PurpleHope Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 "even if he did rape you when you were a child, I'm sure he didn't do it maliciously." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdam Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 (edited) 'It's not that I don't believe you but I can't imagine your father doing anything like that, and I'm sure he's sorry now.' This too shall pass. And the old, 'God doesn't give you more than your shoulders can bear'. Edited March 29, 2011 by jdam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodstock Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 From my mother after I finally told her that my father had repeatedly molested me: "Oh I thought maybe that happened but I thought that it was only one time." WHAT??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdam Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 I almost forgot this one...'If you could move on we'd be able to go back to normal and you could make Sunday dinners again and have us all over." WTF? Is that insensitive or is it just me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperballad13 Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 My mum keeps saying "He's probabley done this to loads of women" as if I'm supposed to go "Oh thats ok then..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 here is one for you i told a now x friend about what happened to me and he said "that doesn't happen to guys" i said it isn't supposed to happen to guys but it does" to which he responded i must be gay to let that happen,so i should just let it go come out of the closet" i was a kid the first time it happed and i consider my self straight just having a hard time dealing with all of this it isn't supposed to happen to anyone but there is an extra layer of stigma when it happens to a guy not that i'm minimizing any ones experience Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c00kie Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 (edited) 'He's not a pedophile, it was just incest' yes a 19 year old and a 10 year old... also that i know he did it to a couple of my friends. Even if pedophile isnt the correct term 'its just incest' yes... no big deal, its not like I was raped by a stranger.(sorry if that sounds wrong i dont mean it in a demeaning way, it just seems many people only believe you can be raped by a stranger and incest isnt a big deal, its 'normal' experimentation' Edited May 2, 2011 by c00kie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyandMusic Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 (edited) I was telling my friend about my SA, 2 weeks after it happend, and she said, "what were thinking? its your fault for getting into the car", and I was SA in that car Edited May 12, 2011 by LucyandMusic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loveinflames Posted May 29, 2011 Share Posted May 29, 2011 (edited) It's over now OMFG HGHOIFSXJKLwfrwegjrkhfkfdhkmgvsdjkgHDBMDVVABDGQWGWSDSBVasdw It's NOT Firstly, I keep vividly reliving what happened AND I CAN'T MAKE IT STOP. The memories will always be inside of me. Just like he was. ugh. Secondly, I've been assaulted many times, and each time has made me more vulnerable to future assault. So saying I'm safe from assault now because it's over is ridiculous and, statistically speaking, false. I know the evil that exists in the world , and there is no way to go back to believe the world is a safe and happy place. The violence is something that I know will always be in the world, and be a part of me. Please, please don't deny this. That's like denying what happened to me. I need to learn to live with this, not ignore it. Edited May 29, 2011 by loveinflames Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loveinflames Posted May 29, 2011 Share Posted May 29, 2011 (edited) double post Edited May 29, 2011 by loveinflames Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdam Posted May 29, 2011 Share Posted May 29, 2011 This one really floored me...'you need to give me details now since I'm your go too person that you told'...I preferred when she used to say 'this too shall pass' after that one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeelaTuranga Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 "It's not like he had a weapon, your fear is disproportionate" from my T of all effing people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyvanilla Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 oh, I forgot the classic one (this bugs me in any case, but especially this one):<p>God does everything for a reason -and- He'll never give you more than you can handle.<p>as if that's supposed to make everything all better... exactly! that's another reason i'm not religious. it's not that easy. clearly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyvanilla Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 this just happened a week or 2 ago with a guy whos kinda known all along. i told him things have been affecting me a lot more than i thought most people realized, and that dumb idiot said "when you tell people about it are you laughing like its funny?" WTF!<p>Mary I don't understand....also. sorry if this triggered you. As in, I don't understand the correlation between your being assaulted and the laughing. unless the dude's a sadist or something in which case then yeah. [i don't know him so i clearly haven't a right to judge him] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyvanilla Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 my dad [who, to clarify, 1; wasn't the guy who assaulted me but since i have PTSD and knew the guy who assaulted me and my dad so therefore don't trust either and B; i stay at least a foot or so away from my dad when he's at my place fixing something] when we're on opposite sides of my counter, goes: "i won't attack you". ok so the guy who assaulted me didn't attack me but the point remains. that's exactly why we were on opposite sides! omygod yeah um. you're an @$$. [my dad, that is]. he's also the most oblivious person i know. but that's another story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyvanilla Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Hope it's OK if I jump in here.... When I told this one guy (I thought the sun rose and set on this man, until he said this) about two separate incidences from when I was a kid, he put one hand on my shoulder, and said in a gentle tone "You know, I think you would be safer if you were a lesbian." I just shook my head slightly and walked away. I'm sorry if this is apparent but I don't understand how that's a 'stupid' comment. I'm not saying it isn't. I'm w/ ya here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyvanilla Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 This thread has me aghast, alternating between nervous giggles (thanks Art) and jaw-on-the-floor incredulousness. People are so #### stupid. I'm sorry you all have heard those un-freaking-believably asinine comments.<p>Given that I've willingly disclosed to so very few people, I don't have such whoppers to share. However I have a couple, plus this post will lead to the all-important RED DOT! So here goes...<p>From a former therapist, after I said that in the months after being raped I was afraid of running into the perp: "You were afraid? Why?" (This was not in an explore your feelings kind of way but out of genuine confusion that I might still be afraid of that man. Ohhkay! Time for a new T!)<p>From a boyfriend: "You just use that rape stuff to avoid sex with me." (Yes darling, the world revolves around your sex drive. I just make this stuff up as an excuse.)<p>From another boyfriend: "Are you sure you didn't just regret it in the morning? I don't know any guys who are, you know, rapists." (Well, idiot, I didn't know he was a rapist when I first met him either.)<p>Another friend once referred to the rape as "when you were with [so and so]." As if we were dating or something! Oy.<p>Oh, Anna, I got a karma comment once too, and that one was that not only did I deserve what happened then, I still deserved more, and surely would suffer it again. I still can't believe the cruelty of that one.<p>L<p>(Edited by Elle at 3:28 pm on Feb. 24, 2003) well no clearly you didn't! lol. sorry dear not laughing at you i'm laughing at how apparent that statement was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyvanilla Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Can't believe I haven't replied to this yet. Duh. My hubby, when I told him I thought they had probably raped me but I wasn't sure (I'm a repressor): "I doubt it -- people don't actually do things like that when they're young." -- how stupid is that? My mother, when I told her about their abuse: "Don't tell me you got yourself ruined" -- yeah, I'm completely garbage now, Mom, thanks for reminding me. My hubby again, a few months ago, when I was feeling down about what happened: "I guess we'll be going without dinner tonight" -- you could always eat sh*t and die, dear. <p>Amy ha, i love that last line from you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyvanilla Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 My mom found out when she read my journal when I came home from college over Thanksgiving break this past fall. She said nothing for hours till I finally asked shy she was all of a sudden so quiet. She told me that she had read my entire journal. She yelled at me for being "immature with eating habits" (bulimic) and for not telling her that I was seeing a counselor. After she was done yelling I said that it's been really hard dealing with the rape. She responded "well you only slept with him once, so you're not a slut." Gotta love family support! oh sweetie. my mom implied i was a w**re, too. if it helps any. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyvanilla Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Okay I may be alone in this but the most annoying comment I hear is when I finaly tell people I was raped and what do they ask first? "Are you sure?" God, how dumb is that?<p>(Edited by Rain1616 at 12:18 am on Jan. 22, 2003) um. wow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyvanilla Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 I do knit, crochet, and can cook Chinese, but can't forget what my mother in law said. " A husband can't r*pe his wife, he supports her and she owes it to him." Lo mein and an afghan anyone. ok so bc we're evidently living in the '50's here it's still considered 'willing' sex. yeah. what the hell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyvanilla Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 No rosponse is the worst, my ex friend just showed no respnse and went and changed the cd that was on when i told her, then she told me it was just sex and why didnt i kick him in the balls, and that she wouldnt let a guy rape her yes bc we "let" them. yes bc we're "willing" to "let" people assault us. god what an @$$. [again other than this i have no right to pre-judge your friend]. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyvanilla Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Ah yes, Jesela. Not only must rape victims dress like nuns; those who counsel them must also set the example of doing so. My first rape counsellor was an absolutely physically beautiful woman, and one day she had on bike-shorts and a cute little T-shirt with a seductively posed Betty Boop on it. She told me the kiosk lady had informed her that her gear wasn't terribly appropriate for a rape counsellor.<p>For fucks sake! Babe, give Bill's ears a twist and tell him it's from down under, will you?<p>Stupidity I have heard: Confucius say "no such things as rape. Woman run faster with skirt up than man with trousers down".<p>Lou say "you are a fuckhead in sore need of an education". Such cliches are almost boring to have to respond to; they are so tired, so moronic.<p>((((((((Hugs all)))))))))))))<p>Lou xxxxxx actually that could be another reason i'm always wearing pants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyvanilla Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 There have been so many dumb responses, it's tough to know which one to pick. I mean, isn't it stupid to assume a woman wanted to be raped? <p>But I think the dumbest one came from a classmate who I was kind of friends with at the time, who asked me, "How do you know you were raped?" <p>I felt like replying, well I really don't I'm just guessing.... Have I.Q.s dropped 20 points?? Lee um. wow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyvanilla Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 <font color='#000000'>Until the other day, I didn't really have anything that would have fit in this thread. Then I went back to work with my bruises and sprained wrist, hoping people wouldn't ask too many questions. This one lady, who always says completely inappropriate things, walked into the lunchroom, looked at me, looked at my wrist and went "what did you do?" even though she already knew what had happened. She then went on to say "why didn't you just run away like any normal person would have." Sorry, guess I was just too busy trying to survive.</font> oh so apparently we're meant to be in a 1930's circus w/ all the other "freaks". or in that Todd Browning movie. god what the hell is wrong w/ you people?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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