Jes

Top 10 Stupidest Comments

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Double post, sorry

Edited by J725c

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Triple post.

Edited by J725c

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"So many other people have worse life's than you"

"Can't you just forget about it, and think about other things except this all the time"

"I bet you'd love to see him again wouldn't you?"

This was said after being asked if I had seen the guy who hurt me since it happened.

These were all also said by my current boyfriend who knows what has happened to me. The last one hurting the most.

Some people really have no idea :/

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Sadmelon,

I'm sorry. People say stupid things all the time and they just don't think. I find the last sentence by your boyfriend particularly cruel. No one in his right mind would say that.

If okay, safe hugs :hug:

Camellia

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I'm so sorry you were told that sadmelon.

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"So many other people have worse life's than you"

Thank you for that. I have never understood how people think that knowing how much worse the world can get, is supposed to make anyone feel better.

The stupidest comment I got was from my mom. I sent her a text message saying that it was all going to be okay and this wasn't the end of the world. Her reply: "Well that's easy for you to say." As if this wasn't about me at all.

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"But it wasn't like it was a stranger in a dark alley."

"That would have never happened to me, I would have fought." -"Friends" (I did.)

"Are you sure it was rape and not just bad sex?" (From the police officer)

"It's your own fault for going to that party in the first place." (From my parents)

"Why did you let yourself be alone with him?"

"Are you sure it really happened?"

"Losing your virginity is overrated."

"You're a beautiful girl, you'll be just fine."

I was trapped in a room with my r*pist at a party. When my friend realized that something was wrong and that I wouldn't just randomly hook up with someone, she ran upstairs to try and get to me. His two friends chased her down, held her back and told her to let it happen. The direct quote was "he needs this."

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"Why don't you find a new hobby so you have something else to think about!"

Yeah right.....

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As sad it is this makes me smiling....

" But apart from that he beaten you up in front of the kids, apart from that, hes a nice guy " My mother

" This is life. Get over it and move on " A relative

" You are 40 years old and still bothering about the old storys ? " My mother

so on so on.... :angry:

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This is the one I hate hate hate-its been a little over 2 years for me, and I keep having people yell me-Just get over it already. That is the stupidest thing in this situation. Another is-You're still thinking about that? Don't you ever think of anything else?- Don't you realize that I live in a hell that won't stop, a reality that isnt safe anymore. I never leave my house unless I have to.....

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My favourite came from the police officer that I gave my statement to after the government told them to open a file. She said, and I quote:

"A mother would never do that kind of thing."

Really? Well, mine sure did.

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After having told my ex that my SA and r*** made me feel used, we were talking about past relationships and in reference to his previous girlfriend (who he had fully consensual sex with) he said "Ooo she made me feel so dirty!". I found that really insensitive :cry: oh and yes I've had the "are you still not over that?" And another, from a "friend" when I told her about my relationship with my r**ist and when I had just had my post about him moved to the Relationship Violence forum - "so you were only together 3 or 4 months, that's not long. Why are you so bothered by it?" :banghead: grrrr!

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My favourite came from the police officer that I gave my statement to after the government told them to open a file. She said, and I quote:

"A mother would never do that kind of thing."

Really? Well, mine sure did.

That's maddening, mad.gif I've gotten similar statements about my 'father', 'he seems like such a nice guy, can't imagine he'd do something like that'....well, I don't have to imagine, I lived it!

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Exactly! Parents aren't supposed to do these terrible, horrible things to their children, but that doesn't mean they don't. I think what the officer said stung the most, maybe because she was a person in a position of perceived authority telling me I was wrong, I was lying. It just hurt so much; it was bad enough telling her, bad enough having to admit to everything she did, but to be invalidated like that, to be told I was making it up or something, that was brutal.

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When I was in elementary school every one found or about my abuse because it was a small community. My friends, being somewhat sheltered went home and asked their parents what "rape" and "molestation" meant. Instead of explaining it to them, their parents said where did you hear that?! And they told them what had happened with me and my step dad and, again, instead of explaining it likea proper parent should they simply told my friends that they couldn't see me anymore because i was bound to do the same thing. Ignorant people.

Cassie

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Cassie, I'm sorry those parents made their kids believe YOU were the criminal...

Still don't know what to think about this one, I told someone (which doesn't happen very often) and he immediately made it about them, not me:

'I feel sorry for the guys who did this to you. They must regret what they did every day.'

Edited by fiona

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A long time ago but they really stick in my head...

My mother when I called her to tell her what my father had done "You're upset just because he went for you?".

My mother when I said I didn't feel like a real or complete human being and that I had to prove any worth through my job "I always thought you were like a brain box on legs".

My abuser when he said "I didn't know it was wrong" - he was a psychologist in the school system!

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-My best friend and the first person i ever told (it was still going on):

"You know, this happens to kids all the time. Idk what the big deal is?"

-My boyfriend (at the time) while I was trying to figure out how to tell my parents what was happening:

"I'm sick of hearing about this! If you don't tell them then I'm gonna break up with you and I will tell them myself."

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After opening up to a friend...

{paraphrase] "Look at Oprah, you can start moving on & start over..."

How many people agree that it's really more of the manner in which the comment is nonchalantly thrown out as opposed to the actual words used? (A realization I just came across)

Edited by SynergyMind01

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'I feel sorry for the guys who did this to you. They must regret what they did every day.'

Someone said something very similar to me once. Something about how what they did would haunt them for the rest of their lives. First thought was "screw you for caring, for even thinking, about how they feel." Second thought was "if the guilt drives them to suicide then, yeah, that might give me a bit of comfort."

Edited by Gonz
2 people like this

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'I feel sorry for the guys who did this to you. They must regret what they did every day.'

Someone said something very similar to me once. Something about how what they did would haunt them for the rest of their lives. First thought was "screw you for caring, for even thinking, about how they feel." Second thought was "if the guilt drives them to suicide then, yeah, that might give me a bit of comfort."

Mine while not as severe....

(after opening up) "imagine how your mom must feel" (referring to the guilt she is experiencing)

To the person: Again, I get what you're after...but...really?

People are so great with words sometimes.

Edited by SynergyMind01

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Gonz and Synergy, I guess we agree it's a stupid comment then ;)

The thing is, the guy who said this to me was really caring. This comment came out of nowhere and I could only stare at him. But now I keep thinking about it..

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So when I told my dad that my step-dad started getting blowjobs when I was 8/9 and continued until I left at 16 he asked if I went around with a "secret smile". My dad is very proud that he lost his virginity at 14 to the old widow down the road though so that might explain his comment.

My mom tells me to put it in the "I Don't Know File"

She also tells me to stay off sites like this even though I told her it was really helping me, she said I was dwelling.

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'I feel sorry for the guys who did this to you. They must regret what they did every day.'

It's really weird, but I do feel bad for the guy who did this to me. Sometimes I think about him and feel sad because I feel like there must have been something messed up in his life for him to think that this was okay. BUT on that same note, I know that a lot of people don't feel that way (I don't really want to feel this way) and that is a really stupid comment to make to someone. I'm sorry someone said that to you.

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