Melanie

5 worst betrayals

148 posts in this topic

*T*, maybe

First one when I was nine, and a family friend babysat me for the weekend. After three days of "tickle parties" and "cuddle sessions" where he'd stick his hand down my pants and up my shirt I felt completely filthy and at the time I didn't know why. So after my mom and her husband (dad's dead) got home, it took a while to say what happened. And while my mom was up in arms about it, my step dad said "are you sure you're not lying? Justin would never do something like that, he's been my best friend for years. Are you sure you aren't lying?"

When I was sixteen my step dad molested me also, so that betrayal makes more sense now.

The second one is going on right now. My step dad is no longer living in my house because I told my mom and she kicked him out, but after that she never spoke about it again. Then she started talking about how nasty I am, how I'm a whore, how ungrateful and manipulative and unpleasant I am. But I still was in pain, so I tried to talk to her about the triggers I was having. she responded with "well you need to figure all that out. None of us have time for that sort of turmoil, you need to sort it out."

Okay, mindf**k. The first one was easy to handle, mainly because it was explained later. But this one? The woman who's been in my corner my whole life is now scorning me, making me feel like I don't deserve to feel the pain that I do (that's the most mind-f**king part, I don't believe I deserve to be here anymore), and on top of it all, inviting him over every few days to mow the lawn, fix the sink, go over bill payments and generally just hang out. And I can't help but stew in my own hopelessness, there's no way to get over it when you live under her roof and your abuser comes over every weekend to visit. Gah.

~ash

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The worst betrayal for me was the reaction of my best friend at the time. When I had told her what happened she simply said "That sucks" and then went on to tell me about the highlights she got in her hair. Pretty soon she stopped picking up the phone. She didn't stick up for me and her abandonment was more painful than the rape. 14 years of friendship down the drain.

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1. When he promised me he'd never make me cry again after he got drunk and started calling me names the first time.

2. He knew he had a problem, but just kept doing the same s**t over and over again.

3. My mom telling me that I need to stop talking about my SA to my boyfriend because I'll "push him away"

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How did you/were you able to come to a place where you experienced these things as betrayals? I feel like I should be able to do this exercise and yet when I try to pull 5, literally nothing comes to mind. My thoughts go blank...

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My father

My sister

My pediatrician

My mother did/did not believe me, but did nothing.

Nobody believed me until I was 20, but nothing was done to protect me, for fear of family and social scandal. Instead, I was placed on a locked ward in a very fancy private psychiatric hospital for a year, to keep me from talking. I had no diagnosis-merely warehoused to protect my parents' reputation. Things were very different in the 1950's...

I am 74, still fragile, suffering from long-term PTSD and Major Depression.

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I can't imagine a worse betrayal against another human being than being raped.

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1. My brother for r**ing me.

2. My mother for covering it up and making me keep it a secret.

3. My mother again for telling me graphic rape stories from 10 years old and older even knowing I was a traumatized r**e victim.

4. My therapist when I was a teen not believing me when I mentioned molestation in my past, making me unable to talk about it again and he never asked.

5. My sister for telling me our brother didn't "have that vibe" about him when I told her.

Edited by Kiandra

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1. My brother who chose to molest and frighten me my entire growing up, and threatened to kill me if I told

2. My mother for letting him molest me (I told her every single time but she never did a thing and kept it from my father, who is now dead)

3. When I told my other siblings after I grew up, they chose to blame me and I lost them also

4. My mother has my abuser brother over every holiday, and I spend them alone as a single mom

5. Religion -- I am/was just supposed to "forgive," and move on and act like it never happened or else it is me with the problem

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1. my abuse happened when i was like 4 and only twice so i don't really have proof who did it. my therapist kept asking me who i thought did it. so i answered who i thought had did it at that point in time, reminding her i wasn't really sure. however, she decided to call DYFAS. thankfully they said since there was no proof of anything i did not have to report. I am glad I didn't report because the more I think about, I think that man may be a little weird and was around when this happened but I don't think he actually did anything wrong.

2. the second and much more hurtful was i lost my best friend due to her lack of understanding. i was having an awful day full of flashbacks. she could tell i was upset so i told her i was having bad thoughts because of what happened to me when i was little. i did not go into the details of what i was envisioning because i didn't want to upset her. then we went out shopping. i managed to go shopping for about 4 hours but afterward i felt very triggered and told my friend i need to go home and asked if she would drop me back at my house. she refused. so then i began having a large panic attack so i ran to the car. we fought afterward and i made up my mind that she really did not understand me and i didn't want to be her friend anymore. we did text to try to resolve the problem but she kept insulting me via text so i decided she was not worth it. she basically told me see was sick of dealing with my disabilities (i have a few). and so does she, so you'd think she'd understand, but i guess not. now i am pretty much friendless, she was my rock for almost 10 years, now i really don't have anyone.

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I think my worst betrayal was myself. For acting like nothing had ever happened and everything was just fine for over 10 years.

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The biggest betrayal of the whole thing was the fact that he was my boyfriend when he started abusing me, and torturing me, then he got other boys to help, they paid him. He was my boyfriend he acted so sweet and nice and then WHAM sadistic b*stard overnight, and there was no escape since it was at school.

The other I would have to say the other teens for helping him and not helping me.

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My then boyfriend, for listening to me talk about having been SA'd, about my depression, s****de attempt and other mental health issues, to seem like it hurt him to know that I'd been hurt, and then to do thing like tell me I shouldn't ever mention s****de, he didn't want to know because it made him sad. (it made HIM sad? wow it's not like the how point it how sad i had been).

Then, of course, still him, after all that, for r*ping me. Again him for acting like it never happened.

A small part of me says me, too, for never doing anything about anything.

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My sister..molested and abused me sexually and mentally for years..Did all kinds of unbearable sick things to me..unimaginable things..

She was the one I adored and loved more then anything and anyone in the whole wide universe in all dimensions..until that day...

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*sitting with you* lonely up here. I'm sorry she betrayed you like that.

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My worst betrayal is when I told my now ex baby daddy that I was sexually abused since age 10-15 by a friends grandfather (we both were abused together) And when we had our son together we lived with his parents to save money. But when we would fight, he would scream out "why don't you go suck some old man cock" referring to the abuse I told him about.

The first year I had my son I visited my home town out of province , and while going downtown for the first time and being allowed to go out with friends,( because my ex was very controlling and did not let me go out. All my time was spent with my son while he was out with his friends!) and while out drinking, I decided to walk home and was followed by a man and then raped.

I never dealt with it for years, never told anyone. But after 5 years of being with my ex I told him hoping he would have some sort of brain and understand that when he says those nasty things to me it cuts deeper than he thinks. He actually several months later when I broke up with him , used it again me and told me

"IM GLAD YOU WERE RAPED YOU DESERVED IT & I WIsH THAT FUCKER WOULD HAVE FINISHED YOU OFF "

I will never get those words out of my head

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My sister..molested and abused me sexually and mentally for years..Did all kinds of unbearable sick things to me..unimaginable things..

She was the one I adored and loved more then anything and anyone in the whole wide universe in all dimensions..until that day...

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One of my worst was when my "friend" ended up telling me it was all my fault that I got hurt going to her birthday party which I didn't want to miss even though my abuser hated her. Then she MISSED my birthday party for A DATE with her boyfriend that was invitied to my birthday party... And the restaurant he took her to wasn't even good. She barely even apologized. I don't talk to her much anymore.

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The worse betrayal.... was myself even after i became a adult i didn't have the courage to escape until i was 25 i had attempted suicide on a 3 year circle since i was 7 years old up to 7 years ago. ( i am in a good place now and hadn't contemplated suicide in along time )

I was betrayed by my grandmother when she court my father in bed with me and blamed me at the age of 10 that i seduced him to the family

I felt betrayed at one point by my mother when i was 7 years old i though she know what was going on and didn't stop it.... i hated her for a long time

i didn't know she was being physically and mentally abused by my father and was forced to do things she didn't want to do. she was on many occasions black and blue and cut up when i eventually told her what was happening after a suicide attempt with bleach she divorced my father and had gotten joint custardy of me and my brother. (now me and my mother are best of friends.) she is the only family i have apart from my husbands family.

I feel betrayed by my brother he was abused physically by my father on a almost a daily bases he always took my fathers side and called me a lie that nothing happened to me as a child as i was a daddy's girl.and that all the beating he got he deserved them. years later i had to get a restraining order on my brother because he strangled me when he pined me up against a wall.after a argument with my ex wife

(Hence to say i have disowned him and no longer have a brother) after a comment he said that i was to dangerous to know.

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My worst betrayal is after I told my last boyfriend what happened to me between the age of 10 and 14, and then what happened with the man right before him, he still went and did the exact same thing to me. Talk about two faced. He said he wanted to help me heal when in reality, he was just using that as a way to finesse his way into my pants as well.

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My stepfather for abusing me he took advantage of the fact my father was not at there and remained that way up until recently.

My father who did not believe me and talked me out of going to court and the police. Also, saying "This doesn't sound right."

My mother beside my father agreeing she kicked out my stepfather for two weeks and then tells me he has to move in or we will be homeless.

My brother tricking me into seeing dad when I was not ready.

My sister for telling the whole family.

My other brother for keep bring it up after my sister told everyone.

My family the rest of them for not seeing if I'm okay at the least the one who know about it.

My fiance because he doesn't understand why I want to move away far far away.

I know that was more than five but hell it needed to come out lol

Edited by Cookinggal1991
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Hello Cookinggal1991,

I think that you are very brave for reaching out, I just wanted to clarify that I liked the last sentence of your post and NOT that you have been betrayed.

:metoyou:

Take gentle care

Lucy xx

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My now ex-husband accused me of sleeping with the guy who raped me, and that our son was really his. And he called me a w**** and went on the call me a liar about being raped. Later on, my now ex-husband raped me during the week of the five year anniversary of my being raped at school.

He didn't get it when I told him he was worse than the guy who raped me at school...

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My father the man who is responsible for it all that took advantage of me for all those years

that i thought

was to protect me and i was to trust

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