Lis

It Wasn't Your Fault - An Exercise

285 posts in this topic

Hey, I think that this us a really great thread. I am not yet ready to write why it wasn't ny fault but here is my list -

TRIGGER WARNING - uncensored please fake care

It is my fault because I wore my short skirt

It is my fault because I took that shortcut alone

It is my fault because I forgot my prefect top

It is my fault because my body responded to it and I really did enjoy it

It is my fault because I didn't say no or fight back hard enough

It is my fault because I asked him to carry on and asked him to do a separate act

It is my fault because i liked how he spoke to me

It is my fault because I should have yelled for help when I had the chance

It is my fault because I undressed his bottom half

It is my fault because I am a dirty little whore

It is my fault because I drank his vodka and took his tablets

It is really my fault because I didn't get the bus home

It is really my fault because I willingly got in to the sexual positions

It is really my fault because I unbuttoned my shirt while walking past the van, I probably gave him the  idea

It is really my fault because I lied about being a virgin

It is really my fault because I picked to use some instruments

It is really my fault because I undressed myself ready for him

Lucy

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1. It was really my fault because ___I should have known kissing him meant I had to sleep with him, & I invited him over, I was being a tease

2. It was really my fault because ___He told me before he gets violent when he drinks & that he was bad for me

3. It was really my fault because ___I dressed sexy & I was drinking

4. It was really my fault because ___sex always hurts the first time

5. It was really my fault because ___I agreed to sleep with him & supplied the condom

6. It was really my fault because ___I miss him & hope that if we "do it over again" everything will be okay again

1. It wasn't my fault because ___I didn't owe him anything

2. It wasn't my fault because ___ ???

3. It wasn't my fault because ___ ???

4. It wasn't my fault because ___ ???

5. It wasn't my fault because ___ Only after pressure & intimidation did I agree

6. It wasn't my fault because ___ I told him to stop that he was hurting me...multiple times & he didn't

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*bump because this is an awesome thread*

I'm not censoring any of this, so you may want to stop reading now.

Child rape:

1. It was really my fault because I didn't say no

2. It was really my fault because I might have misunderstood it, it wasn't 'really' rape, it was only just an innocent game which my older sexualised self twisted the memory of

3. It was really my fault because she told me she would never force me to do anything

4. It was really my fault because I didn't tell anyone

5. It was really my fault because I still love her; I wouldn't love her if it was her fault, would I?

6. It was really my fault because I didn't fight

1. It wasn't my fault because I didn't understand what was happening

2. It wasn't my fault because I didn't realise I could say no

3. It wasn't my fault because rape is rape, regardless of context

4. It wasn't my fault because I was lied to and used by someone I'm supposed to trust

5. It wasn't my fault because nobody would believe me if I told, and I didn't have the words for it at the time anyway

6. It wasn't my fault because I couldn't have fought, I was only a little kid and she would've easily overpowered me

Molestations #1 and #2:

1. It was really my fault because I knew what was happening yet still didn't stop it

2. It was really my fault because I didn't fight even though I could've stood a chance

3. It was really my fault because I don't hate them

4. It was really my fault because I couldn't even feel it while it was happening, couldn't even register it... it probably wasn't that bad, right?

5. It was really my fault because they're nice to me, how could they have done something like that?

6. It was really my fault because I was wearing a short dress that showed off my arms and legs

1. It wasn't my fault because I was too scared to fight or run

2. It wasn't my fault because hating them would be counterproductive

3. It wasn't my fault because it doesn't matter if I couldn't really register it happening... if anything, that makes it more of their fault than mine because they took advantage of my fucked-up-ness

4. It wasn't my fault because niceness is not indicative of personality, nor does it guarantee someone isn't fucked up

5. It wasn't my fault because I didn't choose the dress, my mum did

6. It wasn't my fault because an attractive ten-year-old is still a ten-year-old

Courtesy of my beloved smother:

1. It was really my fault because I never once talked to her about it or tried to stop it

2. It was really my fault because I could've at least locked the door of the bathroom

3. It was really my fault because I didn't tell anyone

4. It was really my fault because she's my mother, she's allowed to do whatever she likes, who am I to complain?

5. It was really my fault because I probably have just misunderstood it all, it's normal

6. It was really my fault because I still live with her and I haven't done anything about her

7. It was really my fault because I sometimes was turned on by it

1. It wasn't my fault because I felt (and still feel) powerless to stop her

2. It wasn't my fault because she would've beaten me if I'd tried things like locking the bathroom door

3. It wasn't my fault because nobody would believe me - society sets mothers up to be this shining beacon of purity and sweetness and light

4. It wasn't my fault because she forfeited the right to be my 'real' mother when she started all this shit

5. It wasn't my fault because being watched and touched sexually in various states of undress

6. It wasn't my fault because I'm financially dependent on her, my hands are tied and it's best to just wait it out

7. It wasn't my fault because being turned on means nothing - it was still incestuous and non-consensual.

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it is my fault because:

1) i never did anything to stop it

2) i deserved to be punished

3) when he invited me into his bed i said yes

4) when the men were there i just did what they asked - i never cried or put up a fight

5) i knew he was doing the same to other children and i still said/did nothing

6) i loved him and still do

7) i am weak

8) i didnt want him to be taken away

9) i lied all the time when people asked what was wrong

10) i convinced myself he would stop by himself but i should have learnt after the first few years that things would only get worse

11) i would give anything now to see him again

its not my fault because

1) i let him convince me that it was normal

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1. It was really my fault because I believed her when she told me she loved me and was doing something not only right but wonderful for me when I was a child.

2. It was really my fault because I agreed to tell other young victims that they should submit to sexual acts.

3. It was really my fault because I hurt other people when she told me to.

4. It was really my fault because I dissociated and forgot it ever happened, so when another survivor of the same abuser confronted me, I couldn't validate her at all.

5. It was really my fault because I experienced orgasms from a young age.

6. It was really my fault because I chose abuse over other options I was given.

1. It wasn't my fault because I was deceived into believing my abuser was righteous when I was still in preschool. However old my soul may be, and however mature I was for my age, I still had the limitations of existing in a child's body with a child's limited understanding of the world.

2. It wasn't my fault because I honestly did not understand I was being abused, and my trauma-induced loyalty to my abuser and fear of what she would do if I disobeyed caused me to believe that I was helping these children by telling them to just go along with whatever she wanted to do.

3. It wasn't my fault because I was essentially forced to harm others. I would never do what I had to do there in my normal, day to day life.

4. It wasn't my fault because I needed to dissociate in order to survive. The other survivor's pain was not my fault. Only her abusers were to blame.

5. It wasn't my fault because I have no control over my body's arousal and it was sick that my abusers used it against me.

6. It wasn't my fault because all of my options were awful and I did what I had to to get by.

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This is my first post.

This was ridiculously hard to do.

1. It was really my fault because I went to the toilet alone.

2. It was really my fault because I didn’t say no.

3. It was really my fault because I didn’t scream.

4. It was really my fault because I froze.

5. It was really my fault because I didn’t report it immediately after it happened.

6. It was really my fault because I didn’t want the police to investigate.

7. It was really my fault because I let it happen.

1. It wasn’t my fault because a sixteen year old can be expected to go to the toilet by herself.

2. It wasn’t my fault because I couldn’t speak.

3. It wasn’t my fault because he told me that if I screamed he would kill me.

4. It wasn’t my fault because to freeze is a very natural reaction.

5. It wasn’t my fault because I was in shock and just wanted it to go away.

6. It wasn’t my fault because I was scared he would come back and get me.

7. It wasn’t my fault because there was nothing else I could do.

It was really my fault?

It wasn’t my fault.

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I guess I will try this....

1. It was really my fault, because I drove into the city that night looking for someone.

2. It was really my fault, because I allowed him in my car.

3. It was really my fault, because I voluntarily took drugs from him.

4. It was really my fault, because I made out with him.

5. It was really my fault, because I did not fight him hard enough.

6. It was really my fault, because I allowed him to manipulate me and I shouldn't have been so trusting.

7 it was really my fault, because I didn't go to the police right away so evidence was lost.

1. It wasn't my fault, because I was lonely and wanted to be with someone.

2. It wasn't my fault, because I was trying to be nice to him.

3. It wasn't my fault, because I'm allowed to be attracted to someone.

4. It wasn't my fault, because I did say no to him.

5. It wasn't my fault, because I was afraid of him and what he could do.

6. It wasn't my fault, because I was afraid to go to the police, because of the drugs in my system.

7, it wasn't my fault, because he planned and knew what he was going to do to me.

Wow, that was hard to do. I feel a little bit triggered for some reason.

Edited by J725c

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I think I have to try this - really been struggling with shame and blaming myself recently :tear:

*possible trigger*

1)It was really my fault because I was dressed up and I wanted him to see me look nice

2)It was really my fault because I knew what kind of man he was and I still went around

3)It was really my fault because I got drunk and we'd kissed before when drunk, I gave him mixed signals

4)It was really my fault because I was confused during and I gave wrong signals

5)It was really my fault because I saw him and spent time with him afterwards

6)It was really my fault because of *something I cant write/admit to on here* - I must have wanted it

7)It was really my fault because maybe deep down somewhere I wanted to but I changed my mind. I'm a tease.

1)It wasn't my fault because wanting him to find me attractive did not mean I wanted s*x with him

2)It wasn't my fault because I thought we were friends, I thought it was safe

3)It wasn't my fault because I said no quite firmly before I had a drink

4)It wasn't my fault because I was drunk and unable to give consent

5)It wasn't my fault because I was trying to make sense of things, I still needed my friend

6)It wasn't my fault because this is a natural reaction I cannot control

7)It wasn't my fault because I'm allowed to be confused, I'm allowed to change my mind and 'no' means 'NO' not 'wear me down and make me feel bad until I say yes'

I think I will need to read and re-read the second list many times before I find peace

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Ok new here... Here i go

It wasn't my fault - Because I never realised it was happening again

It wasn't my fault- Nothing seemed worse than the first guy so everything with him was different and could never be as bad

It wasn't my fault- I did because I knew it pleased him

It wasn't my fault- I knew he liked see me choke on him

It wasn't my fault- He grabbed my breasts hard and bruised me

It wasn't my fault- He would try to strangle me although I would beg him to stop

It wasn't my fault- He liked it rough and didn't, but he didn't care about my pleasure

It wasnt' my fault- He would perform anal sex on me although I told him to stop so many times

It wasn't my fault- I let it happen , I couldn't stop him, he was too strong

It wasn't my fault- He got turned on by seeing me hurt

It wasn't my fault- I never called it abuse

It wasn't my fault- I would wake up in the middle of the night to him on top of me Fucking me, and i would just let him do it to show how little I cared and how it was doing nothing for me

It wasn't my fault- The times he tried to strangle me I was waiting for the moment I would pass out

It wasn't my fault- he left me drained emotionally

It wasn't my fault- He left me sore and bruised

it wasn't =my fault - i let it happen over and over

it wasnt my fault- It wasn't even a stranger in a dark alley way, it was someone I knew and trusted

It wasn't my fault- I never saw it coming

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1. It was really my fault because he was younger than I was.

2. It was really my fault because I wanted to do it.

3. It was really my fault because I 'bragged' about it to look like I was cool.

4. It was really my fault because I still love him so much.

5. It was really my fault because we were so close.

6. It was really my fault because he would never do anything to hurt me.

1. It wasn't really my fault because I was 8 and didn't have the skills to stop it.

2. It wasn't my fault because at 8 I couldn't understand sexual urges so how could I 'want' it, and even if I had, I couldn't have understood the impact it would have on me.

3. It wasn't really my fault because 'bragging' was a way of protecting myself, of trying to make it seem 'right' and 'good' rather than how dirty and disgusting I actually felt by it all.

4. It wasn't my fault because I am a loving person, I was brought up to love all my family - I can still love the part of him that is separate from his actions.

5. It wasn't really my fault because being close was what allowed it to happen - being close to someone is alovely thing, why would I ever try to avoid that, especially as a child when I didn't know it would lead to anything bad. And why would I give up the closeness when so much else had already been taken away from me?

6. He was a child too, so of course he couldn't understand the full emotional impact on me (and him) of what he did - but that doesn't stop what happened having a lasting impact on me. Perhaps on him too.

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It was really my fault because it didn't hurt me, not physically.

It was really my fault because I was the bad kid.

It was really my fault because I lied a lot.

It was really my fault because he was the adult.

It was really my fault because I deserved it.

It was really my fault because I was vulnerable.

It wasn't my fault because I was four.

It wasn't my fault because I didn't know it was wrong.

It wasn't my fault because I thought he was supposed to be the good guy.

It wasn't my fault because I couldn't say no.

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1. It was really my fault because he was drunk and i could've easily got away.

2. It was really my fault because I told no one

3. It was really my fault because I never screamed.

4. It was really my fault because at one point i stopped resisting.

5. It was really my fault because at one point i welcomed it.

6. It was really my fault because I instigated it.

1. It wasn't my fault because I was 3 years old.

2. It wasn't my fault because he was 30.

3. It wasn't my fault because he threatened my tiny life.

4. It wasn't my fault because at one point it was something so normal if felt weird when i wasnt terrified.

5. It wasn't my fault because just because it was his way of punishment did not make it ok

6. It wasn't my fault because someone shouldve been protecting me.

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Hi,

This is my first post on here. I thought I'd give this exercise a go - there are still a couple of thing's that I can't find a 'wasn't my fault' response to. But this exercise has reminded me of some thing's I'd forgotten, especially the telling him he couldn't stay in my room and the getting changed in the bathroom.

1. It really was my fault because I said he could stay in my room as his room mate snores.

2. It really was my fault because I’d had too much to drink.

3. It really was my fault because I let him follow me back to my room.

4. It really was my fault because I didn’t tell him to go back to his own hotel when he was at my door.

5. It really was my fault because I wore little shorts to bed.

6. It really was my fault because I let him get in my bed.

7. It really was my fault because I let him hug and kiss me goodnight.

8. It really was my fault because I gave in.

9. It really was my fault because I was on top at some point.

1. It wasn’t my fault because I found out that my room was a double room and it meant we’d have to share a bed so I told him he wouldn’t be able to stay in my room.

2. It wasn’t my fault because I’m old enough to have a drink and thought I was in the company of trusted friends.

3. It wasn’t my fault because I didn’t realise he was following me until he was at my door.

4. It wasn’t my fault because…

5. It wasn’t my fault because I got changed in the bathroom away from him into my normal shorts and baggy T-Shirt PJ’s.

6. It wasn’t my fault because…

7. It wasn’t my fault because…

8. It wasn’t my fault because I’d said no so many times I’d lost count, even to the point of punching him to try and get him to stop.

9. It wasn’t my fault because by this time I’d gone numb.

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1. It was really my fault because I went out without money

2. It was really my fault because I was depressed

3. It was really my fault because I knew what he wanted, and still went with him

4. It was really my fault because I have rape fantasies

5. It was really my fault because I loved him

6. It was really my fault because I believed him

1. It wasn't my fault because even if I didn't say no, I didn't say yes

2. It wasn't my fault because I told them no multiple times before giving up

3. It wasn't my fault because I am a person, not a sex object

4. It wasn't my fault because I don't have a high sex drive, and I don't need to be ashamed of that.

5. It wasn't my fault because I know the difference between fantasy and reality

6. It wasn't my fault because they should have known better

I don't know why the "It was really my part" is there, since that seems to reinforce negative thoughts. Unless you're supposed to counter the "my faults" with the "not my faults", in which case I may have done this wrong. thanks for sharing this with us, and thanks to everyone who has shared.

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It was my fault because I let him do it

It was my fault because I didn't scream or fight

It was my fault because I sort of enjoyed it at the beginning

It was my fault because I didn't tell

It was my fault because I let it continue for so many years

It was my fault because I love him

It wasn't my fault because I didn't understand what he was doing at first then I couldn't stop it

It wasn't my fault because he was too strong

It wasn't my fault because it was my body's natural response

It wasn't my fault because I was so scared

It wasn't my fault because I couldn't stop it and he wouldn't react to my running away from him and pushing him away

It wasn't my fault because he's my brother and I admired and looked up to him for so long

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it was my fault because i didn't fight back

it was my fault because i didn't tell

it was my fault because it was the only skin touch i had besides my mother's beatings (one of them was going to get me one way or the other) so sometimes it was easier to endure so i would go to him.

it was my fault because i didn't run away

it was my fault because i tested smarter in intelligence than he and still couldn't stop him no matter what i tried.

it wasn't my fault because i was three feet tall

it wasn't my fault because in my art and poems from early years, it was obvious and no one said or did a thing to stop him or protect me.

it wasn't my fault because it was the closest i ever got to nurturing and human children need touch

it wasn't my fault because where exactly was i to go? They were bigwigs, i was a toddler. by my teen years, i found drugs and forgot

it wasn't my fault because he was so much older, in a position of authority, and it doesn't take much brains to manipulate a baby

whew! that felt good to say that last part. i can also see where some of my confusion is, like i chose him over her. I don't think that is really choice when you are a toddler.

Sheez,why would any sane person put a child in a position like that anyway?

No wonder i thought life was a war zone for so long after i left them.

thanks to who ever started this. ellen bass and laura davis get it.

Edited by Liz

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I've really been struggling with shame and guilt so i'm going to try this..

1. It was really my fault because _I should have seen the signs

2. It was really my fault because I shouldn't have stayed the night

3. It was really my fault because his friend tried to warn me in a weird way.

1. It wasn't my fault because I told him I never move that fast

2. It wasn't my fault because I told him to stop

3. It wasn't my fault because he waited til i had taken my sleep medication and was asleep

4. It wasn't my fault because He had a plan and no matter what he was going to do it

5. It wasn't my fault because ____________________________________

6. It wasn't my fault because ____________________________________

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It was my fault - I let it happen again and again. The first time I left should have been the last time. I never should have gone back.

It wasn't mt fault - he is a bastard who deliberately hurt me mentally, emotionally, physically and sexually because HE wanted to. NO ONE EVER DESERVES THAT - I DIDN'T.

This is my mantra and I will keep repeating it till I believe it.

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It really was my fault because I didn't tell him I didn't like it

It really was my fault because I led him on

It really was my fault because although I was scared, I didn't end it

It really was my fault because I let it get to me

It wasn't my fault because just because I didn't explicitly say 'stop', he should have known to ask

It wasn't my fault because he was older and should have known better

It wasn't my fault because he made me stay

It wasn't my fault because it would make anyone upset, and I'm completely normal.

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This is brilliant!!

SA 2004

1. It was my fault because he was my friend's brother/brother's friend and they have good judgement

2. It was my fault because I had had a couple of drinks

3. It was my fault because I went into his room when he said he wanted to talk about my brother

4. It was my fault because I didn't know how to stop him

5. It was my fault because everyone told me so

6. It was my fault because I can't remember everything that happened anymore and I have doubts

1. It wasn't my fault because he took advantage of me

2. It wasn't my fault because he did the same thing to 3 other girls in the same week

3. It wasn't my fault because.....I can't think of anything else

SA 2012

1. It was my fault because I went to his house

2. It was my fault because we had kissed once before

3. It was my fault because I consented to a (professional) massage

4. It was my fault because I didn't read the signs

5. It was my fault because I froze up

6. It was my fault because I didn't leave straight away

1. It wasn't my fault because he has a wife and child - I didn't expect anything to happen especially in their own home

2. It wasn't my fault because he had massaged me before and was very professional

3. It wasn't my fault because I thought we were friends

4. It wasn't my fault because I didn't expect it to happen and I didn't want it to happen

5. It wasn't my fault because I was in an extremely vulnerable position and he took advantage of me in so many ways

6. It wasn't my fault because he admitted he did something wrong (eventually)

The last one is still very fresh (barely 6 months old) so thank you for giving all of us the opportunity to recognise these feelings of self-blame and help us feel validated and normal!

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thank you for this exercise and all the brave people who have posted. here goes:

when i was 6, it was my fault because:

-i agreed to it

-i wanted him to finish his part of the agreement

-i didn't tell anyone

-i probably enjoyed it

-he was my brother and i was dirty for agreeing

-he was only 10 and innocent

-i have forgiven him and feel compassion for him

not my fault because:

-i don't remember what happened leading up to it or even how/if i agreed, i couldn't have come up with the idea or understood what it meant

-he violated my trust; i was taught to be fair, and he broke the agreement

-i didn't feel safe telling anyone and had learned that our family NEVER dealt with serious stuff

-my body had natural reactions that i can't control, and i can't even remember if i liked it

-i loved trusted and looked up to my brother, i was too young to understand what was wrong about seeking affection in that way from him

-i was 6 and innocent, he had been abused already and should have known what he did to me was wrong

-my ability to forgive and have compassion for him is what i'm choosing to do, and what i feel in my heart

when i was sexually active as a teen and young adult, it was my fault because:

-i was a slut/dirty whore and it was all i was worth

-i never said no

-i wanted it and liked it

-i provoked the guys

-i was overtly sexual

-i sought out validation and attention from men

-i did really shitty things to others and deserved it

not my fault because:

-my sexual experience was perceived to be excessive due to double standards--if i was a guy it'd be accepted. i am a whole person, and i deserve to be sexual AND loved fully.

-i did say no sometimes, but i was so disconnected/dissociated i didn't feel i had a right to say no, or i was ignored or coerced. with my history i couldn't have stood up for myself more because i didn't have the foundation to

-it was natural to feel pleasure, excitement & power, and my body reacted in healthy normal ways, doing what it is supposed to do as a teen and as a human

-my provocation was out of needing validation, feedback and love, and that was what i'd learned would get it for me

-my overt sexuality was my lost innocence learned at an early age and not an open invitation to treat me like a whore--only valued for part of who i am

-my seeking validation, love, affection, security & feedback was a normal response, especially because i felt invisible, confused and unworthy

-i didn't learn how to deal with feelings in healthy ways, or even recognize what my feelings were, so acting out my anger & power & numbness was an understandable boiling point reaction i had--without the understanding, support or healthy outlets for those feelings--i did the best i could and sometimes made mistakes.

thank you, whew!

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i need to try something so here gose's

it was really my fault because i meet him

it was really my fault because i stayed with him

it was really my fault because i let him i gave up i just could not fight back

it was really my fault because i i let him drug me

it was really my fault because i cos if i was i was a better child my perants would of known

it was really my fault because i care to much for others

it was really my fault because i cared for my family and my sister

it was really my fault because i cos should of said something

it was really my fault because i thats all i felt i was good for

it was really my fault because i i said i love him

there were 5 all told one was my brother,1 was my boyfriend one a 18 year old boy the main one and his friend in a car

im so a shamed all this in 6 months its hearlly hard,im sorry

It wasn't my fault because he said he'd kill my family

It wasn't my fault because i had to stay for my family sake

It wasn't my fault because he'd rape me evry few

It wasn't my fault because he made me drink something that had drugs in it

It wasn't my fault because cos my mum and dad did not care about me and just let me suffer

It wasn't my fault because i tryed to be a good child and was i was caring to them i had to do this for them omg i feel sick

It wasn't my fault because that he use my light inside me to get what he wanted oh god all i ever wanted to was help people in eny was i could that was how i was and this son of a bich toke that from me my soul hurts and my heart one day i will tell u but i cant now im sorry thank you tho i tryed sorry

Edited by kas

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It was my fault because I left the door unlocked.

It was my fault because I didn't scream.

It was my fault because I didn't fight him physically.

It was my fault because I was sleeping naked.

It was my fault because I couldn't identify him.

It was my fault because my body responded to him a little bit.

It was my fault because I left a note on the door telling my roommate to have a good weekend out of town, letting people who passed by my dorm room know I was alone in the room.

It wasn't my fault because no one has the right to enter my room without my permission.

It wasn't my fault because I was awakened from a deep sleep and had trouble processing what happened.

It wasn't my fault because he threatened me with a gun.

It wasn't my fault because I can be naked in the privacy of my own home.

It wasn't my fault because it was dark and I couldn't see him without my glasses.

It wasn't my fault that stimulus affected my body. I could control my thoughts.

It wasn't my fault because I should still have safety even when others know I'm alone.

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This is my first post, might as well try to tackle my inability to place blame where it belongs.

It was my fault because I trusted him

It was my fault because I should have known a 19 year old interested in high school freshmen was a predator

It was my fault because I couldn't get any words out

It was my fault because I didn't tell anyone

It was my fault because I refused to believe it

It was my fault because I kept talking to him

It was my fault because I took the drinks he gave me

It was my fault because I was being rebellious

It was my fault because at 15 I thought I was an adult

It was my fault because I orgasmed

It wasn't my fault because he knew he had to gain my trust in order for his plan to work

It wasn't my fault because I at 15 you think older guys are cool, and they should know better

It wasn't my fault because even if I had said yes it would be considered statutory rape

It wasn't my fault because I had been drugged

It wasn't my fault because I was confused, and in denial

It wasn't my fault because denial is a survival mechanism

It wasn't my fault because I cannot control my body

It wasn't my fault because he is the predator, he is the criminal, he deserves the shame, the flashbacks, the nightmares, the difficulty getting any relationship off the ground, the insomnia, the anxiety, the panic attacks.

WOW that actually felt really good, I didn't think making two lists could be so helpful. Thank you for sharing this exercise.

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Age 1-7

It was my fault.

It was my fault because I let it keep happening.

It was my fault because I dissociated and repressed it, causing me to completely forget it all until age 17.

It was my fault because I refused to disclose, even when showing all the signs and worrying my Mom like crazy.

It was my fault because I needed the attention and love.

It was my fault because perpatrators kept finding me and using me.

It was my fault because I kept going back for more.

It wasn't my fault because I was too young to understand.

It wasn't my fault because I couldn't protect myself as an infant.

It wasn't my fault because they were strong and powerful and could manipulate me.

It wasn't my fault because I did not like it and was scared.

It wasn't my fault because I grew up with it and thought it was normal.

Age 9

It was my fault because I let him come in the tent with me.

It was my fault because I did not tell anyone.

It was my fault because I dissociated again and did not remember.

It wasn't my fault because I was still a child.

It wasn't my fault because I was still accustomed to it.

It wasn't my fault because HE was the perpatrator!

Age 18

It was my fault because I knew he wanted to hurt me, and I still went over to his house.

It was my fault because I can't say no.

It was my fault because I went back 2 more times.

It was my fault because I am a bad person.

It was my fault because I deserve it.

It was my fault because I let him hurt me.

it was my fault...

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