linnea

What are your healing ACCOMPLISHMENTS?

146 posts in this topic

Yay for more posts!

And, hilary, those things you wrote ARE accomplishments!!

Accomplishments don't have to be huge - an accomplishment can be getting out of bed on a tough day. You just made it through an anni too - another accomplishment.

I see so much being done by everyone. I applaud you all! You all inspire me.

Now, come on everyone. Join in the fun. The best part about this thread is coming back and reminding yourself what you have done when you really need a boost.

Love you all,

Shell

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One more accomplishment - this one a biggie - had my annual physical today - last "annual" one was over 3 1/2 years ago.

Cried during mammogram - cried again during "physical" even tho doctor was female . . . was such a BABY that the nurse came in and held my hand!  She even reminded me to breathe a couple of times.  This for a 50+ year old woman. I felt so stupid - but I got through it.  Finally, 14 hours later, I've stopped shaking and am able to talk about it without wanting to scream or cry again.

For me this was a great accomplishment - because I had to face a personal "demon" to just GO to the doctor.  I almost didn't - but sister called today and made me promise to go - in return she'll go for her colonoscopy - I guess I didn't have it as bad as she does - it just seemed that way.

I'm really trying not to let my r*pists live rent free in my mind. Hope it comes to an end soon!

Also, shared with a friend last week - and she didn't judge me. Am beginning to feel more sure of myself - a step in the right direction. Sure am GLAD that I have this site to go to - where I can talk to others who don't judge me, don't even know who I am. . . I feel much safer here than around those who know me and judge me. Thanks for being there.

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Shell, you rock AND roll!

This is a great thread.

Note: This post dedicated to Curley, who taught me what flying was all about, and to Richard, who made me walk all the way around the airfield repeating to myself every step "I am a *VERY* good pilot..."

I broke my silence.

I went back to the T I saw as a teenager and told him what was really going on.

I started playing music again, and writing and taking pictures.

I loved, lost, loved again, and it was OK.

I do not let people pick on me nor do I let them take advantage of me.  

I have begun to accept myself, and to allow others to accept me.

I have learned to fly.

The roaring in my ears was drowned out by the wind,

which ripped away the pain and the anger and dusted the fear

The tiger that is the world was right before me

and I took her tail in hand: three shakes.

Three shakes and the world turned upside down and then

rightside up.  

And we laughed, the world, the white-winged angel, and I.

Mike

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I know that the pain my family is going through isn't because I done wrong.   It is because the rapist done wrong.

I know longer blame myself for putting my son's through ####.   They love me, and are here for me.

I am healing after all.

MJ

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It's a couple of weeks since this last got boosted (but no doubt Shell would have got round to it before too long!), and it being such a good thread I decided to get it back up here.

I re-read my achievements and decided I can probably add a few more now:

Have accepted the reality of PTSD and that it is not a weakness

Have told more friends what happened, and not regretted it

Have admitted to myself, and others, that sometimes alcohol is a problem

Have recovered new memories, and not fallen apart in the process

Have learnt to ask for help when I need it, and not when I think it will be most convenient for others

There are a couple of others, but I'll save them for the next boost ;)

There are a lot of names missing from this thread, plus a few new people joined since the last boost, so come on guys and girls!

Jen

(Edited by jenster73 at 9:51 am on Dec. 9, 2002)

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I Mary Jane am done saying.....Only if, Only if, Only if!

I need no only if's!

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Jen, now really - do you think I would boost my own thread yet again???? ;)

Well, the answer would have been yes because I have another accomplishment.

I made it through my first "real" anniversary! :-) Of course, it was the whole month of November since I don't know the date but I made it. :)

Come on everyone. Join the party. :-)

Love,

Shell

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(((((((((((((Shell!!!!)))))))))))))))))

That's fantastic! I know you had been worried about this, but you did it. :)

As for boosting you own thread - you? Surely not!!?! ;)

Be proud of you, I am!

Jen

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((((Shell))))

Okay - I initially came here to do the work, but now I see that we are here for a party!?!?  There is certainly cause for celebration - congratulations, I am proud of you!!!  In honor of you, I say, boost, boost, boost - shit, I'll come back and do the work later on and boost once more for ya with a capital B!  You go girl!

Love,

Lisa

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i have accomplished peeing 10 times in the last hour.

(cheap beer will do that to ya)

i'm working up to accomplishing a phonecall to a therapist.

ok, so i haven't accomplished it YET, but i'm getting there:)

hugs,

hilary

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i'm going to the dentist again.

i'm dancing and playing again.

i'm reading this thread.

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Okay - I have a lot of healing to do. It is still going to be difficult. However, at this point in time, I commit unconditionally to life, to being here, regardless of any other person and their presence in my life and regardless of what might or might not happen. Although I am not certain when I will heal completely I am willing to want to.

Lisa

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Heeeeeeeeere I am.

I needed a boost so I thought I would come back and read some things that I have accomplished. It really helped. I also wanted to add...

I am now posting as me - as Shell - not hiding behind Momof2 anymore. It still feels strange but that's ok. Change is good.

It's a new year, anyone want to add?

Come on, you know you want to ;)

Love, hugs, and a Happy New Year to all,

Shell (shameless booster)

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I am beginning to feel dorky constantly boosting my own post with my own accomplishments. I would like some company. :-) Pleeeeeeeeease!!!

But, I have another.

I told my sister. Finally! So, now, after all this time, I have the support of one of the people I love most in the whole world. (the others - my parents and my sometimes idiotic husband :P and my closest friend - and of course all of you)

This is huge for me. Thanks for letting me boost and share.

Anyone else want to share?

Love and hugs,

Shell

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You are sooo NOT a dork - you are wonderful!  Know what?  I'm glad you boosted because I have something that I want to add.

I posted the other day in the "Surving Together" forum and I was really, really proud of myself.  More or less lately I feel as though I am at a sort of crossroads in my healing.  I am gently letting go of the "Lisa" I was before the r*pe, I am unmasking the "me" I created after the r*pe in order to survive and I am embracing the me that I am becoming.  I have so much more that I want to say about this but am saving it for a more long-winded post!  :)  Anyway, so I am really proud of myself for seeing these things in myself and accepting them. Thanks for allowing me to share.  This really is a powerfully "boostable" thread!  

Love,

Lisa

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Shell, thank you for your shameles boosting!  I am new and have never seen this thread before.  It was very encouraging to read 5 pages of accomlishments (and, might I add, an accomlishment in and of itself!)

- I got up this morning when all I wanted to do was call in sick, lay in bed and cry.

-I posted a thread asking for help last night even though I felt like I was being selfish

-I looked up places for group therapy

-I didn't delete any of the accomplishments I just typed even though I thought they were silly.

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This time I am boosting because I have seen a bunch of threads from people talking about things like telling family/friends etc. Major accomplishments. Also for anyone new who would like to join in - this is a GREAT place to list even the smallest accomplishment. It feels great to come back and read them when you aren't feeling great. Also, yay to Alesia, princessd. and MzLizz for adding yours to the list. Good for you!

So, BOOST I say. BOOST BOOST!

Now, come list those recent accomplishments. Don't make me do it for you! ;)

Love,

Shell the pain-in-the-butt (who edited because of horrible typing)

(Edited by Shell at 10:00 am on Jan. 13, 2003)

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((((Shell))))

Thanks for boosting again!  You know, it seems that each time you do I manage to think of something positive I have done and it feels so incredibly wonderful to acknowledge that progress in myself.  Today I begin *T* after being out of it for a few years.  So this is a big step for me, to go back and begin anew, but I feel like I'm taking care of "me" and offering myself a clean slate.  So, yup, I'm patting myself on the back.  Oh, and I'm also working on something that is requiring me to see things that I have previously either ignored, denied or simply chose not to see. Embracing my "truths" is a small step towards freeing myself of those buried memories.  *another pat on the old back*.  Thanks for boosting, hun!  

Love,

Lisa

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Okay kittens, time for this one to go over to Wonderful Threads.

Wonderful Threads is public, so if you don't want yours to be there, please delete it or ask one of the mods to remove it completely.

Hugs

Emma

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Ok, was just in 'My Life' and noted that Shell was about to boost her own thread, yet again :o !

Well, I beat ya to it, cos I have a couple

I used real words in my counselling session - I called a spade a spade and it felt #### good

I told a couple of friends what happened

I've turned my next anniversary into something I can look forward to - I booked a cottage for me and 5 friends and I can't wait!

Yeah for Shell and her healing accomplishments thread, and for shamelessly booting it over and over and over and...

;)

Jen

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I am learning to stop dwelling on things I can not change.

I am also boosting this thread.

xxx

Lisa

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I managed to post part of my story and promised myself that I would keep it up. Now just to work on the rest of it.

~ rox

PS. I'm also shame<i>lessly</i> boosting this because it's an awesome thread that I just now looked into. (((((shell))))) you rock. :)

(Edited by cera at 6:48 pm on Jan. 24, 2003)

oy...

(Edited by cera at 6:50 pm on Jan. 24, 2003)

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Hmm what are my healing accomplishments, good question, very good.

I would say mine are the fact that i have managed through every single thing to grow STRONGE and yet STRONGER from each thing. That i once upon a time ago grew to care, then like, and hey even love myself as much as i do now. That i began to feel comfortable with myself, that i KNEW it was NOT my fault, yes i will always deep down have questions and sometimes voice them but i KNOW it was not me, it was him..

That i have the ability to tell someone in my day to day life about me, and KNOW that i deserve to be treated NOT at all differently. It may have happend to me, may be a part of my life but it does NOT make me or end me, it is with me though.

That i can stand up for myself and speak up for myself even if im scared to do so, the knowledge that i AM allowed to is enough to not keep my mouth shut.

That i am beautiful, i am a good friend, i deserve love and to be loved, i deserve honesty and not lies, i deserve greatness just like everyone else.

That with each step i take, each time i share my story, each time that i share my fears, each time i say what makes me scared, each time i cry, each time i laugh, even when laughing is so hard i can not breathe, each time i dream, each time i think, each time.

As my name goes each time is just a little bit of a "Glimpse of love."

My accomplishments are great, in my eyes and heart.

Excellent post.

(((hugs)))

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(((((((Shell))))))) What a great thread!  I have to thank you for starting this.  For once, I feel like I have a lot of accomplishments I can be proud of.

1. Most importantly, I admitted that I was NOT OK, & that I did need help.

2. I broke the silence by coming to Pandy's & posted my story on another site.

3. I am trying to find a T & find a way to fit one into my budget.

4. I recognized my fantasy life for what it was, & FINALLY admitted to myself what really happened.

5. I've begun to talk to my boyfriend about it & have made a commitment to tell him the whole story.

6. I'm beginning to regain my self-confidence & my love for myself, though it is an on-going battle.

7. I'm beginning to believe, actaully BELIEVE that it wasn't my fault.

8. I've realized that I don't have to be perfect to be loved.

9. As strange as it may sound, I've come to realize that I've been hiding behind my abuse.  I felt safer closed off from the world.  Well, not anymore.

10.They're few & far between, but I've regained some memories.

11.I've finally placed my trust in a man for the first time in many years.

12.I've learned the true definitions of "strong" & "brave".  Furthermore, I've come to realize that I am both of these things, & that the fact that I hurt doesn't make me weak.

Wow, Shell, thanks again for starting this thread.  I didn't even realize I had accomplished so much until I started typing.  ((((hugs to Shell & everyone else))))

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