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Guest tkb

Afraid to post?

93 posts in this topic

Thank-you so much for your post Aoife.  I'm pretty new here and I've only posted once and I was absolutely terrified.  I feel exactly like you did when you first came.  I've only just started my healing from the abuse and I often wonder if I have anything to say that other people couldn't say better, so I tend to not want to say anything at all.  

On a rational level I know that everybody has something unique and special to offer, but I don't often include myself in that.  Because I'm new here and noone knows me at all I get scared that I'll write something completely stupid and everyone will form a negative opinion of me because of it.

Your post was really reassuring.  It's good to know that other people feel as scared of posting as I do right now.

Love

Amina

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lm@o!!! :biggrin:

Sorry, I'm just laughin' at myself.

I honestly thought I was the only one at this board who felt like this.

>*smacks self upside the forehead for being so unobservant*<

Looks like we're all in the same boat though, huh?

And Aoife, I DO know what you mean about checking posts.

After I post somethin' that reveals a lot, I will sit there pressing "refresh" constantly to see the no. of views, no. of responses, & invariably there is this massive flood of relief when somebody responds with kind words.

(nobody has ever said one single cruel thing to me here, so I guess it's time I stopped being so paranoid. lol)

Luv yas all :biggrin:

Unicorn

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Hmmm...

Posting a reply to someone else... and especially when I write more the just "hugs"... I always think to myself "oh please Els, stop acting like you know it all, this is not what this person needs to hear from you, you don't have a monopoly on wisdom or something..." but then there's this other voice in me that says "Els, you just reply from your heart, when it's not what they want to or need to hear, or when you're totally wrong (and I guess I probably am more than half the time...) then people can just ignore you..."... so... after previewing like a zillion times I often manage to hit submit when writing a reply.

Writing a post for my own...

Well... there's two kinds of them I guess.

The first kind, I'm getting there. It's when I feel I just need to ramble a bit, let a few things out so I'm able to go about my daily stuff, like go to work or something. I just post to get it out of my system then, not even expecting many replies. I'm a bit ashamed when I do that, because it feels like... ermm... I don't know a word ... exploiting maybe...? all of you wonderful people that then just are basicly forced to hear me whine a bit :biggrin: because that's exactly how it feels then : I need to whine a bit about me, before I'm able to put myself aside and do what I have to do.

The second kind...

writing about my struggle... about what really hurts... about how weak I feel and the mistakes I've made. Hmmm... now there's another cup of tea... that small and hurt side of me... the part I'm really really ashamed of...

I'm very afraid to show that...

I'm convinced people will see me so differently, people won't like me anymore, think I'm a total loser... and people will think nothing I have to say has any value anymore.

That's how it is in my heart.

My head is currently yelling at me : hey you know better than that !

But... my heart doesn't know any better...

Now about all of my Pandy family posting...

:)                   :)                   :)

All of you

let me say that again

ALL OF YOU

I love reading your posts ! I want you to post ! Please post ! Post ! Post ! Post !

I'm serious even if I don't seem to be right now. :)

What would a message board be without posts right?

Your post will be noticed. And you will be too.

I realize I don't reply to everything I read... I'm sorry. But you are noticed. And your Pandy family will walk along with you.

Also... sometimes your post will inspire others. And you will help them take a next step on their way to being free again.

You can do it, you are much stronger than I am ;)

love

Els.

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OHHH DUH!!!!

Man I have struggled with this so much since I came here, feeling so insignificant and wondering why I felt the need to get so much attention from so many people and being so so upset when I didn't, it's very very pathetic really.

Lately my big problem has been as I get more training and more confidence in my own voice (yet at the same time being well known as a big loud-mouth) I post my views (which are often quite different from others) and feel so good and empowered for doing it, then half an hour later the voices start creeping in... Oh GOD what have I done??????? followed by sorry sorry so so sorry. It's really pathetic but I AM working on it.  ((((lou))))

But to those of you who are too scared to post, hey, I'm here and many many others are here too.

LUV and may you come to know freedom of speech and mind, for it is YOUR right as a human being, and that is what you are...

Rach

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ok . . I just wanted to say that alot . .ok almost everything that has been said here I have been going thru . . . . .

working on it though

mingo

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:) its funny. i have been feeling this a LOT these days..

i do feel unwanted and like im not important and that could be cause of how i grew up always feeling like no one cared about anything i had to say and that i just am not smart enough to even help a soul out. let alone help myself..

thanks for this though, just wish i could stop feeling like everything i say is stupid and worthless..

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I hope that everyone who posted in here will quickly feel comfortable to post wherever their heart desires.

If anyone is interested there is a thread called <a href="http://www.welcometobarbados.org/CGI-BIN/ikonboard/topic.cgi?forum=9&topic=8"><b> Who are we? </b></a> which contains brief profiles of a lot of the members. Please consider adding yours to it. In case you don't know, mine is under 'crying angel' [my old, sucky name].

:)

Aoife

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i just posted in the who are we? thread.  it wasn't exactly brief, tho. :)

hilary

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<i>i just posted in the who are we? thread.  it wasn't exactly brief, tho. </i>

Hey the longer the better.

:)

Aoife

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I'm new to the site and feel nervous posting too. I'm worried that people will think my opinons are wrong, or I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing to someone who needs support and that my words won't comfort them.

But as people respond with messages of hope and understanding, my confidence gets a tiny bit better, I think 'I can't be all that bad, no-one is upset with me'.

I'm used to giving my opinions in literature, as I studied the subject and read a lot, but with abuse, people's emotions are at stake, and I'm afraid I won't say the right things.

I guess that's why I re-read every word and think before submitting a message. But I don't let my nervousness stop me from posting, nothing bad's happened yet!!

Love lea.

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Hello all. I am actually afraid to post, but anyway, I don't know what else to do! I'm really lonely, depressed(about the obvious) and scared. :-( The flashbacks and everything that goes along with it, are more intense and are coming back now. I've talked to alot of people(in my opinion) about how I've been feeling, but nothing seems to help. I will starting therapy(for the thousandth time!) again next week to talk about my coping issues, but I'm just really down and feel alone at the moment. What should I do? I don't know how much more I can take, and I just really need to hear from somebody who understands!

Btw, I'm a 21 year old female, african-american, college student, and  some of my interests are yoga, spirituality, writing, journaling, fine arts, and jazz.

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((((((((Chanpooh)))))))))

Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium!

I really encourage you to go into "My voice" and introduce yourself. Posting can be a terrifying thing for some people, but they often find it becomes easier after the first few times. You'll find some very loving and caring souls here.

I think you'll find that most people here understand what you're saying about the return of intense flashbacks and other trauma symptoms. I know for me, that just putting it out to people who I know understand makes me feel a little safer. I know it feels like shit...but perhaps the intensifying offers you an ability to heal and I hope your therapist can help you.

My truma symptoms deepend after I had one of my children, and I found out that it's common for them to feel overwhelming if you've had some sort of life change. Has something changed in your world recently? Perhaps it's the return to therapy that may be stirring things up-whatever, it's no fun, but you've come to the right place for support.

(((((hugs))))))))

Lou xxxxxx

PS I love Jazz too! Do you play?

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Ok, I'm replying for two reasons, first I want to boost it.

Second, I've needed to post for myself for about the past two weeks and I just cannot do it.  I've been here since March and posted 784862 times about myself and now I just can't.  Part of me is scared and the other part of me is, well, I don't know.  Somewhere along the lines I decided I was unworthy or something.  I'm rambling.  Nothing new about that, really.

Cathy

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Good point!

I definately was afraid to post at times. Alot of times, I don't have alot to say about things, or what I'm feeling. Sometimes, I'm feel that I have too much to say or that I'm burdening others with my problems or issues. The big one, for me, is that I always feel, when I'm reading the other posts, that somehow, what others have went through or what they happen to be feeling at the moment is more important or they need more attention(replies) and I'm just sitting here griping about something small, or that my problems are no big deal compared to someone else's. (Was that a run on sentence and a half or what? lol) But, all in all, I know that I'm just now starting on working my abuse issues. So it is going to take time, to feel better and everybody has issues that are important, but I think it mostly comes from what you think. (If that makes any sense)

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Hey Chanpooh,

What happened to you is important!  We all deserve to heal.  Maybe reading <a href="http://www.welcometobarbados.org/CGI-BIN/ikonboard/topic.cgi?forum=9&topic=20">this</a> will help, love.

I think that a lot of us have struggled with validating ourselves and I hope that you'll come to realize that your story is just as important as everyone else's.  We're in this together.

Hugs,

Jes

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It doesn't seem like it tonight, but it IS hard to post when you're new. I just don't want to upset anyone by saying the wrong thing, especially when replying to posts because it's so personal. This seems like such a wonderful place and I worry that I might muck it up.

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i am 3 days new here-i haven't posted because i am afraid to write anything that will conjure up or trigger my own emotions-feelings---i have been in chat-that seems to be different for me when i can talk to others-but writing in here feels like writing to myself-not that others would or wouldn't respond-it has nothing to do with other responses-

i had to write a report -the'happening' when i reported it to the authorities-so -for now that was enough till i can begin to let out my feelings & emotions -i am so scared & yet want to release it or at least some of it (feelings).

this initial post may help me-thank you for the opportunity w/in 'afraid to post'.

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Hey Bramma,

Take your time, okay?  This board is here for *you* to use in whatever way will help you heal the most.

Post whenever you feel ready, but please don't feel pressure to do it before then.

Welcome to the board!

Hugs,

Jes

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Hey Bramma,

Take your time, okay?  This board is here for *you* to use in whatever way will help you heal the most.

Post whenever you feel ready, but please don't feel pressure to do it before then.

Welcome to the board!

Hugs,

Jes

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Hi,  I am new here.  I wrote a few poems about surviving, and I sent them into the womyn's center on my college campus to be printed in a magazine called The Matrix.  I just gave them my initials, thinking in a large campus, no one would know it was me, and that I could say tihngs to others who have been hurt, so they know they aren't alone.  After two poems of mine were printed, and even before I got a copy of the 'zine, my roomate came home and said she saw my poems.  I was so afraid that she knew, but she just hugged me and asked me what I was doing for lunch.  Nothing changed when I found a voice, even as small and sqeakish as it was at first.  

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Hey Bec

Welcome and I hope you'll share that voice with us!

((((Hugs))))

Lou xxxx

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Hi everyone, this is my first post here, and my hands are shaking even as I type this. Afraid to make this leap....yes. Is it the forums fault....no. I am my own worst enemy right now, but I'm going to deal with it (or at least that's what everyones been telling me to do).

OK, that wasn't to bad.

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(((((Broadwind))))))

Hi and welcome - I hope we'll be hearing more from you as you settle and get comfortable. I can assure you you won't be sorry you came.

((((hugs))))

Louise xxxx

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