Lis

It Wasn't Your Fault - An Exercise

289 posts in this topic

It was my fault because I flirted with him.

It was my fault because I was giggling

It was my fault because I didn't say "No" forcefully enough

It was my fault because his girlfriend was my friend

It was my fault because I was super down for making out

It was my fault because I was dressed like a slut

It was my fault because I was drunk

It wasn't my fault because I was drunk and unable to consent

It wasn't my fault because I said no. Repeatedly.

It wasn't my fault because he chose what he did to me.

It wasn't my fault because he wouldn't let me go.

It wasn't my fault because he took advantage of my mental state.

It wasn't my fault because I didn't really understand what was happening.

It wasn't my fault because society told me I was supposed to like it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think I'm ready to take part in this just yet, but reading through everyone else's posts is amazing... I can see a lot of what my own answers would be in them.

Thank you for posting this.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This was hard, but I did it.

It was my fault:

1. because I didn't tell anyone.

2. because I didn't fight and I let her do it.

3. because I chose to do what she asked me to do.

4. because I went back to her for 2 years.

5. because there were times when she didn't threaten me.

6. because I would orgasm.

It wasn't my fault:

1. because I felt threatened; I couldn't tell anyone.

2. because it hurt less when I just laid there.

3. because I was forced to choose between rape and being forced "out," between rape and being bullied.

4. because she had all of the control in the relationship.

5. because the threats were implied; because I was just trying to survive.

6. because my body was just doing what it's supposed to do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It was my fault because I drank too much.

It was my fault because my dress was way too short, and my heels were too high.

It was my fault because I danced provocatively with my best friend.

It was my fault for going with him and his friends time the hotel.

It was my fault because I didn't leave when my best friend left.

It was my fault because I didn't fight harder.

It was my fault for not leaving the hotel room.

It wasn't my fault because he drugged my drink at the end of the night.

It wasn't my fault because it was his choice to do this to me.

It wasn't my fault because he drugged me,put my arm around his shoulder, and helped me walk to his hotel as I repeatedly fell down and couldn't make my legs work.

It is not my fault, he made me tell my best friend I was fine and to leave me there.I was in and out of consciousness, and said it on autopilot, because I was not capable of forming a thought, and repeated what he told me to say.

It is not my fault, because I begged him to let me leave. Told him I was a mother. I was incapable of fighting back in the state I was in.

It is not my fault, because he blocked my way out, and I lost consciousness trying to leave.

IT IS NOT MY FAULT, because he singled me out at the bar towards closing time, drugged my drink, would not leave my side till we were at his hotel, he got my friend to leave me there with him, and refused to let me leave.

It is NOT MY FAULT, because I was drugged and unable to consent.

It is not my fault, because this was his choice. Not mine.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am not ready to write something at now.

I believe that it was my fault and nothing can changed that. I was weak..just that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First time poster.. but here goes..

1. It was my fault because I shouldn't have been skipping school

2. It was my fault because I'd been told I wasnt allowed there while his parents weren't home.

3. It was my fault because I let him talk me into it.

4. It was my fault because I didn't run

5. It was my fault because I didn't fight. I just froze.

6. It was my fault because I eventually ended up enjoying to interaction.

It was NOT my fault because;

1. I was a child & I had no idea what I was consenting to..

That's all I've got.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It was my fault because I never said NO

It was my fault because I liked some of it

It was my fault because I never told anyone

It was my fault because I went back there

It was my fault because I was always bad

It wasn't my fault because I was 7yrs old the first time

It wasn't my fault because I had no one to tell that would have heard me

It wasn't my fault because I didn't know I could say no

It wasn't my fault because I didn't have any boundaries in my life

It wasn't my fault because I didn't know I could have a voice

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

it was my fault because i let him sleep in my bed

it was my fault because i then had consexual sex with him while drunk

it was my fault because i never said no

it was my fault because i went with it after the first bit because i thought if i went with it it wouldn't be rape

it was my fault because i don't remember parts of the night before

it wasnt my fault because when he started i was asleep

it wasn't my fault because even though i was drunk i had got myself safely home

it wasn't my fault because i was just sleeping in my own bed

it wasn't my fault because i would never have consented to a*** sex regardless of how drunk i was the night before

it wasn't my fault because i am not a rapist

it wasn't my fault because freezing is a natural response

it wasn't my fault because he chose to do what he did

it was his fault because he even apologised the next day

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I want to do it too! But dang, this is hard, heh.

It was my fault because I married him.

It was my fault because I liked it sometimes.

It was my fault because sometimes I consented.

It was my fault because I stopped saying no.

It was my fault because I kept letting him do it time after time.

It was my fault because I have weird breast issues that he couldn't have known about.

It was my fault because I chose him for his quality of stubbornly going after what he wanted; I should have seen it coming.

It wasn't my fault because marriage doesn't mean he owns my body or my sexuality. It means we are legally family and that's it.

It wasn't my fault because I made my boundaries clear when I did or didn't want him to do something. There was no need for guessing on his end.

It wasn't my fault because it's normal and human to want affection from and to feel desire for one's partner, and one consensual act is one consensual act only.

It wasn't my fault because having my many "no"s ignored time after time had a deep psychological impact. I did my part; he did not do his, which was to listen.

It wasn't my fault because no one wants to believe that the person they love the most could hurt them so deeply. Any person would make excuses in that scenario.

It wasn't my fault because I have gender dysphoria, or some other kind of dysphoria relating to my breasts being touched. This isn't something I want to have or am able to ignore. I was vocal about this and it was his job to listen if he truly loved me.

It wasn't my fault because you can be stubborn about obtaining what you want, while still having empathy for others and choosing to put their safety before your desires.

He keeps guilt-tripping me by insisting he didn't know, and his action were completely innocent. Even I have to keep reminding myself how many times I spoke up and he chose to ignore me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1. It was really my fault because

I went back around him even after I knew it was wrong. ____________________________________

2. It was really my fault because

Even though I didn't like it, I let him do it because he let me play his Nintendo. ____________________________________

3. It was really my fault because

I never told anyone, after he got caught, that he never stopped. ____________________________________

4. It was really my fault because

I never really said no. ____________________________________

5. It was really my fault because

I never told anyone everything he did to me. Maybe if I had, they would have made him move. ____________________________________

6. It was really my fault because

Even though it hurt, I still went around him. ____________________________________

1. It wasn't my fault because

I didn't know own it was wrong. He said it was normal, but our "family secret" ____________________________________

2. It wasn't my fault because

He abused the trust I had in him. I was a young child. ____________________________________

3. It wasn't my fault because

My parents knew about it and they still let him live with us. ____________________________________

4. It wasn't my fault because

I was scared to tell my mom it didn't stop because I was afraid she'd kill him and then she'd go to jail ____________________________________

5. It wasn't my fault because

He made the choice to hurt me. ____________________________________

6. It wasn't my fault because

He had abused before me and he never should have lived with us. ____________________________________

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's my fault because I went alone. 

It's my fault because I didn't try to get away immediately.

It's my fault because I shouldn't of bit him. If I just performed oral, he wouldn't of beaten and raped me. 

It's my fault because I had an erection, I orgasmed during the attack. 

It's my fault because I didn't tell anybody, I let him go to hurt other kids. 

It's my fault because I'm too weak in mind and body to get over it myself. 

It's my fault because I didn't make it clear enough that I wasn't interested. 

It's my fault because I'm the one who hit her. 

It's not my fault because I had every right to use any public facilities without needing a guardian to hold my hand all the time.

It's not my fault because freezing is a common reaction to a situation you don't know how to analyse, especially for a child, you weren't even 12 yet. 

It's not my fault because I reacted on instinct, he's the one who shouldn't of done that in the first place. He was probably going to rape you either way.

It's not my fault because arousal is not something humans consciously control. It's a physiological response, automatic, and in no shape or form does it mean you "wanted it" or enjoyed it. He's a fucking liar. 

It's not my fault because I did what I had to at the time to survive. He threatened you, he made you feel scared, ashamed, guilty, disgusting, almost every boy in your position would of done the same thing. It was about survival. Anything he did after he attacked you is entirely on him, not you. You did nothing wrong. (I'm trying really hard to believe this, but deep down I still believe I fucked up by staying quiet) 

It's not my fault because the trauma is real, and you actually are strong enough to get over this. It took so much strength to do it alone for all these years, even Dad said that. You don't have to do it alone anymore. You now have the your friends and family who are more than happy to lend you strenth. 

It wasn't your fault because you absolutely did make it clear. Body language, hand gestures and all made it clear. You told her to wait, besides you were a child, she was an adult, of course she was in the wrong. 

It wasn't your fault because you have a right to defend yourself from any physical or sexual assault. It does not matter the gender of the perp, and it doesn't matter if you were the same size, or even bigger or stronger, it doesn't mean you need to tolerate abuse from anyone. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1. It was really my fault because I was the one to start talking to him.

2. It was really my fault because even when he started touching me a bit more, I didn't stop him.

3. It was really my fault because I went outside with him.

4. It was really my fault because I waited too long to fight back.

5. It was really my fault because I didn't scream out for help.

6. It was really my fault because I should have realised what was going to happen.

 

1. It wasn't my fault because it was a simple conversation out of being nice.

2. It wasn't my fault because even though we were getting along really well, he shouldn't have been touching a fifteen year old.

3. It wasn't my fault because in that time in my life I was going through problems and really just needed someone to talk to. He made me happy and I wanted to continue the conversation.

4. It wasn't my fault because I didn't know if I wanted it or not. I wasn't even expecting it...

5. It wasn't my fault because I was shocked. I couldn't have.

6. It wasn't my fault because...this one is hard.... I really SHOULD HAVE expected it...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It was my fault because I drank too much

It was my fault because I didn't say no

It was my fault because I let him walk me to my car

It was my fault because when he suggested sitting in the back seat I said ok.

It wasn't my fault because I have a right to drink as much as I want

It wasn't my fault because sometimes it's not easy to just say no

It wasn't my fault because I trusted that he would walk me back

It wasn't my fault because there is no harm in sitting in the back seat of a car

Thank you, this is something I'm going to use to help me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1. It was really my fault because I agreed.

2. It was really my fault because I let him.

3. It was really my fault because I never said no, not in the moment.

4. It was really my fault because I didn't try to push him away.

5. It was really my fault because I didn't fight him.

6. It was really my fault because I let him.

1. It wasn't my fault because I was terrified, with good reason.

2. It wasn't my fault because he already knew, I didn't need to say anything.

3. It wasn't my fault because most people would stop after the person starts crying.

4. It wasn't my fault because 

5. It wasn't my fault because 

6. It wasn't my fault because 

It was really my fault because I let him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   You have pasted content with formatting.   Remove formatting

  Only 75 emoticons maximum are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor