linnea

What are your healing ACCOMPLISHMENTS?

146 posts in this topic

I wrote down part of my story.

I didn't go a meeting with a man I knew was going to harm me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a great thread. I'm proud of these things.

1. I've stayed alive.

2. I understood that I had been sexually abused.

3. I admited that it wasn't my fault.

4. I stopped dating and being friends with the abusive guy and admited that at least sometimes, I hate him.

5. I joined Pandys.

6. I wrote and posted about my bad relationship here and another site.

7. I don't feel so ashamed of being weak, having panic attacks and crying sometimes than I used to be.

8. I've been to a psychiatrist and tried to get to therapy.

9. I told about my experiences and problems to strange professionals.

10. I also told some of it to my friends, mother and Grandma.

11. I could begin a new relationship with a wonderful guy (though the relationship ended later).

12. I've been able to enjoy another person's closeness a little.

13. I've learnt to trust people more than before.

14. I've helped some other people with problems giving them a little comfort and/or advice.

15. I was accepted to a school to study arts and media although I haven't recovered from the abuse and some other things and felt sick and sad in the test.

16. I draw well and write too, both about the abuse and other things.

17. I'm rediscovering my sexuality and learning to like it instead of being ashamed of it.

18. I'm looking forward to really being able to enjoy sex with a person I love.

19. Sometimes I can smile.

Edited by Elfstar

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some of my healing accomplishments:

I've told my husband (almost) everything that happened.

I've stuck it out with T even though I thought I couldn't.

I've shared my story on Pandy's.

I'm starting to deal with it rather than trying to push it aside.

I know that I want to live.

I have reported.

I went to a doctor...even if it was a couple of weeks later.

I'm starting to recognize my triggers.

I'm starting to learn how to handle/work through my triggers.

I think that's all I have for now...but I'm shocked looking at this list at what I have accomplished so far.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My healing accomplishments would be that I have written about my feelings in this forum and I have readdressed the events of my abuse after a 9 year hiatus. Thanks for your time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It might not be a completed accomplishment (yet), but it's a step / part of my healing accomplishment....and that is to face therapy.

survivor

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Probably seems like nothing compared to what other people have done but i was quite pleased with myself :P

I finally managed to tell my story out loud, including saying the R word, which i've never been able to do before. It took hours and i still have to get the last little bit done, which i will do sometime this week or next, then i can move on a bit hopefully, its only taken about 18 months :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been able to stay alone in my apt @ night and not have it bother me.

I've been able to let my male friends and family members hug me and not get freaked.

My now former co-worker R is going off to college next week, and he said he wouldn't see me next wek and he asked if he could give me a :hug: and I was ok with it.

Edited by blondie2002

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I worked in a hospital a couple of years after my r*pe. No one I worked with knew anything about it and I wanted to keep it that way. I got a call that there was a r*pe victim coming into ER and did I know anything about evidence collection? We had no female doctors and the woman refused to let a man touch her. Fortunately, I had a few minutes to try and stop shaking, throw up and get a drink of water( I'd have liked a shot of whiskey) before she came in. She reminded me so much of myself except her attacker had been a stranger. Once I started talking to her all my fears went away and I found I was able to relate to her on a deep emotional level and share that I'd been in her position and understood all too well what she was feeling. I spoke with her several time after that for support. The hardest thing for me was the next day when they brought in the man who r*ped her for evidence collection and I was asked to help with that. You can all imagine what I wanted to do to him! After he left I threw up again-mostly from the strain of holding in my fury. He eventually pleaded guilty saving her the agony of a trial.

Anyway with all this rambling, the most healing thing I've found is being able to help other women who've been assaulted. It's been 27 years next month and in that time I've talked to dozens of women. I no longer have any reservations about sharing my story. It wasn't my fault-which I've always known but the feeling of being "dirty and different" was still there. That's long gone-it's now just another thing that happened in my life, bad but not the worst thing as far as lasting effects.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love me and everything about me.

I feel free, I feel joy, I feel passion and I feel in control.

I've pushed myself with amazing results.

I trust myself.

I am straight forward and honest about my feelings and am able to ask for what I need.

I have conqured my fear.

I have conqured my shame.

I honour myself in little ways everyday, especially when I don't feel like it. (spa treatments, climbing trees, swimming, dancing! etc.)

I take care of my body, my health, and I am gentle with myself in every way. (Meditation, working out, eating well, yoga etc.)

I am working towards the life I want and I am enjoying it!

I am able to enjoy physical contact with males and trust myself enough to relax.

I ended and stopped my abuse, by myself, I took care of myself.

I've reclaimed my sexuality, even after being r**** countless times and abused in many ways, including as a child.

I think I'm amazing!

I love my body!

I love fun!

I've developed my spiritual side!

I'm happy, I'm at peace, I'm calm. I'm no longer in chaos!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Knowing there are probably always going to be triggers but knowing that I can handle anything becuase I love myself and I am so strong!

Just wanted to add that in!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I found my soul mate. I opened up to him. He knows everything about me that I know myself. He loves me dearly. And my major accomplishment is that everyday I'm more comfortable thinking that I deserve his love.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I found my soul mate. I opened up to him. He knows everything about me that I know myself. He loves me dearly. And my major accomplishment is that everyday I'm more comfortable thinking that I deserve his love.

That is mine as well.

You summed it up so beautifully.

I am so grateful for him, because without him, I don't know where I'd be.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Knowing there are probably always going to be triggers but knowing that I can handle anything becuase I love myself and I am so strong!

That sounds like me. :D I've also learned to relax around guys that I've known for a long time. (I'm still kinda :suspect: of ones that I barely know.)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've started my own business - as an artist

overcome my fear of the dark

gone to the police and he's behind bars now.

found my soul mate - still don't know why he puts up with me though

started writing

joined here and chatted to people after finally realizing I was living made up life.

started wearing my hair how I want to - not how my mother did.

asked for help when I needed it.

I hope to soon say I can sleep through the night.

thanks to every-one.

Flame

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Face the truth. I'm still working on the self-blame, but it's only been 3 months for me.

Opening up to my friends and a few family members about what happened. Allowing them to support me and validate what happened to me.

I hope there will be more accomplishments for me in the future...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've moved out of my abusive grandmother's house and I now live 1000 miles away.

I'm working a full time job and providing for myself and my room mates.

I'm going to a therapist for counseling to work through my depression and PTSD.

I started taking a mild anti-depressant for my emotional unbalance, and it's helping me wonderfully.

I can look people in the eye again.

I'm drawing and writing and being creative again.

I'm less socially crippled and I don't flee the room at the slightest awkward moment anymore.

I went out on a limb and got half of my hair buzzed short in a punk style, despite the lingering thoughts that my grandmother would beat me for doing such a thing.

I've stopped wearing huge, frumpy clothes and I'm showing my curves again.

I've lost 30 pounds since this past November, just by eating healthier and drinking water.

I can cuddle with close friends and not flinch or shy away.

My nightmares have lessened drastically and my sleep has improved.

I don't feel hopeless and useless anymore.

I care about my appearance again. I like dressing up and putting on makeup and looking attractive, like I used to.

I can spend a day in public by myself and not hyperventilate.

SPOILER, highlight to show content

I can touch myself and feel pleasure from it, instead of feeling numb or disgusting.

I've improved this much in the course of 5 and a half months. :P

Edited by PandaFace

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Knowing there are probably always going to be triggers but knowing that I can handle anything becuase I love myself and I am so strong!

I'm hopeing for the exact same thing. :yay:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

at this point, I just want to start feeling FREE and like I am not completely crazy..if thats possible. :down::oo:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mine has been time, recently opening up to a counselor and close friends (the past few years), and time. I still have a ways to go because I have never been with a man (since this happened to me when I was 9). At 23, I still have yet to have a relationship with a man. I think the worst part is actually admitting that I have a problem, so many years later, with trying to date, talk, and be intimate with men. But I have come a lot further than I was when I would have a panic attack before a date!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

After being in sex therapy for 9 months (rape was 10 years ago), I had sex for the first time in 6 months with my husband. It's a HUGE accomplishment, as I've been not allowing myself to be sexual until I was ready again.

Hubby has been so wonderful and understanding. He has come to therapy with me and learned what actions make me uncomfortable and what works for me.

While it's a huge accomplishment, I'm still a little emotional about letting go one of the things that made me feel safe, which was abstaining. During and immidiately after I felt proud and accomplished. A few hours later I'm a little emotional .Trying to stay positive and realize what a milestone this actually is bc every step I took tonight I did not do until I felt ready. I am strong...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Met a person who changed my life forever, I told him and he is slowly helping me fix myself.. I don't have panic attacks every three hours, I don't panic in the shower as bad, and I try not to cry every night

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites