Jes

Top 10 Stupidest Comments

887 posts in this topic

If I may be so bold as to join in.

1) From the friend who knew from the beginning, 5 years later on a little get together: "Aren't you over that yet??"

never mind that it hadn't ended yet,. . .or that I have PTSD,. . .or many other things.

2) From the first counselor I tried: "I really think all of this wouldn't be a problem if you would just get married." <br> (I was 22).

I politely left and cancelled all future appointments,. . .took me over a year to try therapy again.

And to throw in a positive spin,.  . . . I love my good friend who encourages me to dress up and be feminine, understanding that such a side is scarry for me at times, as my confidence in my own sexuality still wavers.

~The Westermaid

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My last ex (though one of the sweetest and most understanding men ever) when I told him i was thinking about going to T:

"I don't know if a therapy will help...what you really need is a boyfriend who will help you forget this"

But to get back to the Top 10 part I think Lea's therapist definitely is number one

That's the solution girls (and boys...yep Troy, posting in this thread means you have to get out the needles too)...let's all start knitting...not only will that erase all our problems, we could also knit something useful...like a brain for people in desperate need of one :P

Art *heading off to buy needles and wool*

(Edited by ArTeMiS at 8:04 pm on July 2, 2002)

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####! Reading these makes me angry! How stupid are people? No, really. Just how stupid are people? aarrgghh Besides very damned grumpy by reading this, I am also encouraged, because I realize how lame and foolish these people's verbal contributions are.

A few personal examples that anger me:

-My parents believed when as an adult I told them that SA had occured in my childhood, but they thought I was blowing it "out of proportion". (Hmmm. What would appropriate

"proportion" be? I mean short of outright denial?)

-Someone once told me that only by seeing a (conservative Born Again Protestant) Christian therapist, would I ever recover or heal. In other words, the trauma didn't matter; retaining orthodoxy did. (I wonder now if they meant "heel" or "heal"?)

-I told one of my brothers a few years ago that I had been sexually abused and all he said (then or since) was "oh."

I guess there are some more, but they are all similar: stupid!

((((hugs)))))

Troy-Boy

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I have really long hair and I heard this one from a male friend who has guessed that "something" happened to me once:

"You know, you should tie your hair back when you go out.  Guys find long hair irresistable."

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Ah, marriage, knitting, and orthodoxy..the solutions to all our problems. In fuckwit-land, perhaps.

Westermaid - welcome to the board!

:)

Emma

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Well said Em. How much time do you think it would take to educate these complete fuckwits????????

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Hi,

  I'm totally shocked and pissed off. I can't believe some people.It's as tho they've had every last little bit of common sense removed or something. I hate it. Knitting will cure all. Of course,why didnt we think of this before!!

 I had a lovely comment from my best friend who was the very first person i talked to about this properly.

 My dad had died and i guess it seemed to bring out all the other pain tucked away about what an "ex" had done to me. She listened in the beginning but a while after she came out with "Shit happens."!

 I was alittle shocked to say the least but i've learned not to talk to her about this anymore as she seems to have a pretty interesting way of dealing with pain.

 

 (((((hugs))))+support,

               StellaXxX

 

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LOL.... And cooking, girls, don't forget cooking.

My husband's mother: "Isn't it time you stopped living in the past and found something better to do? The local tech offers Chinese Cookery courses, you know".

Oh! Okaaaaaay....Chow-mein and soy sauce as a cure for ptsd?

Fuckwits indeed.

L xxxxx

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Quote from my psychologist:

<i>"I know you consider what happened to be rape, but I think what you're doing is masking the real issues by dragging this out."</i>

In other words, I'm using my sexual assault as an excuse for having difficulty, and there's nothing to be so upset about - I'm just dragging it out for attention and avoidance of my "real" issues.  The <b>real</b> problem is my family, because my family situation is just so difficult to think about I decide to focus on something <i>easier</i> to think about - like being held down, mentally and physically tortured and raped with the handle of a knife.  Yeah...that's definitely much easier to think about.  You know, I'll just forget that anything ever happened.  Thank you very much, sweetie, for the wonderful advice - I'll remember that next time I'm in the middle of a flashback, that it isn't a "real" problem.

(((hugs)))

Keli

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<i>How much time do you think it would take to educate these complete fuckwits???????? </i>

I think it would probably be quicker to go with Artie's suggestion, and knit them a new brain. Or cook them one, with Lou's excellent local courses in chinese cookery.

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Getting my wok and knitting needles out to join in....

Some people are so stupid.

A good friend (who still is, as it wasn't REALLY stupid), the first person I told after one and half years of silence, said to me a couple of years later: "it's alright for you, you don't have any problems, nothing ever goes wrong for you..." Just how 'wrong' does it have to be for her to remember??

Sorry that some of you have had to deal with much worse comments...

Katunje

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Ah yes, ((((((Keli))))))), shrinks are in a "stupid and invalidating responses" class all of their own.

Shrink to me: "These rape counsellors encourage victims to wallow in it too much, and it allows them to evade responsibility for their lives".

Letters after their names and social prestige doesn't make them any less than stupid assholes. But I think there is a more malign reason behind psychiatry's invalidation of abused women......they are afraid of the power of a woman healing.

L xxxxxx

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Failing other solutions, we could get our very pithy Em to write and publish a book of "Basic Sensitivity for Fuckwitted Morons".

L xxxx

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Silly, silly me...

I thought EVERYBODY got brains right along with their body. The depth of the stupidity being exposed on this thread is shocking.

I don't know if mine can compare but this conversation should be on this post.

Him: I just don't understand about all this abuse stuff. It just seems too far fetched. Does this really happen?

-No, Intelligence Incarnate, we all got together and made it all up. Good little scam we got goin here, huh?

(and, during yet another stimulating conversation)

Him: Was there any, you know, penetration?

Me: only with his fingers and I was told to perform oral sex on him

Him: (relieved) Oh, good, then it wasn't that bad.

-WTF? Alrighty then, thanks for letting me know. I almost thought something had HAPPENED to me. Thanks for clearing that up for me, chum-buddy.

I repeat, WTF?

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<i>I thought EVERYBODY got brains right along with their body</i>

LMAO!!

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I was reading through this and it dawned on me that I had another one...

I called my mom bec., when I saw her last weekend at a memorial service for my Gpa who died on Christmas Eve, she seemed really depressed (I normally don't have much contact w/my family, they're 7hrs away for a reason)... I just wanted to let her know that I was thinking about her... Towards the end of the conversation I said that I understood how hard it is to deal w/depression and to let me know if I could do anything...

She said "there's no was you understand how depressed I am"... I didn't say anything for a minute and then I said "ok, how come?" and she told me I was melodramatic and I make up being depressed just to get attention - I didn't have anything in my life to be depressed about that wasn't my own fault in the first place... I didn't know what to say so I just said "I'm sorry" and we hung up...

I understand that she has problems and sometimes I feel sorry for her... My dad told me that he's wondered if she has MPD because of her bizarre behavior... It's just hard to ignore what she says bec I know it's how she really feels no matter the reason behind it... Anyway.......

I'm sorry all of you have had to deal with so much ignorance from so many "f*ckwits" out there...

Maybe we sould start a Pandy's online "Knitting while you're cooking" or "Cooking while knitting" class??? Then what could "The Stupid People" say???  :shocked: :shocked:

Mouseisa :)

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LOl You were being melodramatic, but she wasn't? yeah, sure. If only she could live in your shoes for a day or two.

Most of the people who suggest that you should devote your time and energy in actually doing something are the ones who are still living in the fifties. You know, the Donna Reed type.

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People are so stupid.

Told my mom I was rape first thing she asked was "was it someone you knew" reply 'that doesn't matter' second thing was "why didn't you come to us" reply should have been I didn't want things to get worse than they already were and dad's so good at that.

As for people saying to take up knitting they must not know how to do it themselves.  I crochet, same as knitting with one needle, anyway do they really want us to have objects we can do harm to them with when they say stuff like this.  Chocheting is one hobby that keeps the hands bussy but the mind free...so what's the point of that.  I could crochet all day and still dewll on stuff.  Just proves how stupid they really are.  I have to watch tv or talk to someone when working on my projects or too much thinking time would drive me nuts.

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Can I just say to everyone that I'm glad you like the knitting-incident. I find it rather quaint myself. And for the record, I never did take up the art of fashioning bulky ill-fitting jumpers. Mr Moron is happily sitting in the middle of a scene, in the middle of a chapter somewhere on my computer....I guess I feel more comfortable with a pen in my hand, than an oversized plastic needle...

Love Lea.

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One of the times I was talking to my counselor at school (after he knew what happened), he pointed out that it could happen anywhere, that I "could get dragged into a bathroom here at school and r*ped there".. EEEK! Needless to say, I started steering clear of bathrooms, esp. after I found a creep in one.. *sighs*

And there's the time I explained to a friend that I was uncomfortable with how touchy-feely my orchestra teacher was and he tells me I'm making too big a deal out of it..

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Occasionally when I'm around female friends, the topic arises - what would you do if you were in that situation? And what makes me furious are the girls who just say "That is so NEVER going to happen to me, because they can't hurt you unless you let them. I just wouldn't let them grab me." That isn't stupidity I know, that's just someone who's never been in that situation - and I hope they never are - but hearing stuff like that . . . Some people just have no idea. You don't KNOW what you'd do until it happens.

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Jes: You ROCK! I'll bet Bill will be watching his mouth now.

Mother: "Knitting???" ...that's absolutely ridiculous! He/She might have better said, "you might want to take up studying the mating-habits of African Ants...just to get your mind off the fact that you'd rather be dead." ...Now I've heard it all. Sounds like you ditched that psychiatrist (rightfully so)...and I certainly hope you did hon. Yuck!

Trin

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Unfortunately, I've got stupid friends too.  Well, stupid former friends.  I told two of my friends about my SA which happened on a date with a guy from Colombia.  My friends told me that I should know that latin men, from other countries no less, don't know that some American women actually mean no when they say no.  They laughed at me, and informed me that if I didn't want to have sex with a latin guy I shouldn't go home with him.  

I was completely in shock.  We were at a bar & I had been trying to quietly tell this one friend that I would tell her about my date later, and then she forced me into discussing it. And when I did, they erupted in laughter & shock that I wouldn't know what to them was a simple fact.  And then I erupted.  I think everyone at the bar heard me say that no means no & it doesn't matter what fucking country anyone is from.  Then I walked home.

Reoh

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Hope it's OK if I jump in here....

When I told this one guy (I thought the sun rose and set on this man, until he said this) about two separate incidences from when I was a kid, he put one hand on my shoulder, and said in a gentle tone "You know, I think you would be safer if you were a lesbian."  I just shook my head slightly and walked away.

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Hi Fluxus and (((((Hugs)))))

Yep, that just about takes the fucking cake for the silliest response I've ever heard.

L xxxxx

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