous person with nothing but goodness to share with others in the world and i will hold your hand and help you along your healing journey. HE has done wrong, not you!

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If you were my sister I would say that I was so sorry that this happened and that no matter what happened, it wasn't your fault. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Edited by survivor

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If you were my sister, I would tell you that we cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are. We have all been hurt and, in effect, been changed by that hurt. In time we will all become better people by dealing with the pain and growing from it. You are brave and courageous and you were meant to survive.

Wonderful thread!

~Cheyenne~

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If you were my sister I'd tell you that you have a strength far beyond what you ever thought you could posess. That you are special, unique and an individual who has great potential. I'd tell you that to survive is one thing, but to live, and thrive, and be great no matter what, is another, and that's what you can do, and are doing in so many ways and you are LOVED!!

mel

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If you were my sister (or brother!), I would tell you that I love you and that I think you are a beautiful, lovely, and whole person no matter who hurt you or what they did to you. I would remind you that you're never alone, and I would remind you that you have a whole army of folks fighting on your side, the good side!

Lisa

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If you were my sister.....I would tell you, that I love you for who you are right now...and to me that love will never change, that nothing that you've done in the past will change what I feel for you. And the present, all would be forgiven and forgotten.

As sisters, we are to love one another, and help each other. As a sister you are strong, loving, courageous, and have endured enough in life. You can lean on me in good times and bad, and that I'll always be there for you. Offering support and encouragement, advice, meant with good intentions. Together we can share our feelings and help one another.

As a sister, you are beautiful inside and out, and the inner you...has been untouched. The qualities about you, still make you, you, and that you are special just as you are...for your caring and compassionate ways. And you are not defined by what happened to you. Never.

As my sister, those feelings for you...will never go away...you are apart of heart and soul always. You are never alone...and never will be alone again. I will remind you of all the good and wonderful things about you...always.

As my sister, I love you and that will never change.

Tina

Edited by Cherilee

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If you were my sister (or brother!), I would tell you that I love you and that I think you are a beautiful, lovely, and whole person no matter who hurt you or what they did to you. I would remind you that you're never alone, and I would remind you that you have a whole army of folks fighting on your side, the good side!

Lisa

Thank you so much for the "or brother" part... you have no idea how much that means to me (the rest of the post, too, but I wouldn't have thought that it might apply to me without those two words).

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You all are amazing! :wub:

((Ty)) Lisa for saying "or brother".

Every word certainly applies to you guys.

If you were my brother or my sister, I would tell you to stay strong, but know that its ok to be weak.

:hug:

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If you were my sister (as in my real sister) i would tell you all nasty things! lol

seriously,

if you were my sister i would tell you are a strong and wonderful person who isn't what has happened. that you are brave and courageous for survivng and that you can carry on surviving.

take care all sisters and brothers,

love from Laura xxx

Edited by holly28

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I just wanted to add, (((brothers))) as well.

You are loved and valued just as much...okay?

Love,

Tina

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What a wonderful idea and I've just loved reading the replies.

If you were my sister or brother, I would tell you that it wasn't your fault, assure you that the horrror is finite, and ask how I can nurture and care for you as you recover.

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If you were my sister or brother... I would ask if you wanted a hug. I would tell you that when you see your reflection in my eyes- you are beautiful, pure, undamaged but wronged. You are more than the sum of your body parts and you have rights. I would try to explain why it wasn't your fault even though you may feel unreasonable guilt. I would tell you that everytime someone RE-victimized you it wasn't because they meant to hurt you. That it was the way our society is and not a reflection on you. That they just don't understand rape trauma syndrome. I would try to prepare you for this world, find you a therapist, take you to a counselor and teach you to make a safe place for yourself in your mind where you can go when you need to.

If you were my sister or brother I would love you no matter what.

pixie

Edited by pixie
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If you were my sister or brother I would tell you I love you, this is not your fault and that nothing you could tell me could ever possibly make me think differently of you or make me love you any less. I would then tell you that we are in this together and we will get through it together.

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I finally contacted all the wonderful people responsible for this thread! (thank you Elektra! yours will be first) I have (with permission) created a page on my site based on this thread. I have contacted some of you (the first four or five) to ask to put your quote on this page with credit or anon.

http://www.ibiblio.org/rcip/sister.html

If you were my sister or brother....

If you would be willing to have your beautiful thoughts posted on this page please pm me. I would love to have this page filled with sister and brotherhood as soon as i can.

thanks so much, pixie

ps- please let me know how you want it signed and if you want your site linked under your name.

Edited by pixie

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If you were my sister or brother I'd tell you that I'll always be here w/you. I'd let you know how much I admire your strength & your courage, even when you don't believe it's there. I'd thank you for the lessons you've taught me. I'd thank you for allowing me to be me & for being such a special part of my life. I'd thank you for showing me the true meaning of unconditional love & I'd ask you never to leave...

Jackie

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Thanks pixie. Great idea for a page on your site!

I think its beautiful. :wub:

Edited by Elektra

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If you were my sister I would tell you how amazingly strong you are for making it through that pain. You are truly brave for all that you have lived through. None of this was your fault and you did nothing wrong. You did what you needed to in order to survive and that is just plain amazing. I admire you, my sister.

Lauren

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If you were my sister I would tell you how amazingly strong you are for making it through that pain. You are truly brave for all that you have lived through. None of this was your fault and you did nothing wrong. You did what you needed to in order to survive and that is just plain amazing. I admire you, my sister.

Lauren

Thank you. (Especially for the "You did what you needed to in order to survive and that is just plain amazing." part) =)

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I very much appriciate this thread. I feel like you're all talking to ME! it's crazy, do you feel that? it's like you all know exactly what I need to hear to make me feel better. thank you all.

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If you were my sister or brother I would first hold you in my arms and let you speak and be heard. I would let you cry and yell and scream.

Then I would look you in the eyes and tell you that it wasn't your fault no matter what and that even if you do not believe that now, that one day you will.

I would hold you again and promise to be your shoulder and yuor ear for as long as it takes, and to make damn sure you know you are never alone.

(maybe that's what I wish MINE would do I guess...)

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I very much appriciate this thread. I feel like you're all talking to ME! it's crazy, do you feel that? it's like you all know exactly what I need to hear to make me feel better. thank you all.

Yes, I can feel that, too. :) We're a truly wise and understanding family. :wub:

(((Everyone))) I wish our RL families were so loving and caring, too. Thanks to those who have posted. Keep 'em coming. :) Each voice is uniquely important. :pandy: .

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