Melanie

5 worst betrayals

161 posts in this topic

7 hours ago, pursuinggrace said:

adoptive father: CSA 11 years

mother: "how long will we have to suffer for what you went through,"" it could have been worse,"" apparently there is nothing wrong with you"

adoptive sister:聽"I knew it was happening, I thought you wanted it." I was 9-10

ex husband: rape, physical and emotional abuse

me: self-hatred and sabotage

I am so sorry. Who in their right mind says that to anybody, much less a child of 9-10??? And they knew about it and did nothing. I am so very sorry. You deserved tender loving care.

馃Andrew

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1) After my first csa, at 5 years old by a teen boy... we were robbed. Within days my mom started beating me for punishment. What would have been a few swats with a belt, became 8-10 lashes with a belt. Not my twin, not my 2 yr younger brother...me.聽

2) Around age 7, in a grocery story, mom knocked my head with twin head, I was stunned and fell to the floor head first knocking me out for a few minutes. She left me there while goin down one aisle and coming back up the next...

3) age 15, got beat up by 13 yr old girl same size as me, because I didn't sit with her at a bonfire. Her older sister stopped her from kicking me while I was on the ground.

4) age 17, summer romance who used me to make her ex jealous... totally destroyed what little self esteem I had.聽

5) age 20, caught in the act attempting sui at work, while in the Marines a few days after my first adult sa by a female. The Marines did nothing, no help no mental health eval...nothing...

6) groomed by male predator who then sa me 2X . Threatened to falsely out was gay, and then kill me and hide my body so family couldn't bury me.

7) dv/sa by wife, victim shamed by her also.

馃Andrew

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I

13 hours ago, LionheartedAndrew said:

I am so sorry. Who in their right mind says that to anybody, much less a child of 9-10??? And they knew about it and did nothing. I am so very sorry. You deserved tender loving care.

馃Andrew

It was cruel to say the least, but I was 18 and she was 26 when she said it to me. I was 9-10 when she lived with us for about a year, she was referring to that time (she was 17-18.)聽I didn't know how to respond, it was like my brain couldn't register what she was saying, it was like a verification that I was worthless, I thought no one knew or cared, then I found out someone knew and didn't care.聽:tear:

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I'm sorry @LionheartedAndrew:hug:

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3 hours ago, pursuinggrace said:

I

It was cruel to say the least, but I was 18 and she was 26 when she said it to me. I was 9-10 when she lived with us for about a year, she was referring to that time (she was 17-18.)聽I didn't know how to respond, it was like my brain couldn't register what she was saying, it was like a verification that I was worthless, I thought no one knew or cared, then I found out someone knew and didn't care.聽:tear:

My goodness...I am so sorry. I would have hugged you and held you tight snuggled in a blanket. And taken you away from those poor excuses for humans. She was as sick as them. I know and I care, my friend, dear and precious friend.聽:hug:

馃馃挐馃専馃寛馃挄馃挆馃尭馃馃嵀鉂わ笍馃尯馃尮馃馃馃槉馃尲馃尰馃尫馃巿

馃Andrew

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2 hours ago, pursuinggrace said:

I'm sorry @LionheartedAndrew:hug:

After all these years Mom had finally turned a new leaf( well actually 5 years ago). And now that has been deeply stained with the past. I don't know what will happen with that.

Sigh.....

馃Andrew

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I have several betrayals, but the one that hurt me most for me, was that of my abuser himself. I had confided in him about my mental health, and he used that to his advantage. He manipulated, brainwashed, and isolated me to the point where I didn't think that I could survive without him.

The other betrayal came from my mother. She makes me feel like I can't talk about what happened and always asks me why I'm still thinking about it, and why I haven't just forgotten about it.聽

The last one came from my church, mainly the church ladies who still believe that my abuser is a good guy, and want him to come back to the church, even though my pastor expelled him from coming to church or church activities.聽

I was betrayed by the police who wouldn't arrest my abuser due to "lack of evidence".聽

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I am so sorry you were betrayed by those who should have your back.聽:metoyou:

Safe聽:hug:if okay.

馃Andrew

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@Joaa25聽I am sorry you were betrayed by people who should have protected you. I hope that you find support and healing here.聽:metoyou:

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1) Dad when he started doing the awful things to me

2) Mom when she did not leave Dad, blamed me, pathologized me, locked me up in psych hospitals, screamed at me, kicked me out of the house

3) Brother when he molested me. I could take his beatings. But not that.

4) Ex-fiancee when she let her mother think that I physically abused her and did not let me come back to our apartment for any reason when I had never hurt her.

5) Ex-boyfriend when he raped me, humiliated me and threatened me.聽

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@Shadowsong:metoyou:

馃

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