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Coping trics

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Hey you wonderful people !

All of us are experienced experts on how to cope even if we feel like everything is falling apart.
We've all been there : not coping but still going to work, feeling terrible but still going to that party, cried our eyes out to be at the supermarket half an hour later.
We all have our mechanisms. We all thank a lot to them.
But then we also know the days where those mechanisms we've come to trust seem to fail us... and we start grabbing around, hoping to find a new one that will work.

Soooo....

Why don't we all put our experience together... So that we can try another coping tric when our own seem to fail.

I'll start with mine.
I really hope you will all share. I would love to try some out.

Ok, when I feel terrible but I know I have to go and do something, I take a shower, a very hot one, and sing. Sounds simple, isn't always that easy though. Sometimes I just can't find a song to sing. Sometimes I have to force myself to keep singing after the first line, but it helps. The combination of the hot water running, hearing and feeling myself sing... it almost always does the tric.
:)

Hope to hear from all of you.

love

Els

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wonderful topic, els! thank you so much for posting this.

well, if i am feeling low and nothing is helping and i actually have some time to myself free of interuptions, i turn off all the lights, light a bunch of candles, and sit and sip herbal tea while listening to music that really moves me. never fail feel better albums for me are sarah mclachlan's 'fumbling towards ecstacy', kate bush's 'hounds of love', ani difranco's 'revelling/reckoning', sigur ros's 'ageatis byrjun', natalie merchants 'ophelia' and absolutely anything by tori amos. it's a ritual that brings me peace, helps me feel less alone, and soothes my soul. the gentle flickering of the candles combined with the warmth of the tea and the comfort of the music never fails to help me feel better. sometimes i end up crying, but it's always a 'cleansing and getting back to myself' cry rather than a 'things are hopeless and i just can't deal' sort of cry.

if i can't take the time to do that because my daughter's around or i have things to do, i still turn to music, but in a different way-i put on my collection of early beatles songs and sing my heart out. those songs NEVER fail to make me smile, even if it takes a little while to get into it, by the end of those cd's, i'm always feeling a little lighter. and usually, if my daughter's around, they get her singing and dancing and smiling too, which is always wonderful to see:)

thank you again for posting this! (((many hugs)))
danielle

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(((((HUGS))))) I agree with Danielle, this is a very good thread sweetie. :)

When i am low and i may actually be able to concentrate i block myself up in my room and read a really good book. But if i am not able to concentrate on anything whatsoever i normally during the day cart myself to my balcony. Turn on some real good music and relax, just look around and see whats around me. I love just dazing off and thinking about other things, sometimes i will take a notebook out with me and i will write. At night time i go out to our front porch with my cigs and walkman where i just relax. For me this is the best, but i can see how you guys above me would love what you do. :):)

Thanks Els for starting this thread up honey, its nice to see how others pull themselves together when they can or need to. ((((hugs))))

Love Donna =)

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i think this is a great plan. actually only yesterday i made a list of things to do when i feel awfull. it was part of a declaration for myself in which i state that i won't hurt myself or pull myself down anymore whenever i feel lousy. (and i am not gonna take any sanctions when i break this pact).
this was my (therapist's) first suggestion. strangely enough : it works.

most effective thing for me is taking a shower, but you've already mentioned this.
other things that work for me are the taking-care-of-myself things. renting a video, putting a mask on, making coco.
and running of course, just going outsite makes a whole lot of difference. i made the intention to run everyday.
that's it basically  

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(((((Elster)))))

Okay....coping strategies.

Sometimes a nap will stave off a mild impending depression. I have hot baths and listen to music. For fear and panic, it's good to hug somebody, it takes away that sense of not being "real".
Sometimes taking steps to help myself can make me feel immediately better, for example just the fact that I've made arrangements to talk to someone about the problem can increase feelings of strength.

Reminding myself again and again that the messages fear and depression give are not reflective of truth but are symptoms of trauma can help too.
Self nurture is important at these times too.....even if I feel like shit, I don't have to treat myself like it.

God! I think a sense of humour must be one of the best things in my repertoire...I don't fear what I can laugh at.
I read jokes; ridicule perpetrators, remember hilarious quips I have heard..

Remembering beauty is a powerful tool too; light in the dark...Ilook at my babie's smiles...the hue of a bright yellow daisy...the sweet, sweet strains of Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto in E minor... going to my "Pandygirls" file to have a look at the gallery of pictures of wonderful women I have amassed there...no matter how ugly some things are, there is still bright, brilliant beauty in the world.

Sounds ridiculous, but buying something pink can be an immediate comfort to me...a pink headscarf, pink tee-shirt, bracelet with pink stones, any shade will do.

Remebering power...thinking about conquering goddesses...and that includes opening my Pandygirls file again. I also have several amazing pics of mythological goddesses, and looking at these strengthens me. I can also recall the times in my life where I have shown guts in the face of fear.

Focusing away from me a bit...I have friends that I cannot go too deeply with, but sometimes a cup of coffee and mild chit-chat takes me out of myself for awhile and that can be a relief...

Posting here, even if it's just asking for a hug.


Love to all

Rachel xxxxxx

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DISNEY!! DISNEY!! DISNEY!! I pop in a Disney movie...(Cinderella as a personal fave)  :)
Disney never fails to put a smile on my face and pull at my "young at heart." Washing away my troubles for at least 80 minutes...

Love~
Di

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great idea to share what we find that works, never know what new tricks we may find.

thanks heaps
fairydust

(Edited by fairydust at 2:36 am on Feb. 25, 2002)

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-A long long active walk. The moving, the grounded-ness, and the physicality start often work their magic.
-Tai Qi, but go through the forms at half the speed. If I really do this--smoothly, properly, slowly, gracefully-it will work. (But its sooo hard to begin.)
-Play with dogs, or at least watch them play, or at the very very least, be around them.
Troy

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oh you lovely friends !

just reading this is a coping tric !

((((((hugs)))))))

Els

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((((Els))))

Reading this made me smile, thankyou.

You've all got it pretty much covered :) but something else that I find helpful, is writing about the nicer things in life, things that make you happy, feel positive and just plain glad to be alive.  If I'm in absolute despair and it's too difficult to put pen to paper and come up with much, I have a notebook FULL of things I have written when I was feeling more positive, and reading that is a good reminder that things get better again.  

And that's about all I can come up with right now, I'll think some more...

Take special care,
love
Maddie

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well what i usually do i just did this last night i turn on tori amos usually boys for pele and i lay on my bed and just stare at my little ponies, you know the ones from the 80's my little pony.
looking at them brings me peace and comfort sometimes makes me sad though remembering the fun times as a child.

and sometimes i will put on my sound of wolves cd and light a bunch of candles and lay down and space out into that.. i have to lay down to be comfortable cause of my back problems.
it was actually hard for me to think of anything..
but if i have to go somewhere which i usually dont go anywhere if i dont want too, except for last saturday my cousin wanted me to go out with her and i was depressed and didn't really want too, but i decided i would and before she came i listend to tori amos and i dressed comfortably which comfort to me is not tight jeans hate that.
but still when i went out i wished i hadn't and i learned something from that.
from now on when i am feeling low and depressed i am not going anywhere cause even if i am having an alright time at first it always changes.
so usually i dont go anywhere..
(((((((((HUGS)))))))))

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:) I'm getting positive PM and smiling reactions from lots of people... I'm so happy about that !
Just thought I would let you know and maybe motivate even more people to respond. Even if yours is already in here somewhere, just repeat... it's wonderful to see you all coping :biggrin:

loving hugs
Els

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Els,

This is a great thread!  Everyone in Pandora's is amazing!  For me...my coping during the bad times is to take a hot bubble bath, light candles and incense, listen to music, and just soak in the tub until I feel somewhat purified.

Erin

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(((((((HUGS)))))))) Ill repeat a post...im coping because of alot of you guys.....you guys are great so do not ever let anyone tel you different. :):)

Love ya Els....:)

Love Donna =)

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Els! wow,what a wonderful topic,and hey.....so i'm not the only one who does the shower/sing thing......thats funny i thought it was just me:)
Music is the biggest coping mechanism ever for me!
Januarygirl,you have great musical tastes!"fumbling towards ectasy"is my lullaby album right now,gets me peaceful each and every night.
herbal tea....yum......different kinds depending what mood i'm in.
painting......poetry writting.......
pandora's ......coming here is my way of coping,you beautiful people!
love you all
love willowgirl

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Great thread, Els!
When I'm feeling down or depressed, I try to exercise.  And, if it's dark or after sunset, I'll turn on all the lights in the house.  I'm not sure why this helps, but it does.
When I'm feeling angry, I use a punching bag to relieve my rage.
hope these help someone else!
take care,
Shaina

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*** OK  ****
Different things for different times, as a Mom of
4 small children, I can't always do the same so I
have a few different ones,
with the kids, we slap in a Bert & Ernie (sesame street)
"Rubber Ducky" normally does the trick.
When alone, I will have a piggy break! Sounds silly right?
Let me explain, not much to it really, I own the snuggles Guinea pig in the whole world, He always helps, make me happy again,
when kids are asleep, I check on them, nothing more sweet then your children peacefully asleep.

  Hey Great thread, thanks, Daisy Ivy

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((((Els))))

What a great thread!!!

I ususally go running and I just run and run until I can't run anymore. Exercise and any kind of physical activity helps me out a bunch. Hand ball is great to. ;)

If its a body memory and I hurt I usually can't run. I like to come here and try to post what I am thinking. Chatting on Im is great!! :)

Oh and I love to sing whenever I am in the shower to keep from getting scared. Plus I love to sing..I am really bad though. lol..

I am glad you girls kept boosting it... I might not have seen it. This is great. :) :)
Thank you.

  smiling ~ emma

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I listen to music, play video games, read or watch a movie. I like listening to music because it's relaxing, video games help get the aggression and anger out, reading and watching movies take me to "another world" for awhile.

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Any chance of getting this thread in the wonderful threads forum? Love this one! Rain

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I either watch a really funny movie that I can't help but laugh at or play my Tori Amos albums really loud and sing along to ever word.  Poetry and just writing down your feelings is also helpful, it really helps to put things in perspective.  

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boost....


((((((((Diana))))))))

I hope you'll find something that might work for you.

Take gentle care.

Els.

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((Els))

Great thread! I usually call a friend - amazing how the voice of a friend makes you feel less alone.

Course now I have all these chatsisters I often come online and chat chat chat. I can now type like the wind :).

Love you Els
CA
xoxox

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