Jes

Top 10 Stupidest Comments

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My brother was the one who orally raped, molested, and abused me. He is about the same size as me even though he is two years older than me, so no one believes he could of done anything. The most responses that I hate are "Just get over it" "Turn to God" "Oral rape isn't real rape" "He's too small, you could of run away or something" and one of the most hurtful is when I told my best friend and she kept saying it doesn't seem possible and pointing out false facts that would prove me wrong if they were true, like she thought I was making stuff up for attention.

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Posted (edited)

My current husband every time after I break down and talk about the rape, abuse, attacks; 'So do you feel better now you've talked to me about it?' Followed by an hour of me reassuring him about how great/supportive/understanding he is.

Because a lifetime of abuse followed by political violence and domestic abuse/rape will magically disappear after an hour's worth of talking to someone about it, right?

Especially when him listening is totally negated by the transparent grab for backpats.

Edited by AnetD
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"I think you are deliberately MAKING dramas for yourself in life" - a counsellor told me this in 2005, after I reported having PTSD and abuse at home with my B/F. I never saw her again.

"You don't know what real domestic violence is" - my sister, when I tried to tell her about my abuse.

"That's what men do when they get angry. I don't blame him" - my father, when I came to him crying, after being abused and asked if I could stay at his place.

"You obviously have a lower sex drive than him" - a sexual abuse counsellor, a month ago, when I recounted a rape to her - by my ex B/f.

I could go on and on...

To have a counselor say that to you is so scary and completely deters me from wanting to ever go into any counseling or tell anyone. i feel that way already. That i am making it a bigger deal then it really is. for someone to affirm that belief to me would only hinder my mental and emotional recovery.

I had a girlfriend tell me that she 'wished i could get over this' and i know she meant well but it was hurtful enough that what i heard was i cannot keep telling her about this and so for many years now I havent said anything to her so she thinks i am over it.

One time in trying to tell my mother vaguely she said 'well if you didnt want it why didnt you make up a lie to get out of it, like you have to go to the bathroom" and it was about a particularly forceful as well as shameful time. The only reason for that time literally was to shame me and make me feel like the girl he knew i was/am.

he said to me he knew i could take the pain and that he knew i wanted it.

guess my stupid comments really arent that bad.

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Moose_Muffin - I don't blame you for feeling that way, but don't let it stop you from finding a counselor. It took me 25 years and 5 attempts to find the right one. They are human too and some are better than others. Now that I have a counselor who I feel is entirely on my side and believes me 100% I am finally starting to heal.

Oh! Speaking of bad therapists: Family therapist on my depression - 'what you really need is a fashion makeover'. ohmy.png

Can't believe I forgot that one...

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When I sent a text to a friend, describing a flashback of CSA. (The first real flashback I had.)

He wrote back: "that's not a memory, that's a dream. It didn't happen."

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"That really happened?"

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My campus counsellor: "Well, you just need too look at it from his perspective."

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"It happens ten years ago .. why can't forget it?" from a friend when i told him about my rape . Sure, it's so easy to forget right??

"I think you are overreacting. After all, if all these happened why you never call the police?" from my last T when i told her about CSA and tha gang who tried also to assault me and pointed a gang to my head. Yeah , it was so easy to report all these at 6 or 16? Especially when police never believed me.

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"Omg Malice why were you so naive? No wonder stuff like these happen to you. What were you thinking?" My lovely ex-boyfriend. Gotta miss that guy.

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My best friend when I explained what my new T, is trying to help me with. "I'm tired of hearing about it ". (Referring to my r*)

Would a real friend say that?

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Posted (edited)

It wasn't intentional.: They took a person out because her father died. My mom died 6 months ago, not even a text.

I didn't know it hurt you when I talked about dad's selling their children and you said you were and then left the room.

We're praying for you and want you back in our group. Only one person has reached out to me in 2 years.

God loves you, Gods loves you, God loves you.....on and on. They think if they say it enough I finally accept it.

All things work for the good. I'd like to see them say that if they went through even a tiny portion of what I did

God was sitting next to youu crying while you went through what you went through. That's supposed to make me feel better.

Friends help to keep you happy. Try telling that to all the people I've tried to befriend.

Edited by Starlight

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My Mum saying "Oh if you'd worn those boots that day it wouldn't have happened, you'd have been able to kick his arse!" Considering I got raped during a therapeutic massage I wouldn't have been wearing boots Mum..

Closely followed by male friend who commented that he couldn't believe how long the guy waited to 'prey on me' - because I'd known him for years. Now I know he'd spent his time grooming me and had become more and more inappropriate and creepy just before the rape occurred. (I understand this now, I was targeted at my most vulnerable) Yes that's right, I must have wanted it to happen, and let it happen because I'd known him so long. Had nothing to do with the past abuse left me open to other occurrences at all.

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