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Healing Books

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Tell me by kim adonizio...it is a book of poems and is simply wonderful

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Sexual Healing Journey by Wendy Maltz

She put in checklists of harming behaviours we may not even realize we are doing, worksheets to pinpoint what automatic reactions we have and why, and she talks not only about women, but men.  Not only about lack of sexual interest, but sexual interest overload as response to SA (my problem, and so far I've found very little writing on the topic).  Not only rape, but molestation (also my problem which I havn't found many books on).

Something that has been helping me a lot is to underline the things that sound like me.  

The book helped me realize that I keep recreating my abuse.

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I haven't scanned replies to check if this has already been posted.

Women Who Think To Much.

I can't remember the author.

I skimmed most of it, and the small part on Abuse was dissapointing.

I would give it ago...it might suit more ppl than others.

Kiwi

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sybil(for those suffering DID), and its pretty good, the first time i read it i was 10 and ddint apreciate it all, when i reread it after i was raped it was a totally different experience

lucky by alice sebold

lovely bones by alice sebold (i thought it was boring so i never did finish it, but i appreciate the way it was beautifully written)

She Comes Undone by Wally Lamb( i really related to the girl)

Inside Scars by Charolotte Hoffman

We Are The Mulvaneys, I saw the ,movie and always wanted to read it

The Missing Piece by Lee Ezell, about a girl who is raped and gives up the child resulted from the rape, and  how she later finds her her daughter

Treacheruos Love :an anonoymous diary by Beatrice Sparks, about a 12 year old girl who is seduced by her teacher

Speak

The Troops of Trudi Chase ( i thinks thats whats its called)

I know I've repeated some!

Since this thread is entitled "healing books"  i wanted to add something that was heaing to me just after I was raped (the weeks following). I hadnt told anyone about the rape and had been holded up in my room, feeling alone.And I was comforted (maybe not healed i guess, but soothed)  by reading childhood favotites. As a child I didnt have many friends, so books were big and important and they kept be entertained and taught me things. And I found friends within the books. They we the Babysitters Clubs books, and those girls and their babysitting adventures kept me sane. And I guess distracted from the reality what had happened. Just wanted to share that even though its sounds strange or something.

your truly, crystal :bee:

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Hi all

Most of the mentioned are not available in the UK but here are two that I found:

Healing the Hurt Within by Jan Sutton

and

Bright Red Scream by Marilee Strong

both focus on SI but very useful

I would like to read No Fairy Godmothers, No Magic Wands but unable to get it here in the UK!

Take care everyone and best wishes on your own journies of healing

Lotty

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The anxiety and phobia workbook.

It also covers PTSD.

It was pretty good. However you do need to be very motivated to put it into practice. Most of it though I was already doing (its called common sense, and applying other coping mechanisms from other areas of life).

Have a look. Even if you just skim it.

Kiwi

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hi,

i like daily meditation books, which have a one-page message for each day, or by topic... my favorite is called Daybreak, daily meditations for women survivors of csa. i will put in the author later.

for anyone with did, amongst ourselves is a good book/workbook.

tea

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Someone wanted a book on relationship rape?  

The Charm Syndrome is about abusive relationships and covers rape.  It's by Sandra Horley, who founded Refuge in the UK.  Great book.

The Pat Barker novels are ALL about PTSD, and she repeats herself like you've never seen (I've also caught her plagiarising from Joe Orton).  Nevertheless, the Regeneration trilogy is marvellous and the most useful book on PTSD I've read.  It's mostly about soldiers in WW1, so it's rarely directly about rape, but it is all about trauma and violation.  The individual titles are Regeneration, The Eye in the Door, The Ghost Road.

Some novels which deal with issues of rape and violation which I have found useful but which can be pretty damn triggering:

The Color Purple, Alice Walker

Possessing the Secret of Joy, Alice Walker

Cassandra: A Novel and Four Essays, Christa Wolf

And a couple of non-fiction suggestions.  Both are feminist interpretations of fairy tales which are fascinating and deal largely with female sexuality.  The first is by a Jungian analyst, the second is a classic of literary criticism.  Both are very readable.

Women who Run With the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes

From the Beast to the Blonde: On Fairy Tales and Their Tellers, Marina Warner

If you can't remember the author of a book, just put the title into a search engine and it should come up fairly quickly.

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"To Take Away the Hurt: Insights to Healing" by Flavia Weedn (you can buy it at www.flavia.com)

It's a collection of stories by the author and her daughter about times of hurt and loss in their lives, not rape related, but the common threads of loss and rebuilding are there.  It has a sort of spiritual tone, but it isn't religious per se.  It's definately a 2 box of tissues book.

From the introduction:

"To believe is to know that every day is a new beginning.  It is to trust that miracles hapen.  To believes is to find the strength and courage that live within us when it is time to pick up the pieces and begin again.  To believe is to know we are never alone, that life is a gift, and this is our time to cherish it." - Flavia

Ok maybe a 3 box of tissues book.

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I loved foxfire, if you want to be in touch with that rebel spirit.

Everyone needs a good rebellion from time to time!

Opening to the spirit by Caroline Arewa

In the meantime by Iylana Vanzant

The bodiancious book of succulence by sark

are all good ones!

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The Story of Jane Doe - A Book About Rape

The Book is written by Jane Doe and published by Vintage Canada, a division of Random House Canada.  It can be ordered online - it's not distributed outside of Canada, and that is very unfortunate because although it's Canadian, the story and information in the book are really applicable everywhere.  The woman who wrote the book was raped by a serial rapist in Toronto in 1986, and after learning that there was a whole lot wrong with the police investigation she sued the Toronto Police Force for negligence and gender discrimination.  It took a long time, and she won.  The book is very informative and I learned so much from it about rape and rape mythology.  Besides being eye-opening, it's inspiring, an amazing story and a great read.  Personally, reading this book so soon after I was raped helped me to understand what was going on in my life and in my head in a big way.  I haven't been able to put it down.  

You can read more about the book here:

Random House of Canada Ltd.

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Surviving Child Sexual Abuse Workbook there's a book and a workbook. I've only read the workbook and it has helped soooo much. I recomended it for any survivor of CSA. It is very very triggering tho. I can not remember for the life of me who it's by.

The Sacred Circle Of the Hula Hoop by Kathy Kennedy Tapp. It's a work of fiction and deals with a teenage girl who's sister is r@ped. It's a really good book for secondary survivors. It's young adult so it's an easy read.

~Olivia~

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Victim's No Longer, by Mike Lee, is a great resource for male survivors.

Troy

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im not sure who wrote it, i cant remember and i dont have the book right at hand cus im on vacation, but the books called Recovering from Rape.  its really informative, i found it a very good tool for healing and finding information.  i have also read the book, I can't get over it.  which is about PTSD, and offers alot of advice and helpful stratagys for healing.

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Ok, these two books have been mentioned but they've only been mentioned twice and they were so enormously healing for me that I think they need to be on here again and again and again and again.

"Lucky" by Alice Sebold.  God this woman is my heroine.  I mean she just wrote the most incredible, witty, emotionally moving account of her rape, her trial, her recovery.  She brought out truths that struck home from her exceptionally violent stranger rape to my passive agressive "I'll get you while you're sleeping" partner rape.  I read this book on an airplane a month after I was raped and was a sobbing hysterical mess, most of the ride.  However, they were healing tears and I needed them.

"The Lovely Bones" Alice Sebold.  My parents sent me this book a week or two after I had been raped and they didn't know yet.  It was triggering and emotional but isnpiring and incredibly well written.  I loved it.

I ordered both books from Amazon yesterday after reading excerpts, and I'm really looking forwrd to reading them! :)

I found poetry quite helpful in my healing process. I love completely getting lost in the language. My favorite poets are Sylvia Plath and Robert Frost.

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Allies in Healing is an excellent resource for partners of survivors.

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Oh my.

Sabine Dardenne, victim of Belgian paedophile Marc Dutroux, has written a book - called "J’avais 12 ans, j’ai pris mon vélo et je suis partie à l’école…" in French, "Ihm in die Augen sehen" in German, and "I was 12, I took my bike and I went to school..." in English.

It's only been published yesterday, so I haven't read it yet, but I can't wait. Gosh, I admire this woman so much. And for all those of you who might think "Oh no, not another memoir, here's a short text from the publishing house that will hopefull change your mind:

« I need to write this book for three reasons : so that people stop giving me strange looks and treating me like a curiosity; so that no one asks me any more questions ever again ; and so that the judicial system never again frees a paedophile for « good behaviour ». »

This book, dignified and restrained, was written so that the victim’s voice can at last be heard. For too long the attention of the media was monopolized by her torturer, while his victim was ignored. Her testimony, free of any fascination with evil or perversity, show how utterly the lives of the victims of paedophiles are devastated, their futures destroyed – even if some, like Sabine, manage to survive and get on with their lives. It is our duty to listen.

I'll post a review as soon as possible, but I'm sure it's great.

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The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd is an excalent healing book in my opinion. its about a girl whos father abuses her and mother died when she young. it goes through her story and how she got out and began to heal and succed. its a easy read that keeps you going.

laurs

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boost

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I agree with those who've posted up Lucky and The lovely bones, both by Alice Sebold. Definitely worth mentioning again, Lucky was truly inspiring

I have just this minute finished reading The little prisoner - Jane Elliott. I read it in 1 day. Hugely triggering, similar to the Dave Pelzer books which i've also read, but showed that with strength and courage, even the very worst and unimaginable of abuse can be overcome.

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hi, i'm new to all of this but i do have one recommendation of a book. It's called "little girl lost" and it's by Leisha Joseph and it's an autobiography about a woman who deals with an abusive mother,and drug addiction and when she's finally getting her life back on track she gets raped by a serial rapist. And it talks about her struggles when she gets married, and dealing with the rape and also going through the trial and what she did when he escapes from prison and comes after her. It really helped me out emmensely. I would recommend it to anyone. Wonderful book. :)

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Hello Fabulous People,

I am new to Pandora's Aquarium and I wanted to make a suggestion on a really inspiring book, which focuses on regaining your confidence and your light. The book is titled "The Power Is Within You" by Louise Hay. Before I was raped 6 weeks ago I was struggling with low-self esteem and other issues, but reading this book, has helped me considerably and I now know that I will get through this stage of my life with a positive outcome.

I am not sure if anyone out there is into New Age/alternative therapies, but I have been working with Doreen Virtue and Angel therapy for about 2 years and it is amazing. I also like to read Wayne Dwyer and Crystal Andrus' books. If you are curious, these authors all have call in radio shows on different topics. You can listen to the archive shows for free at www.hayhouseradio.com. I find that all these shows are helpful to me, I always learn something new and always come away with something to be grateful for.

Sendin you all lots of love and healing light,

Danni

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i'll add some more when i think of them, most of the ones i thought of straight up have been mentioned already.

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"Just because a woman is silent does not mean she agrees…"

My contribution to the pile is Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. This book helped me more than anything. I stumbled on it right after my own happening, and nothing has ever helped or comforted me more. That's because it's not just self help-- it's storytelling. And there's nothing more comforting in the worst times than a good story.

I think this should serve as enough explanation about the book.

Tears are like a river that take you somewhere. Weeping creates a river around the boat that carries your soul - life. Tears lift your boat off the rocks, off dry ground, carrying it down river to someplace new, someplace better. A womans crying has been considered to be quite dangerous, for it loosens the locks and bolts on the secrets she keeps. But in truth, for the sake of a woman's Wild Soul it is better to cry and cleanse yourself.

For women, tears are the beginning of your initiation into the Scar Clan, that timeless tribe of women of all colors, all nations, all languages, who down through the ages have lived through a great something, and yet who stood proud and still stand proud.

Let go of the shame and self imposed silence...confront your secret fears of those betrayals, forced acts, unrequited love, rejection, broken promises, neglect, and abuse. Bring these things to the surface, feel the feelings, cry the tears, and cleanse yourself of the pain of holding these shameful secrets. A wound will not heal until the matter is given words and witness. The center of your heart may be pierced, no matter how injured, your soul life continues, it can rise above, and sing it's way up and out again. Then move forward, to forgiveness, of yourself and of others. It may not have turned out to be a "Happily Ever After" but most certainly there is now a fresh "Once Upon a Time" waiting for you from this day forward!

The belly laugh....it awakens the body and the emotions. The kind of unrestrained laughter that rises up from the belly bringing a burst of life. In laughter a woman breathes fully, and when she does, she may begin to feel unsanctioned feelings. And what could these feelings be? Well, they turn out not to be feelings so much as relief and remedies for feelings, often causing the release of stopped up tears...hence, I laughed until I cried! Surround yourself during this "Wild Woman" transformation with your most comical sisters, watch funny movies, anything to bring that great, healing, belly laugh.

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