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5 worst betrayals


Melanie

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LionheartedAndrew

Guest Parents,

I am so very very sorry you were betrayed in such a manner. I am also sorry your bio-dad has a relationship with his younger child and not you as well.

Sitting with you. Safe :hug:if okay. :bouquet::metoyou:

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LionheartedAndrew

I have more to add to my list of betrayals.  I had new memories come back last week...

I was betrayed by the man my father trusted to watch me while he and mom were at the hospital. My baby brother had meningitis, and a temp of 106. They dropped me off at one house and my twin brother at another house.

The man digital an*l r*p* me 8 times over a 4 day weekend. Every night during bath time and again right after.  And then after dressed in pjs, dry hump me on his lap till he finished. I was just about 3 years old.

Also age 22 in Marines, tackled by drunk female sailor who then sa me.

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Guest Parents I can hear your pain and frustration. I'm sorry you were betrayed that way by them all and your mother retraumatized you. :bouquet:

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@LionheartedAndrew it saddens me you have so many betrayals in your life.thinking of you ?????

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LionheartedAndrew

@Mishi, thank you...I'm pretty blown away too. To think, none of this was known to me for all these years, and now 41 years of abuse history in less than 5 months...overload!!! :bouquet::hug::holdhands::heart::wub::holdhands:??????

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Safe hugs for eveyone, and anyone who wants some :hug:

I can't think about 5, but two recent ones from the same person:

1) She thought I wanted what happened to me. She tried to put some of HER logic in it. Proved she doesn't really know me. 

2) A few weeks ago, she said I didn't think know what love is... and I said: maybe you're right. Making me think again I was sellfish and I only cared for myself. 

The person who says she loves me, whi wants the best for me. Sometimes I feel lile she likes playing with my mind. Like she wsnts to get me really upset... 

She's just making me put some distance between us. The end of an era. 

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LionheartedAndrew
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As a secondary survivor being uppermost in my mind and the reason why I am on this site, I find it confusing to be responding to this from my own personal perspective as just me but here goes;

1. my dad, for his sa of my twin whilst I was asleep next to her

2. whoever it was that gave me body trigger that I have - the memory being someone from my left attempting to (can't write the words yet) but I was very young

3. my mum for not contacting authorities sooner and more often when all the violence was going on throughout my childhood

4. my first husband who, when I woke up whilst he was attempting to rape me, broke out into violence when I responded negatively

5. my family for not having my best interests at heart, for not being in anyway trustworthy, for meeting their own needs above mine, never really listening to me, just me.

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  • 2 weeks later...
LionheartedAndrew

@RosaRay:hug:

You mentioned several incidents that by definition make you a survivor. I am so very very sorry those things happened to you. You deserved none of it, nor your twin. :bouquet::metoyou:

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  • 1 year later...
Guest Cotswolds by the Fir

This is my first comment on this board; happy to have found this place.

 

My worst betrayal came from my mom. I told her about the molestation committed by my father (ages 7-9 I think) and she sent me back upstairs. She confronted him she said. The she gave me (a 9 year old!!) the option to have him leave, but "we wouldn't have any money or anything and we'll need to move in with your grandparents." She didn't prosecute, didn't even leave. The abuse stopped and I assume she told him she would literally murder him if he touched me again. She thought it was enough just to make it stop.

As an adult, I once confronted her, asking why she didn't leave. She replied, "What was I supposed to do? I didn't have a job. Who would have supported us?" It's such a victim mentality with her. Even now, I just told her I wouldn't be bringing my kids to their house anymore on long visits (they live 15 hours away). She seemed so betrayed, as if I was keeping them from her and not just trying to keep my kids from a dangerous situation WHERE MY DAD STILL LIVES. 

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God, I have a lifetime of,betrayals I couldent pinpoint five that hurt the most 

butnhere  are a few

when i miscaryed my two precious babies, mum basically blamed me for eating too much junk food instead of supporting me and comforting me. She blamed me

when I had to bury my stillborn son, I was callopsing on the ground next to his grave, mum told me, hurry up , the man wants to fill in the hole.

when I left my ex for good, he sent me a huge long text blaming me for killing my stillborn son. 

When my dad gave me his mums inheritance money, for me to start a savings fund for a house, my ex made me put both of our names on the bank card, and I found out yrs later he had slowly drained it all and put it through the pokies. Fuck I hated him for that. That one hurt so so bad

when I was a young girl, can’t rmeber how old, but too young, my uncle was sexually assaulting me, mum went off her nut at me for having an affair with her husbane, my dad. She blamed me for having sex with my dad. It wasent happening, she was just living in a fantasy world, but she full on thought I was having an affair with my dad.

yuk, I v triggered myself sorry gotta leave this here now??

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  • 2 years later...
1 hour ago, Guest julia272 said:

Worst betrayal for me is that my mom knew, saw the injuries, listened- and didn't give a f*ck. 

Sending care, Julia. I am sorry your mom didn’t care or help you. You deserved better.

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  • 1 month later...
Guest my roommates/friends

i told my roommates and friends about how i was sexually assaulted and they said how i should think about the consequences reporting it should have on him. i’m worried about the process of reporting him and i feel so alone in the apartment now that i’ve lost them as friends for wanting to report their friend who sexually assaulted and harmed me. i know i got this and i can feel better but it still feels hard to be around people who im mad at for their actions as such and being victim blames and i’m angry. i’m just experiencing a blowout and depresión and can’t wait to move but i know i can survive this. i know i can :) 

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Yes, you CAN survive this - and you deserve support from your friends. The person who assaulted you needs to take responsibility for their actions - that is not on you. 

Offering you support, whatever path you chose to take.

Jenny

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  • 2 months later...

I was raped by my intoxicated wife.  Subsequently, she physically abused me.  I don't know how to cope with any of it.  All of this happened in the home we made, in our bedroom and shower.  I have nightmares and flashbacks.  I don't know how to cope with the rape... I feel like I deserved it, mixed with so much shame and guilt.  I have no one to talk to it with.  All of our friends are mutual friends and I don't want to be the reason she is looked down at.  I also hate myself for trying to protect her, when she couldn't do the same.  I don't know how to trust anymore.  

-Bex

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Bex, no-one ever deserves rape. I hope you will join us, where you can reach out more widely for support around the community. People can and do heal from sexual assault, and having people who you can talk with helps enormously. Hopefully you have some support by way of therapy too?
 

Jenny :metoyou:

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Trigger warning - CSA

 

In the past couple of years I broke off contact with my father who SA me when I was 15 and disclosed to my family. My grandmother confronted me after I asked her not to trigger me before work and said "do you really think your father is a pedophile? can you tell me what happened" I dont talk to her about it because she always blames my mother for putting these ideas in my head (his argument) but Im the one who actually disclosed to my mother.

This is too painful and I can't see myself talking with her again.

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  • 1 year later...
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