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Guest kat tahut

lol, i didnt realise we had a "books" thread til today ;) i posted in my voice about this book but i thought i'd repost here where it'd be more relevant :)

Hannah's Gift - Maria Housden. its about a little girl who died of cancer aged 3 and how she lived the last year of her life. so inspiring! its not totally on topic, but so much of the stuff in it can be applied to "our" situation. be warned tho, i cried all the way through it (which was 2 hours cos once i picked it up i couldnt stop reading til i was finished)

love & hugs,

tanni

xxx

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"Recovering from Rape" by Linda Ledray, RN, PH.D

Very helpful, at the end of each chapter it has a section for 'significant others' that talks about things discussed in the chapter.

"Journey to Wholeness" by Vicki Aranow and Monique Lang, it's a workbook, and some of the exercises are kind of hokey, but most are good.

"Still Loved by the Sun" by Migael Sherer, it's a journal she kept until a year after the rape. Very triggering, but very helpful.

~bailey

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  • 1 month later...

Bodily Harm by I can't remember who :), but a good treatise on self injury.

Of fiction I'd have to say "She's Come Undone" was extremely helpful for me -- a girl raped at age twelve gets through life and finally learns how to survive.  Very triggering though.  Written by Wally Lamb.

Ancien Echoes and Anam Cara by John O'Donohue; both books are written through a holistic, ancient celtic point of view and can be extremely healing.

Take care,

Amy

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I just picked up We Were the Mulvaneys by Joyce Carol Oates and it is particularly triggering, but a wonderful book. Another good one is The Perks of Being a Wallflower, can't remember the author, a friend is borrowing it. Also, Tuesdays With Morrie is a book that really puts a new perspective on life. I bought a copy of that for a lot of my friends. ;)

-vnvprincess (Amy Lynn)

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  • 2 months later...

some Beautiful fiction to escape with...

Book of shadows - Phyllis Curott - I actually read this one during my dv relationship; helped me find the courage to get out :)

Veronica decides to die - Paul Coelho - a reminder of the sheer beauty of life; very uplifting

Fifth Sacred thing - Starhawk - this vision of what society could be like is just so inspiring. Hope in a book!

The Rythym Section + (sequel) Chameleon - Mark Burnell

An amazing story of a woman assasin. feels like it's been written by a woman. Deals with personality/behavioural changes in the face of violence, emotional repression, sheer survival etc. This is the book that made me recognise myself as an amazing strong woman (like the main character) Very easy to relate to, this writer obviously understands the nature of violence in many forms.  

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My two favorite books are deffinately 'The Courage To Heal' and 'I Never Told Anyone'. Dealing with the issue of Childhood sexual abuse is hard but it's harder growing up still asking questions and still feeling guilty and ashamed of your childhood. We must understand that we are not alone and through my studies over the past 4 years I have learned that books on Child Sexual Abuse have been another key to successful healing.

Haullie

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  • 2 months later...
Guest she breathes

it's been said before but i'll say it again: the courage to heal (for female survivours of childhood sexual abuse). it has helped me soooo much.

(Edited by she breathes at 3:16 am on June 26, 2003)

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"I Can't Get Over It" was the strongest, most important factor in helping me heal (basically in lieu of a therapist), and understand that what I went through was traumatic. And it still helps me, with coping and learning triggers. I think I've immensely grown from it, learning about myself and who I have the potential to become.

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hmm . . . it's not really a novel or anything like that.  it's more of a comic (well, graphic novel)

it's "MARS" by Fuyumi Soryo.  i really identified with the main girl, Kira.  everything about her and her boyfriend Rei was like reading about me and my bf, even how she reacted to what happened to her.  it sounds weird, but it actually helped me alot.

it isnt too graphic, but she has flashbacks when she's with her bf.  plus, it's 12 or 15 volumes long

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  • 2 weeks later...

I would like to suggest that anyone seeking empowerment as a woman, and a new way of seeing the sexes, read The Second Sex, by Simone De Beauvoir, interesting and enlightening.

Also worth reading, for any of us, would be, Rape, the All-American Crime (author unknown by me) 'Sorry.  I haven't read it yet, but am going to.  Don't look for it in the library.  It's not PC.  (He,he)

Love to one and all -- Lee    

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest kat tahut

i read "lucky" by alice sebold this weekend. its wonderful, and the main thing about it for me is that it shows its ok to not be perfect.

tanni

xxx

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Guest choirgirl

fiction has had an amazing impact on my healing, mostly just by making me feel less alone, less wierd, and reading stories about girls with endings that always work out in healing.

"When She Hollers" by Cynthia Voigt - I picked this up at a rummage sale a few years ago, when I was pretty much ignoring what had happened to me.  it deals with sexual abuse from a stepfather, but it really opened the flood gates on everything for me.  it's a really fast, easy (not emotional wise) read.

"Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson - this was a really popular teen book two years ago.  I borrowed it from a friend and read it in a way.  it was really powerful to me because I felt the same way that the girl did, except I didn't let people see it.

I also found that "The Luckiest Girl in the World" by Steven Levenkron triggered a lot of new realizations about my life, even if they were not specifically about the assult.  it reads more like a case study than a true novel.  still, it's an amazing novel for those who inflict self harm.  (and the girl has my same first name, which just hit me even harder.)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence, from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

Author: Judith Herman

I have yet to finish it, but out of trama books this is the only one that i've read so far.

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Guest katehealer

"The Courage to Heal" can be as helpful to rape survivors as well.

"One Day My Soul Just Opened Up" by Iyanla VanZant great for self-esteem growth.

"The Woman's Comfort Book"   excellent self-care and self-soothe techniques for coping and learning love of self.  

"Healing the Child Within" and "A Gift to Myself" its workbook by Charles L Whitfield.

"I Can't Get Over It" PSTD.

"Trauma and Recovery"

"Secret Survivors"

"Safe Passage to Healing" for ritual abuse survivors.

"The Last Secret: Daughters Sexually Abused by Mothers" by Bobbie Rosencrans.

"When You're Ready: A Woman's Healing From Childhood Physical and Sexual Abuse by her Mother" by Kathy Evert.

"The Obsidian Mirror" by Louise Wisechild a lesbian healing from csa.

"She Who Was Lost Is Remembered" edited by Louise Wisechild an excellent resource about women's use of art in their healing processes from csa.  Excellent book.

"Transforming a Rape Culture"  excellent book on how we need to and can change ourselves, our loved ones, and our culture.

(Edited by katehealer at 4:45 pm on Aug. 19, 2003)

(Edited by katehealer at 6:32 pm on Aug. 20, 2003)

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I just bought "The sexual healing journey" and "The Courage to Heal workbook" but I'm deathly afraid of them.  ...and also very confused as to which one to read first....any suggestions?

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I've really appreciated a number of books already mentioned on the list and would like to add: The Only Girl in the Car: A Memoir -- Kathy Dobie and Waking the Tiger: healing from trauma by Levine (I think).

(Edited by windandrain at 12:45 pm on Aug. 20, 2003)

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Three books..."The Regeneration Trilogy" by an Englishwoman by the name of Pat Barker...looks at the effects of multigenerational trauma. A rather sizable investment of time, but well worth it.Sorry, but I can`t recall the titles of the individual books.

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I am always looking for books.  I have to say that Secret Survivors by E. Sue Bloom was very helpful to me.

Also:

"Trigger" for title-------

How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying To Kill Me by Susan Rose Blauner.  It is a good book about su*cide prevention, written by someone who is very forthright in speaking of her experiences.

Hope

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SunshineDaydream

Ok, these two books have been mentioned but they've only been mentioned twice and they were so enormously healing for me that I think they need to be on here again and again and again and again.

"Lucky" by Alice Sebold.  God this woman is my heroine.  I mean she just wrote the most incredible, witty, emotionally moving account of her rape, her trial, her recovery.  She brought out truths that struck home from her exceptionally violent stranger rape to my passive agressive "I'll get you while you're sleeping" partner rape.  I read this book on an airplane a month after I was raped and was a sobbing hysterical mess, most of the ride.  However, they were healing tears and I needed them.

"The Lovely Bones" Alice Sebold.  My parents sent me this book a week or two after I had been raped and they didn't know yet.  It was triggering and emotional but isnpiring and incredibly well written.  I loved it.

"Sleepers"  This is a story of male sexual abuse in a boys home by the prison guards and it is remarkable.  I am certain it will be triggering to amny.  I read it in high school years and years before I was raped, but if you're having a revenge day, READ THIS!

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I finished 'Lucky', a few days ago.

I didn't find it all that usefull, but there was a few things that made me realise that i wasn't the only person thinking like that. Actually what moved me the most was the bit about her friend being r*ped.

Im pleased i read it though. I skipped the first chapter, cos i knew that had the tiggering bits, but the rest still made sense.

I have read the book 'Speak' it is directed at teenagers but anyone can read it. I found it abit drawn out, but it did help abit.

'Watching the Roses' (i can't remember who its by) was probably the best one i have read. It is fiction (but written so truthfully, i think the author had some personal experience) and based on the fairytale Sleeping Beauty.

I kept thinking something was familar the whole way throught cos i hadn't read the blurb, which explains its based on a fairytale, duh!

But it was very sincere, its pretty obvious when its gets to the triggering stage. And it has a happy ending.

Some might say its not real life, but what she was feeling and saying was. And in a way, i did what she did, but instead of staying in my bed, i stayed within my own personal walls.

Give it a go!

I finished reading Trauma and Recovery:

It is a very matter of fact book, which is good, because sometimes you don't want all the emotions. It seems to be written for proffesionals, but its written in a way me and you can read it. I did find some parts helpful, and it helped me realise where i was on the '3 stages of healing' (thats only a rough guide though). I would recommend it to people not wanting first hand accounts, and wanting to understand trauma and its affects.

While im here i might aswell add 'Emotional Rsilience: Simple truths for dealing with the unfinished business of your past" whew thats a long one.

If Trauma and Recovery is matter of fact this is well, no bullsh*t i suppose. He has a kind of no sympathy approach which at first took me back. But its good once again, to have no emotions in it.

I found it made me look at my feelings and reactions to feelings in a different way. I didn't agree with all the things he wrote. And its not aimed only at SA survior.

If you are wanting to try and accept the past and move on i would recommend it.

I would also recommend it because it does give another point of view.

To sum up, it made me think, i only got triggered once through the whole book, and its very much 'cut the crap and get on with life' in a positive way.

(Edited by kiwi at 3:20 pm on Sep. 3, 2003)

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  • 2 weeks later...

"In their own words" by jackie hayden.

Published by Hot Press Books on behalf of the Wexford Rape and Sexual abuse Support service.

I havent actually read all of this yet, but it is the first book i have ever come across written for Irish survivors.  It has contributions from counsellors, a garda, legal counsel, dircetor of the Wexford Rape Crisis Centre and also some survivor stories and resources in Ireland.

Definitely worth a look.

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Just finished Lucky a week ago and found it ... well ... triggering. I admire her for writing it. Definitely felt shaken for awhile after.

I don't know if this has been mentioned but I love the Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. It's just such a beautiful story and so well written. I feel like I heard about it all over the place this summer. I don't know what I can say without giving anything away, so here's the summary from amazon...

14-year-old Lily Owen, neglected by her father and isolated on their South Carolina peach farm, spends hours imagining a blissful infancy when she was loved and nurtured by her mother, Deborah, whom she barely remembers. These consoling fantasies are her heart's answer to the family story that as a child, in unclear circumstances, Lily accidentally shot and killed her mother. All Lily has left of Deborah is a strange image of a Black Madonna, with the words "Tiburon, South Carolina" scrawled on the back. The search for a mother, and the need to mother oneself, are crucial elements in this well-written coming-of-age story set in the early 1960s against a background of racial violence and unrest.

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