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Premeditation of r*pe?


Cherry Blossom

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blondie2002

The more I think about how my attack occured, I can't help but think that he planned it! When we got back from the bar, he said that he had some playing cards in his truck and he went to go get them and that's how my attack slowly began! :tear::tear:

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ChristineMarie

This thread is kind of scary. I think that my last assaults were premeditated. He picked the time when I would be alone and followed me home, I was best-friends with his sister and they lived about 1/2 mile down a deserted, dirt road from my house. I would always walk home after spending the day at her house. I would not see him at all sometimes and he would show up on that road, and would harass me, and then assault me. I think that he planned the whole thing, which freaks me out. He stalked me and eventually raped me. I hate even talking about it. :(:scared:

Edited by christinevght
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(((((Christine)))) No need to hide under your chair here :)

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ChristineMarie

Thanks Caitlin :hug: I just hate thinking about it, and it freaks me out every time.

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MatthewJ123

both my perps did. my stepfather because he waited for my mom to not be around, and the drink spiker because well, yeah, he spiked my drink and took me outside under the guise of helping me get home in a cab.. i woke up half undressed and alone in the park across the street

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  • 6 months later...
SurvivorThriver

I found out 5 years after I was sexually assaulted that it was premeditated.My then best friend pretended for 2 years to be my friend to gain all the info she could on me about where I had just moved from,what my life had been like before moving to the next town over,what my friends were like,where we used to hang out and spend time together.All the info she got on me she relayed back to her father.Then on September 17th 1999 she invited me over to her house,promising me that her Dad wouldn't be home (He's a truck driver) so I went.He WAS home,he offered to take his daughter my "best friend" and I to the pizza place in the next town over where I had just moved from and was incredibly home sick for (even though it was only 20 minutes away my parents made my brothers and I cut off contact with everyone and everything back in that town,it was no longer part of our lives.So it had been 2 years since I had seen my friends,my church community etc... So against my better judgment I jumped at the chance to go. Not knowing what Andrea and her Dad were planning to do to me.Once we were in the van and on our way he pointed out how the lever on the inside of the sliding door had been removed that I had no way out unless he let me out.

My friends later told me that after the assault Andrea bragged about it to them and told them that she never was my friend that "she hated me,she hated what a nice person I was and she hated what a little goody two shoes I was".She said she "wanted to teach me a lesson,about what happens to girls like me who trust too many people" Those are her actual words in quotes. Her Dad just liked to "tickle" her friends so he was looking forward to "tickling" me.

My attack was definitely pre-meditated

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(((((((((((((((((survivor to thriver))))))))))))))))))))) :hug:

OMG, I am so sorry for what you went through. No attack is allowable, but that much pre meditation is un thinkable. I dont have words to express how this made me feel.

This was not your fault, and this is not what should happen to anybody.

Take care and were all here for you,

Honey

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SurvivorThriver
(((((((((((((((((survivor to thriver))))))))))))))))))))) :hug:

OMG, I am so sorry for what you went through. No attack is allowable, but that much pre meditation is un thinkable. I dont have words to express how this made me feel.

This was not your fault, and this is not what should happen to anybody.

Take care and were all here for you,

Honey

((((((((((((((((((((((((Honey)))))))))))))))))))))))))) I could really use that hug,yeah I found that out 3 years ago that she (Andrea) started planning it just a couple weeks after meeting me,she hadn't even turned 12 when she started planning it.

I don't have a lot of words to express how it makes me feel to know that this girl that I thought was my best friend could hurt me in such a horrific way.I just don't understand why she hated me,all I ever was to her was nice.I opened my house to her so that she could spend time out of her home and away from her sick and screwed up family.My parents made sure she was bathed and that she was dressed for appropriate weather conditions (her family was poor so she didn't have much clothing but her parents were also neglectful) my parents treated Andrea as if she were their daughter,she slept in my room in my guest bed,she used my computer,I told her things I would never have told anyone else.We had fun together,I really thought we were best friends and that she liked me,(I was bullied a lot in school simply for being the new kid) so to have one of these kids from this new town actually be my friend I was in Heaven.And then it turns out she was planning what would have been my r*pe had his wife not come home...... I really don't have adequate words to describe the crushing feeling I feel.

What kind of father "tickles" (that's what he called what he did to me,he "tickled" me where no one else had ever touched me) their children's friends? What kind of a father puts his hands on his children's friends in any way period?!

I don't know what made me go back to that house? I had been there once before 7 months earlier in March for Andrea's 13th birthday party and her Dad killed one of their kittens right in front of me (the kitten was asleep on the engine of his van because it was cold out,he turned on the van and he let the engine get hot knowing the kitten was on the engine..... when the poor kitty was gone from this earth he stood there laughing,later that night while Andrea was opening presents her Dad tried to pin me to the family room couch.I KNEW her Dad was creepy so WHY on earth did I go back 7 months later in September? How gullible and naive could I have been?!

I know and I can say now that it wasn't my fault I was 14 and he was 35-36 years old but I wish I had been smarter.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart Honey,the support is so very very appreciated it really is.

Survivor

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I often think about what was going through my father's head before he decided to abuse me. How does it even occur to someone to do that to a child esp. their child?

He died 6 years after he started doing it and I want to ask him if it was worth it considering that I will have to live with it EVERY SINGLE DAY for the rest of my life. Over a decade has passed since he died.

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  • 4 months later...
blondie2002

It was definately premeditated as far as W ::)barf: is concerned, because he closed the door to his room while talking to me. :scared2:

Edited by blondie2002
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  • 6 years later...

First off, I would like to thank all of you for being here. I know it's not easy.. I am new here. And I basically signed up here because j know I need to talk about it just not sure who to talk to, who would understand. I had a similar experience as Louise.

This all happened pretty recently, this last Friday the 5th actually. By my ex boyfriend that I had lived with and been with for just over a year.

And I believe it was premeditated. From the moment he called me to when I picked up my stuff from his house. To when he told me he wanted to "show me something"

I often blame myself for following him back inside. But I honeshonestly never expected him to be capable of something like this.

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I'm certain mine was. I don't think any of my perp's previous, and future, rapes were spur-of-the-moment acts.

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  • 8 months later...

I've thought about it but I always ignored it. We [myself and the guy who raped me when i was 23] met off a very popular website. I won't put the name [also I'm not sure if we're allowed to, so]. There are a lot of people who probably have met people off that site and been raped. and a lot who haven't. it's not the site it's the people. I don't like admitting how we met. but looking back i mean if sex was all he wanted from me and then it turned into rape, then.........maybe it was pre..........planned out beforehand.

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  • 1 month later...

This is my first time posting. I was never allowed to use the computer when I lived with my husband, unless getting permission. Even now I feel like I am doing something wrong.

He nearly always premeditated what he did. He would call from work and tell me I was in trouble. I would have to wait all day trying to work out a way to stop it from happening. He would force me to drink before hand.

I remember having clients of his over for dinner one night, and one of them giving me a rather crude compliment, (after some wine), my ex leaned over and told me what was going to happen later. I had to act the hostess for the rest of the night, knowing what was planned as a punishment. Its so hard to escape what is left in your brain even when you have escaped him.

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So true

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  • 2 months later...

well he was watching porn and he was dreaming and fantacizing about it. and this might be a little wierd... and even wierder that i wasnt alarmed by it but he even joked beforehand saying 'i'm going to rape you'

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 1 year later...

Well, shit. I haven't thought of it like this before. Even when we moved four hours away, he would tell his family he was going on a business trip and ask my mom if he could stay over at our house because work was bringing him to the area. Such. Bullshit. We were an hour from the nearest grocery store! Nothing brought him there except for me. :-( And what the hell kind of dad goes to sleepovers with their grade school daughter? (When we lived nearby)

Sorry for the bad words. This makes me sad. 

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  • 5 years later...

 

I had never had anybody betray or lie to me like this guy had. I was naive and gullible, and had no idea that predators like this exist. That’s why I went with him and his friends were waiting. It was premeditated.

 

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@Lou21 , thank you for saying that. :heart:

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To painful to go into all the details. But pretty much all that happened to me was premeditated.

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  • 4 months later...

I don't like thinking about it either. The truth is, no matter how messed up it seems to me, my rape was planned. He threatened me day after day that he would do it, but I never believed him. He was my bestfriend. Of course I was scared, but I would've been more scared if I knew that the entire time he was saying these things, sexually harassing me, building up rapport, he was also planning what he was going to do. I didn't hit me till a week after. It was so obvious though. My friend, Izzy, was telling me about how she went over to his house for his sisters birthday, and she found a black bag with rope, duct tape, condoms, plan b, and thing of spare clothes in my size. He was 5'11. He had this bag packed weeks beforehand, almost as though he was just waiting for when he could use it. I guess he found his perfect time when we had to perform at a football game for band. No one would question a student carrying around a backpack, no one would bat and eye if two kids in band shirts walked behind the bleachers, people even told me they just thought we were going to get his instrument because they thought he forgot it. I thought that too. I hate knowing that this boy I trusted so much, I considered my bestfriend, had been planning this the entire time. I still feel him sometimes. Maybe he planned that too.

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