Guest

False Memory Syndrome

43 posts in this topic

You can absolutely repress memories of CSA. I'm living proof of this, you see, I had complete amnesia of my trauma that had happened when I was 8 years old at school. However I had all the symptoms of abuse I just didn't realise it until 4 months ago. I went looking for help for phobias; social phobia, erotophobia (this one speaks volumes), Mottephobia and other anxiety related problems. I hunted high and low on the internet looking for therapy, that's when I bumped into Pure hypnoanalysis and booked myself in. I have been treated by a lovely therapist who helped me uncover my memories so that I can begin healing of these phobias and distress I have been living with for 22 years. I still feel really bad but I now know why, all those phobias are triggers to my abusive past.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was misdiagnosed with bipolar in 1986. I had flashbackas of being molested by a grandfather and was told it was a delusion and recieved a bipolar dx...flashbacks happened again in 1991 and I got a referral to a shrink who specialized in PTSD and she changed my dx to PTSD accurately. I received the misdiagnosis of bipolar in 2002 again during a hospitalizaiton but managed to keep the PTSD dx miraculously. I do not consider myself bipolar. I had a bad break last year with 2 hospitalizations and spent a year in therapy with my clinic's PTSD therapist. It's all we did..PTSD recovery work. Now they put me with a therapist for bipolar....but I do not agree with the diagnosis...I have gone to that clinic for 9 years. When I was released form the hospital last year, the last hospitalization, as the first, was after many PTSD flashbacks of a childhood I surpressed, my psych nurse insinuated my memories were delusions.

I trust the lady to do my meds. It matters to me that my reality is not ackonwledge. They are denying me my truth. I have been on disability since 2007. I would like to heal and get on with life...but cannot because my present therapsit will not acknowledge the memories I have had. He has told mek, when I asked to be with a therapist for PTSD, that the clinic feels if I go back and work on past memories that I will decompensate and be hospitalized again. What I have remembered is being ingored. I am being told to move on. I am being told to volunteer here and there...I am being told Im FINE when I am not.

Should I change clinics. basically, I am being accused of false memories? Of lying? Of being a delusional person when finally after all these years I have finally recalled what causes me my mental illness??

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for posting this.

Edited by soulconstance

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Can't say thank you enough for this thread. I plan to expand on my story here at some point...

This thread means a lot to me. I can relate A LOT to the things people are saying here

Questioning what's "real"

Misdiagnosis

Frustration

Thank you very much.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for sharing everyone.

Like many of you, I've had repressed memories from my childhood.

This is still a contentious debate in academia...I was sitting in a Psychology class a couple of years ago on this very topic at my country's top research university. Although it presented both sides of the argument (repressed memories real vs repressed memories are made up by people with some sort of vendetta or attention-seeking problem) , we were strongly encouraged to believe that they're false.

I think everyone was convinced except me. A few years before that I got a confessional email from my oldest friend, who had been in therapy trying to deal with what she'd done to me as a child. Instantly it all came flooding back. Every single detail. Wow...and that's something I have never ever articulated before

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for this thread. I only remembered parts of my abuse until I was 26, sober and no longer in contact with my abusers. I had to be safe enough to remember it all.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for such helpful information. It's good that repressed memories and recovered memories are scientifically acknowledged. It helps me feel more sane as I recover from things that happened decades ago...

Edited by free2speak

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Interesting, thanks for sharing. I think I may have some false memories, I was so young it's hard to know what happened.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear god, I was a witness then was brainwashed - I learned that proseltysing occurs over the allegation "oh, youre just crazy".

Edited by Linnaeus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello, I'm not sure if this is the right thread so I apologise if it's not. I'd be grateful for any advice.

So my main problem is I’m not sure if I was molested. I’m 22 years old man and throughout my whole life I’ve had symptoms characteristic for people who were abused in the early childhood. I can’t recall it consciously but I’ve always been uncomfortable with people touching me, felt ashamed of my body and constantly dirty and felt the need to touch my genitals as if something ‘felt wrong’ there, also when I hit puberty I was turned on by rape abuse scenes and I had sick thoughts about it , I’ve had trouble making friends and always felt not good enough I was bullied because I wasn’t good at sport due to the fact that I was always kind of living ‘in a dream’ I couldn’t concentrate and was often sleepy. I also had a hard time accepting the fact that I’m gay. I have OCD as well. I suspect the person who did this to me was my father because I’ve always had strange resentment and physical fear of him touching me even though he never hit me and was rarely angry. I also felt that he was much more interested in my personal life than my sister’s. At first I thought that it was simply the ‘male descendant’ of the name thing but it was very creepy (also towards my male friends) throughout my whole life. How can I know for sure? The thing is this isn’t only about me because was triggered me to talk was the fact that my sister recently gave birth to a son and I felt the strong need to protect him from any possible threat. I’ve been to psychologist and she pretty much ignored the problem and told me this might be my OCD but I’ve had this feeling for a longer time than OCD. I’ve told my mother and sister but they are more worried about people talking about it than the real problem here. I also fear that I'll become a pedophile myself, because sometimes when I 'm down and thinking about it I get these sick obsessive unwanted thoughts about naked children, including my nephew and me molesting them and as much as I hate it they are causing some unwanted sexual tension in me. Is it normal for people who were molested to thave such thoughts? And what is the best way to find out if this really happened to me in the past? Hypnosis, going to psychic? I'll add that I live in the country in middle Europe that is not comfortable with these issues and most therapists prefer to turn their eyes from the problem as the one I mentioned before. I'm sorry for any mistakes as English is not my first language. Thank you in advance for any help.

Edited by Susan
Unable to split topic's since last Upgrade...Member will have to post in My Voice if so desired.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was 22, I could have written your exact words above. I KNEW something was wrong. But I had no surface knowledge of what it was that was wrong. Throughout my childhood and into my mid twenties I did things (self mutilation, drugs and alcohol) to help myself forget the abuse and keep the memories down. When I went to therapists they could not talk to me about sexual abuse, I think out of fear that they could be sued for making suggestions and creating false memories. So they would ask if I had been molested as a child. And when I said that I didn't know and I couldn't remember, they would drop it.

When I was 30, I had my first child, a daughter. And the memories started returning. I didn't understand that I was triggered at the time. At first I thought that there was something wrong with me. That I wanted to hurt my daughter. But I really didn't. Now that many more memories have returned over the last 5 years, I understand that the images and "fantasies" I was seeing that were making me feel sick, were flashes of images of close up images of things that my father had done to me.Taking care of my daughter, wanting to protect her, having years of sobriety and being free of self harm, all combined enabled me to allow myself to remember again.

I do not know and I cannot say if you were molested or not. But I do know that your story is very similar to what I experienced. I hope that you will be able to change your status to "survivor" so that you can get more support here. There are many others with experiences similar to you but you'll need to change your status to see them.

And your English was perfect!

Hypnosis and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can help people remember, but be prepared to face a lot of people who will say that the memories are not real if you did something to "recover" the memories, instead of allowing the memories to return on their own. My memories returned on their own, without hypnosis, without a therapist, slowly over the course of several years, but most of my family still does not believe me. I told them because I wanted to protect my cousin's children. They were frequently left alone with my father. But it took years before my cousins started believing me and even now they still allow my father to see their children during holidays.

If you need support, please feel free to send me a private message. Take care.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How scandal and cover up at work? I've seen news behind the scenes - silenced and sequestered.

Edited by Linnaeus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Pedophilia is a terrible crime.

Edited by Hellothere
1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I always look back and question wether I want it or not. Is that normal?

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Religion and abuses of it can make the experience a lot worse. Never doubt abuse.

Edited by Linnaeus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Again this is amazing information from this site I'm lying or this really did not happen, or it was not that bad because I can't remember it all has been somethings I have told myself for years.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It’s not a question if I forgot it or repressed it because I remember everything. I just went numb and never talked about it. I tried so hard to forget it and wish I’d had. It was always just beneath the other memories; I just would never let them out. I don’t feel any of my memories are faked or made up just because they happened when I was three and four. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I wanted to.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, I'm a survivor of rape, not CSA, I was twenty-two. I had a host of false memories connected with my being beaten and raped. So, false memories aren't just associated with children. I was twenty-two years old. For fifty years, I believed that I had escaped and stood screaming, naked one the top of the staircase. This humiliated me because I thought the world saw me.

Within the past year, I reconnected with my boyfriend who found me. What he told me was that he found me sobbing, in the dark still in the room. As soon as he said that, I knew he was right. Why did I mis remember? I have no idea.

I did some research and the research said that when under threat, your hypothalamus comes into play, cortisol is released as are a lot of enzymes, hormones etc., all trying to help survive and they are al competing and causing false memories.

That is why it is so hard to prosecute a rapist because the victim often remembers out of sequence of creates false memories.

Anyway, it is all quite interesting.

Edited by Sutton
1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites