Top 10 Stupidest Comments

[KittyLoverMira]

squirrely, omfg, i'm incensed at how they treated you!

veryconfused - oh jeez, sweetie, that's terrible for your peers to say

pixie - wow, i mean, wow. i can't believe someone would out you like that and accuse you of withholding then saying you weren't brave and threatening you. that's... wow. that's pitiful. and those dr's... ugh. it's scary to think of being locked up... i understand that fear.

you all are so sweet and brave and wondrous. just being here is something courageous and you adding to this topic is great.

hugs for all who want and/or need them (((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))

take gentle care,

[AnotherVoice79]

"God...I mean...you of all people"

[squirrely]

Thank you for the hugs

My favorites for this week in order of interest:

1) Oh your participating in project freefall.....Its personal cause for you, why?

2) What does project freefall support? Doesnt the government fund hotlines, why do we need more. They could use the money raised for like barrier contraceptions so the those involved dont need to worry about the disease people could get (great give the rapists condoms- incentive to plan even)

3) Why do we need an online support center, like why can these people just openly talk about "their" rapes. That would be a lot cheaper and easier then having to type everything out- whats the point in wirting when you can speak.

pitiful ignorance to say the least.

Take care

squirrely

[Moonsong]

In a college psychology class - not aimed at me, just general discussion of the psychology of victim blaming

- 'SA is just harmless fun'

- 'A woman just needs to cry r*pe and everyone comes running'

There was also an exercise where people had to say how responsible they thought a woman was for SA in a certain scenerio - only 3 people said she wasnt responsible at all :o

My flatmate a few weeks ago

- 'I dont really see whats so bad about r*pe'

Another flatmate when my friends were talking about woman being attacked on campus

- 'Im always a bit sceptical of women who report those sort of things'

wtf??? so r*pe never happens?!!!!

[surmiss]

When confronting my Mother as an adault about what my step father had done,

1. She played dumb like I hadn't told her when I was a child she pretended that she

had never heard it then and I guess still beleive's her own lies today.

2. She asked my "Are you sure he ment to?"

3. She told me "Oh you are such a drama queen."

4. She said about my Adault rape " You have brought all this on yourself."

Eventualy I learned to stop talking to my Mother entierly until I had my head on straight and could set boundries with her and not talk to her at all about my abuse or abusers.

The worst part is that my Mother is a victim of CSA herself, I know that she suffer's her own form of denial so I can forgive her. I have learned to accept her for who she is but expect her to be exactly that. Meaning I have a right to protect myself from her.

[Rosa]

my boyfriend: a lot of things hapened to you which you allowed for one reason or another be it lack of self esteem or you were curious....

errrrr NO

[sockspup]

The police "Women dont rape other women. It doesn't work that way."

Me: (feeling ashamed - can't even look up) "Some of it was videotaped and she has them. I live here. You can search the house."

Police: "Do you own?"

Me: "No we rent, why?"

Police: "Is your name on the lease?"

Me: "No"

Police: (to my rapist) "Ma'am, will consent for us to search? See can't consent b/c her name isn't on the lease."

Rapist: "No, I don't want my privacy invaded."

Police: "There's nothing we can do. We don't have enough evidence for a warrant. We can wait for awhile so you can get your things."

Hello. WTF. Am I the only one who sees the wrong in this?

Dawn

[mouse]

ok, so it's not the stupidest comment and I know he's not intending to hurt me, but my best friend told me after I was triggered by a comment he made, "We all have things in our past that are more or less our fault, but we've got to get past them".

[Stef]

The very first person who ever found out:

"Are you in therapy? Because if you are not, you will get raped over and over again throughout your whole life.'

Now that was validating.

A close friend whom I told that night, because I was so upset about what this person had said.

me: Something happened

her: What is it?

me: He raped me.

friend: Phew. And I thought you were going to tell me you slept with my boyfriend.

Let's be glad for her that it wasn't anything *really* bad.

Sav

Edited April 19, 2006 by Sav

[pixie]

(((((((((Sav))))))))

I'm sorry. What a horrible thing to say.

(((((((mouse))))))))

that comment was victim blame.

They were wrong. It was NOT your fault.

pix

[brokeninnocence]

*deleted*

Edited April 19, 2008 by brokeninnocence

[Kate]

((((((((((((((Jessica)))))))))))))))))

Oh hon, the things people have said to you are simply disgusting. As in my stomach was doing flip-flops while I was reading your post. I'm sorry you weren't believed or supported by those who should have.

Kate

[with_torn_wings]

After crying my eyes out to my school counselor who I'm close with, and telling him of one incident where my ex bf had held me down and forced me to do things (not rape at this point) this is what he says: "Well how is this any different from what other kids your age went through?"

Okay... I asked him to stop. I cried. I tried to get him off of me. I begged him not to. I didn't want it....

But no.... EVERY girl goes through this when she's 12 years old....

*sighs*

[Peanut]

From a phsychiatrist to me when i was 19..... "some people (as in ME) are simply beyond help". Thanks!!

[Bubby]

((((((((((((((Peanut, WTW, Jessica)))))))))))))))

Those must have been horrible things to have said to you. What f*ckwits, all of them.

Mine was a psychiatrist I saw a couple of years ago:

1) Look, I really can't help you until you get over all this csa stuff. (Ummm...what was I in therapy for then?)

2) Because of what happened to you when you were young, you will always be a little girl. You will never be a responsible adult. You'll need to think about this if you ever want to have kids.

WTF?????!!!!!

Needless to say, I never went back.

[scarlettbegonia]

My husband when I confided in him about my struggle with bulimia:

"Why don't you just not eat? Making yourself throw up is just gross."

Sorry ladies, he's taken.

Leah

[Bubby]

Leah, you just reminded me of an ex when I told him the same thing:

"Isn't bulimia when you're really really fat?"

Thanks <_<

[ResilientOne90]

This was said by my mom last year...

"What happened to you wasn't really rape, it was just experimenting.."

Like wtf? she didn't realize how angry that made me but I never did tell her how angry I was for saying that to me...

Cassondra xo

[scarlettbegonia]

My mom in a conversation regarding my abuse at the hands of her (then) husband:

"I just can't believe he would do that after everything I have been through."

Thanks for the concern for me, I wouldn't expect any less of you.

Edited June 13, 2006 by scarlettbegonia

[Kate]

I went to a T, she asked me to tell her my entire (and I mean entire) history, and then when I was done she looked at me and in this really impatient voice said "So what is that you want help with exactly?"

Like it wasn't completely obvious.

Kate

[sister]

You know when someone is trying to connect with something you've shared and it is with good intentions but it is SOOO not even in the same realm of what you went through?

In couples T session with hubby I talked about the gang rape and how utterly violating and humiliating that was. Hubby "identified" with his sense of violation after some punk spray painted the side of our garage.

Ya, it's the same thing <_<

[Kate]

uh okay

My T equated my rapes with an over zealous boyfriend she had once who told her how much he wanted to have sex with her when she wasn't quite ready. He didn't try to force her, just told her how much he wanted to and how he couldn't wait till she did too, and it made her nervous. And that's "exactly the same" as being raped?

love Kate

[*natalie]

<_<

What a wierd person. Since when is T about the T? Aren't they supposed to not talk about themselves? I think she needs to go back to school!

Edited June 22, 2006 by *natalie

[Diotima]

My Mom after the first time:

"This happens to every girl. Just forget about it and don't tell anyone."

One of my friends after an attempted rape:

"I don't think he would do that. Everyone knows that he doesn't like you at all."

My Mom after the most recent time:

"Well. I hope that you have learned your lesson."

[Heavy Hearted]

I remember once telling a friend that my uncle had molested me, when I was a teenager, and he asked "Are you sure?"....no idiot, I'm not sure, let me go ask him....like jeez.

When my ex's friend called...I told him the ex had attacked me(didn't say rape, hadn't accepted it yet) he said "Why'd you call the cops, why didn't you just ask him to leave?".....I did,I begged him to leave, you think it worked????Obviously not dim-wit, like fuck.

From the same friend....."Why didn't you call me?"...probably because you aren't MY friend, and I didn't have your number til you left it on my answering machine for the ex.

Then the ex's other friend called looking for him...I flat out told him what happened.....his response was "I would have never thought that of him"....well did you think I did? Did you think I went into this thing, knowing that 5 months, and 3 days later I'd be raped by him? Like wake up and smell the roses buddy...

Or the ever helping one....when I'm telling people what happened....."okay, deep breathe, and you'll be fine"....jeez, thanks I didn't know ONE breathe would make it all okay...like wake up dick wad!!

Or when reporting my second attack to my mom, just this yr, to having her ask "are you sure, you never said anything"...sure mom, I'm making it up, just cause.....ugh.

Or how about this....

I'm crying hysterically....my mom walks into my place, hugs me hard, and says "I told you he was no good"....THANKS MOM, that makes me feel SOOOOO much better....that explains it all....I swear she's sometimes more focused on being proved right. No matter the cost.

Or one from a old bf, about my past..."Oh, so you're now frigid, right?"....ya, just cause I was abused means I no longer have desires.

Or this one, from a guy that over heard me talking at a friends out about oral sex with my uncle..."were you any good?"...like WTF!!!! I was 3 1/2 buddy, I'm sure I rocked his world...asshole.

or the best one in my opinion to date on this recent attack...

Me: I wonder if he'll be brave enough to try to talk to me, or something?

Cuz: Oh don't worry he won't...he's to mad at you, you got him arrested, and put in jail for 5 days. He'll be pissed off at you. You made him get a 10pm curfew, if you did that to me, I'd kill you.

THANKS kiddo....guess I won't be sleeping tonight eh? That makes me feel soooooooo much better now.

>>ANGIE<<